Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Hymn #365

This is a hoot, but I expect the minister didn't appreciate it.

A minister was completing a Temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he Said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced With a smile, nearly laughing, "For our closing song, Let us sing Hymn #365, "Shall We Gather at the River"

Smile, life is too short not to !!

See you at the river.


Friday, July 27, 2007

Freaky Friday

I have a theory about Fridays. I think people get a little crazy on this day. I know the patients have a tendency to get sick or psychotic on fridays. Traffic is always worse on fridays. I bet people even cheat more on fridays. Seems like a good day to go crazy. In a perfect life I would never ever work on Fridays or Mondays for that matter. Just Tuesday,Wednesday, and Thursdays. How about it Nurse Myra? Your folks act up on fridays? I know y'all have a happy hour on Fridays.

I got a call this morning from a Dr. office wanting us to send a nurse out to admit a patient right now into home health services. I explained that since it is almost noon and the nurses are already out and about that we could admit but it wouldn't be until after 6pm this evening. The nurse at the Dr. office said ok go ahead and admit because this patient may need ot go to the E.R. WTF?? Yeh, let's wait until all the Dr. offices are closed for the day and then send a nurse out to see the patient who may or may not need to go to the E.R. I did talk to the patient or at least attempt to talk to him. He is older than dirt and deaf in one ear and can't hear out the other. I screamed at him until I was hoarse and he still had no idea what I wanted or who I was. Sad, but true. Not only that but he lives in a shady part of town. That is always a plus for the on-call nurse going out. Not only willhe have to work after hours seeing a sick person but he will have to dodge the crakcheads who will undoubtedly be milling all around. At least, the nurse is male and not a little bitty girl going out there.

I plan on working this weekend and I am not looking forward to it. I usually don't mind but tomorrow all I want to do right now is sleep in and veg out! Oh well, better luck next time huh? Hope everyone has a great weekend!


Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Rat Bastard

This is what a true Rat bastard looks like. He is the one on the left in the white shirt.The slut he cheated on me with is behind him. He looks like he has gained some weight since we split up. He also has my camera in his hand! Rat fucking Bastard! I hope he gets really fat and can't see his dick anymore. How's that herpes working out for ya?? A mutual friend sent me this picture.What am I supposed to do with this you ask? I am off to post this picture on dontdatehimgirl.com


Who Knew??

Your Boobies' Names Are...

Kermit and Miss Piggy
Boobie Name Generator

LOL! My boobs have names! What's yours? Hey, I am so into Paolo Nutini! He is sooooo good! If you haven't heard his new CD then go get it! What? Go! NOW!!!Then come back and tell me how great I am for turning you onto him!


Tuesday, July 24, 2007

What color is your soul painted?


Your soul is painted the color blue, which embodies the characteristics of peace, patience, understanding, health, tranquility, protection, spiritual awareness, unity, harmony, calmness, coolness, confidence, dependability, loyalty, idealism, tackiness, and wisdom. Blue is the color of the element Water, and is symbolic of the ocean, sleep, twilight, and the sky.

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests


Monday, July 23, 2007

Big brother

So, am I the only one who is obsessed with Big Brother this year?I love it so much. I can't help it! I love that Showtime has 3 hours of live feed every night! I cannot find a web site to chat about it though. Last year, they had chat rooms on the CBS BB web site. I love Jessica and Jamika the mostest. Amber is a crybaby and Evel Dick is gross with his constant lugey hocking in the back yard. OMG! Will no one call him out on that? Kail is so annoying and it is looking like she will not be the one to go home! Great! we get to see her implode all over again the next time she goes on the block. I say put her and Amber up against each other and watch them go nuts! Dani works me the most!All she does is sit around and mope unless she is being wooed by Nick who has to be the most transparent person in the house. He tells every girl in there he wants them to win. He says he doesn't want the money! What? Dumbass!


Friday, July 20, 2007

I'm the What??

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.


Stress Management

Many of you may not know this but I do see a pschychiatrist. Working with the talker is not the easiest job but it wasn't just her. I was in a deep depression last year and I am so much better now. I have learned a lot and am always happy to share my knowledge with all of you. Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a Stress Management Technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a
crystal clear stream.

2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.

3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.

4. No one knows your secret place.

5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.

6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.

See? It really does work. You're smiling already.

Now get out there and have a great weekend!


Thursday, July 19, 2007

Open Letter

Dear Alcohol,

First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge
fan of yours.

As my friend, you always seem to be there when
needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at
the game, and you're even around at the holidays
(hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're
stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings).

