I think about my best frined in the whole world and how she just dropped dead on July 12th 2005. She had a bleed in her brain and probably died before she hit the floor. How fortunate for her. But me, well, you see I always thought we would grow old pissing our pants in the same nursing home together. She and I met in 1978 when I went to work at the county hospital in the trauma unit. She was without a doubt one of the funniest, nicest,smartest, sweetest people in the world. In fact, I will go as far as to say she was an angel here on earth. She made everyone who ever meet her feel better. I last saw her face in june of the same year when we were walking out of the airport together after a trip to Vegas. I talked to her almost every day on the phone but that was the last time I saw her. I wish I had known that was my last time to see her. Maybe I would have taken the time to really look at her, you know.We were supposed to meet up at Barton Springs on July 4th but I never showed up and by the time I talked to her to see if she wanted to go with us to watch the fireworks she said she was tired and just gonna go home. I play that over and over in my head and wish upon wishes I had made it out there that day ,but, I was in a relationship and he wanted to do something else. I think of her every day. I know that whatever happens in the rest of my life I will never see her again ever. This makes me incrediably sad. But last night, I had a talk with her. I mean it was so real. She was laughing and telling me how she had met Jimmie Hendriks, Albert Schwitzer,Groucho Marks ,and Jimmie Durante. I know that sounds bizarre but hey she was special. She also told me that when I die she will be right there to welcome me. She said I will not be afraid.This of course, made me very happy but today I am depressed because I know that no matter what happens to me -I could find true love and get married to a wonderful man or win the lottery or fall and break my neck. It does not matter because she will still be dead! Always for the rest of my life she will be dead!