However, lately I've been wondering about your
intentions. While I want to believe that you have my
best interests at heart, I feel that your influence
has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone Calls and text messages: While I agree with
you that communication is important, I question the
suggestion that any conversation after 2 a.m. can
have much substance or necessity. Why would you make
me call my ex's? Especially when I know, for a fact,
they DO NOT want to hear from me during the day, let
alone all hours of the night.

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal. But,
why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili
sauce along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips
(washed down with wine & topped off with a Kit Kat AFTER a few cheese curls
& chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater but, I
think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell
me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need
to hammer this issue home by causing me to fall
down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black &
blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the
next day are beyond me.

Similarly, it should never take me more than 45
seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop! This
is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for
our previous evening's debauchery may be in order.
But, the 3 p.m. hangover immobility is completely unacceptable.
My entire day is shot. I ask that if the proper precautions are
taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, tylenol)
prior to going to sleep/passing out (face down on
the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn ).
The hangover should be minimal and in no
way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some
years now and would like to ensure that we remain on
good terms. You've been the invoker of great
stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the
needed companion when I just don't know what to do
with the extra money in my pockets.

In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you
carefully review my grievances above and address
them immediately. I will look for an answer no later
than Friday 3 p.m. (pre happy hour) on your possible
solutions. And hopefully we can continue this
fruitful partnership.

Thank you,
Your Biggest Fan

P.S. Please take a moment or two and note the
following items below that I think may be of some
interest to you.


1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon


1. Specificity

2. Aluminum

3. Passive-Aggressive Disorder


1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.

2. Nope, no more vodka for me.

3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.

4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out

5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.


Wednesday, July 18, 2007

History mystery

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head .

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy huh?


Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Don't it Always Seem to Go...

I have a friend named Poppy. She is one of those bigger than life people who commands the attention of everyone within earshot. It makes for some fun evenings, believe me. The other day I met up with her and a few other friends at this little place downtown. It is a beer garden and there were about 4 of us sitting around drinking beer and bullshitting at a picnic table. It is a great place to sit and visit. There are these big pecan trees that provide plenty of shade from the hot Texas sun. Anyways, Poppy is off on a tangent about some Doctor treating her badly (every day occurrence). She is being so serious and we were all drinking. She is ranting on and on and all of a sudden plop! some bird shit hits her left shoulder! She looks at it disgustedly and flips it away with her fingers never missing a beat with her story. We all sit there listening and trying no to think about the bird shit. She goes on and a few minutes later plop some more bird shit lands on her right shoulder.She looks at it and again flips it away with her hand all the while telling her story. Again, we sit there listening and not mentioning the bird shit.(small feat for most of us but she is wound up).By now, she is all twisted up and she says" I told him I wasn't gonna take any more of his shit!" And right on cue, the biggest plop of bird shit lands right on top of her head! Oh my god! We all crack up, literally rolling on the floor with laughter! How apropos is that? Even she had to chuckle at that one! Yeah, good times!


Friday, July 13, 2007

No Toilet paper

I will leave you with a funny for the weekend!

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives.. However, they had Gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Being incredibly drunk, and walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. Neither of them had anything to wipe with, so the one thought she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend, however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. But, she was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home.

The next day, one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed .... hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girls nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst ..... My wife came home with no panties!
"That's nothing," said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, We'll never forget you."


Thursday, July 12, 2007

2nd Anniversary

Today is the 2nd anniversary of the death of my dearest friend in the world,Nancy Painter.I miss her each and every day. I remember how devastated I was to hear the news. I haven't made the appointment to have my tattoo added to yet but I am calling today. Hopefully by next weekend I will have it done. It amazes me sometimes how life just moves on. I am reminded of the song that goes Why does my heart go on beating, why do these eyes of mine cry, don't they know it's the end of the world, it ended when you said goodbye. I felt that way that day. Like, how can people still be driving their cars and acting like the worst thing in the world didn't just happen? I am not going to cry today. Or at least I am not planning on it. We will see how the day goes.

Lady Bird Johnson passed away in her home yesterday. They say she died a peaceful death surrounded by her loved ones. I loved that lady. She was the epitome of a true Texas lady. She worked so hard to make things better in her lifetime. She was a big supporter of Keep America Beautiful and was instrumental in much of the natural beauty both in the nation's capital as well as here in Texas. I once saw her in a building here in town.She was getting of the elevator and I saw her and squealed like a school girl "Oh Lady Bird, I love you" and rushed to hug her. I was met by 2 rather large gentlemen who effectively blocked my way! Oops! Forgot about the secret servicemen. She waved them away and hugged my neck anyways! The state of Texas as well as the whole country has lost a wonderful person!

My car is in the shop. I took it in this morning. Of course, I am broke as a joke so hello, my car is hiccuping when I am at a standstill. I don't know what that means but I am sure it will be costly. I love my car and would hate to have to get another one.

The "talker" is out today. That is a nice present for me on this auspicious day. I don't think I could make it if I had to listen to her over there on the other side of the partition sighing away. I swear some days I feel like I should hold on to something or get sighed out of here. I shouldn't make fun of her but she does get all flustered and so easy at that. Her surgery is scheduled for the 26th of this month and she will probably be out for about 6 weeks.Who knows I may even miss her while she is gone...NAH!


Monday, July 09, 2007

Amber Alert

I am writing this to all you mothers of young girls out there. I was at my friend Jana's house this weekend and I heard the most disturbing news!We were talking with Jana's daughter and one of her friends,Amber. We were talking about boys and the hottness of them and the subject of making out came up. Now, before I go any further, I want you to think about this next question. What does the term making out mean to you? To me, making out is kissing with tongues and that is it!

According to Amber and what I perceive to be the young women of making out age(14 and up) making out is any and everything but vaginal intercourse. That is to say dickage! HELLO! WTF?? Yeh, ladies these girls are under the impression that sucking dick and eating pussy is all making out!

I have no children but you ladies out there, I have one big question for you... What in the BLUE HELL have you been teaching your daughters?? Are you all smoking crack or what?? Om my god! Somebody stop the maddness! If it is something you can pay someone to do to you then it is sex! Sucking dick and eating pussy is oral SEX people! A hand job is sex! Anytime a dick appears in the scenario it is SEX!I am appaled at the whole thing! I mean come on! Teach these girls something!

A blow job is much more intimate than vaginal sex if you ask me. I mean you have someone's dick in your face! In your mouth for gripes' sake! A blow job is not handed out willy nilly girls! This is a reward, a priviledge, a buisness propostion!Yes, a business proposition! Say, your boyfriend gives you an iced coffee, you kiss him and say thank you!He gives you a Christmas present of perfume, you kiss him and say thank you! He gives you a diamond engagement ring, you kiss him and give him a blow job! Diamonds exchanged= blow job. Blow jobs are the mecca of sex girls. Men love them so much! A way to a man's heart is not thru his stomach, it is thru his pecker and believe me when I say that a blow job is their favorite thing! If you are gonna go around giving them out every day then they lose their status! It would be like having Christmas every day!No, no, no! No blow jobs or hand jobs are to be done with making out!

Amber was very popular in high school! Yeh, I bet she was. I told Jana's daughter that there are girls out there who give blow jobs but they are sluts! Dop not be a slut girls and please nip this misconception in the bud! These little chickys are gonna upset the palying field!

Ok now to recap, making out involves kissing with tongues and that is it. No feeling up, no hand or blow jobs no dicks at all. Dry humping is heavy petting. Never touch a dick until the time is right and if you have any confusion as to when that is then refer to the above! Now, get out there and make me proud!

Steph, you are a young girl who says she never has sex. Well, now I am wondering about you. I mean if this is any indication of what you young'uns think of as making out then you have certainly been doing alright for yourself then! Say it ain't so Steph!


Friday, July 06, 2007

Hollywood Squares

Hollywood Squares

If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this
may bring a tear to your eye. These great questions and answers are
from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were
spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host
asking the questions.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q.! You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man
or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q . According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and
you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him
if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and
I'll give you a gesture you' l never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going
to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I' m too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps.One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the CampFireGirls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q.When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q.If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q.According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into
the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q.It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q.Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q.Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q.When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them
and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do
in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh


Thursday, July 05, 2007

Soggy 4th Of July

Well, I don't know how everyone else's holiday was but here it was wet and soggy! I met up with Jana and her husband and Connie with Casey Wade and some other friends for breakfast at a little Mexican food restaurant. This place has the worst service but the best migas!The coffee is good too! I did see a few patients in the afternoon as it was a holiday and the pay was holiday pay!

I am broke as a joke people! I signed up for automatic withdrawal from my checking account of 1/2 of the mortgage every 2 weeks. They told me to pay my mortgage in June and they would start taking out for July payments in June. Well, they never did so when I got paid week before last I paid the mortgage. Then the following week they took out 1/2 of the mortgage too! It threw my checking account in the red and the bank started racking up all those charges! I have over $250 in bank charges!Yikes! I had to pull from my savings and put it in my checking account so it kind of like someone pushed re-set on my finances! Oh well, at least now I know for sure how much I have in the bank! Nothing! Luckily, I have a job I can just work extra and make some extra money!

Ok enough bellyachin' already! My cousin,Linda had a wreck Tuesday evening! She was on her way to visit friends after work and was driving in the rain on the interstate when she hydroplaned and hit "the wall"! You know the wall? It is the freaking wall they put up for construction. It is made of concrete and has all these little chinks and black marks all over it. I try to stay far away from the wall! In fact, last week when we went to Dallas she was teasing me about the wall because I will drive behind a slowpoke rather than pass next to the wall! Same thing with my cousin Tammie who she rode to Paris with and also gave a hard time about the wall! Well, hello! Now she knows why we fear the wall! She said she hit it on the left side of the pick-up and her truck flipped over on its right side! She had to cut herself out of the seat belt! She would not go to the ER and instead said she was going to stay with her friend and get drunk! Ok good to have a plan! But guess what before the drinking could begin her friend stepped off the porch and broke her arm and Linda had to drive her to the ER and was there all night! Dang! I was like, just take your time getting home with that karma!

She did come home yesterday afternoon and she was sore and bruised! Poor thing! I ended up staying home with her. I was gonna go watch some fireworks but I went outside to cook on the grill and about got carried away by the mosquitoes! Is it just me or do those things look bigger this year?I opted not to go watch with the skeeters!

They say we are going to have more rain today and it does look as though it wants to rain again. Linda is off today. She needs to go car shopping! Her truck is totaled!My dogs have been in the house for over a week with only limited time in the yard! My house smells like dog! I did mange to bleach the floor in the bathroom,bedroom, and living room yesterday! Nothing like having your house smell like dog and bleach! Ok nothing more to say! Back to the grind! Coffee break over!


Tuesday, July 03, 2007

My Little Man

This is Dooley!The picture isn't that good because I took it with my phone camera! But is he not the cutest little blue daschund you ever did see? Love him so much!!!He is wrapped up in his favorite red blanket.He loves to burrow in and snooze it up on the couch. I am off tomorrow and plan on sleeping in late and then if it doesn't rain, I am going to Jana's to swim and lay by the pool. I am going to look for a juicy watermelon after work to take over. Hope everyone has a great 4th of July !!


Monday, July 02, 2007

My life with Men part 4

After Dan split I went kind of crazy with the sport fucking. I dated a cabbie who was way cute but he was Jewish and every time he came he felt guilty about it. He had to give it up after a while. I started dating Tom again. The big Swede. He was more attentive and we got along better.He moved in with me and we had a great holiday season.

I remember for my birthday he met me at the door wearing nothing but a big bow on his pecker and when he opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue it read happy birthday baby. This was in the early 80's and the big thing to do was hot tub. He took me to a hot tub rental place and we had 2 bottles of champagne. It was a nice nice time. Then in Feb. we both got the flu and were stuck with each other sick for a week. After that week he/we decided it was time for him to get his own place.He did and we continued to see each other but he was strange.

Sometimes he wanted me and sometimes he would push me away. This went on for a few months. Then one day we were supposed to be planning a big weekend camping and fishing. I was feeling kind of like I had the flu but my hips were killing me. I mentioned this to Tom and he got all quiet. We ended up going camping anyway but by the time we got back I knew something was wrong. I had a lesion on my labia. I went to see my OB/GYN and guess what? Yep, genital herpes. I asked Tom and he told me yes he had it but that he had always made sure when we did it he was not having a breakout and wanted to know if I was sure I got it from him. Well, since you are the only one I have had sex with in 6-8 months then yeh, I think it was you. I was hurt and angry that he would not tell me about it before we got involved. That was why he would be all lovey one time and blow me off the next. It wasn't me at all. It was him! What a jerk. I was devastated. My life was over. I stayed home and felt sorry for myself.

A few weeks later he came over late one night after a night of drinking and came into the house. He knew where the key was hidden. He tried to crawl in bed with me and I jumped up and said no way dude. He said hey why not I haven't got anything you haven't got. Fucker! We argued and he finally fell asleep or passed out rather on my couch. I sat there for a while looking at him and his beautiful body. Perfect in every way. But what a jerk. I had to get up early the next morning to go to the "w". I got up, went to the kitchen ,looked in the junk drawer and there it was, the super glue! I went back to Tom and took the glue and glued his dick to his stomach. My only regret was I didn't glue his hand to his dick to his stomach. I went back to bed and when I got up he was still passed out and left the house. When I came back he was gone and I never heard from him again.

Years later, a friend of mine said she had met him at a bar and asked about that night. I guess she didn't believe my story. He told her yes, I did it and he had to go to the ER and ended up having skin grafts done to his penis. Hey, I figure I did the female population of this county a service for a while anyway. I did see him about 5 yrs later at a party. He was very nice to me. But he never got within arm's reach of me. LOL


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