Friday, June 29, 2007

My Life with Men Part 3

Okay,so right around the time the Dr. was asking me to marry him, I was dating a way cute guy I met At Sandy's (hamburger joint)it turned out to be nothing but it was good for my self esteem. After the Dr. thing I was a little let down but not my style anyway. Not just the bi thing but the whole lifestyle of playing a part I wasn't. Around this time I went to a Labor day party with some friends out at City Park. It is a nice place nestled on the Colorado river. We were sitting around the campfire having dinner and drinking wine,playing guitars and singing you know chillin'. Anyway, these 3 guys came up and asked if they could join our fun. 2 of them were on the road from Washington DC and the other guy was by himself and on the road from California.His name was Dan. He was co cute and had a really nice smile. I remember looking at him and telling my girlfriend "I'm gonna drink this bottle of wine and then I am taking that guy home and fucking him" Romantic I know but I was young and crude and knew exactly what I wanted. He came home with me and OMG it was to this day the best sex I ever had. Not to mention he was the best kisser ever.The next day I took him back to his campsite. He was very interesting and played the guitar and sang. The other 2 guys he had befriended also played music,banjo and the mandolin. The 3 of them would play together at this bar across the river for beer and dinner. They were kind of like wanderers. I was fascinated by the freedom of their lives. Camping out and doing whatever they wanted. Going where the wind blows. Dan and I became inseparable. If he wasn't at my house I was camping with him under the stars.I fell in love with him. He was kind and gentle and always up for something fun. He was soft spoken and he loved me right back.

He had a 1964 ford panel van. It was great for camping. By October he had decided to stay in town instead of moving on because of me. He moved in a few weeks later. We were so happy never had a fight or a cross word. I had never had a man who made me feel so complete. My Grandmother adored him and so did all my friends. My mom however never met him because she said her husband refused to let Dan in his house. Not because he was a bad man but because he felt that anyone who would want to be with me must be a loser and he wanted no part of it. Whatever! Just gave me an excuse not to go to her house for the yearly Thanksgiving ritual. Anyway, during that time I also quit my job in the trauma unit and Dan and I decided to take to the road. It was 4 months of adventure and travel.We left town right after Thanksgiving and travelled along the gulf coast to Florida. he had relatives in the keys and we stayed with them a few nights.

We left Florida and headed up to Oswego, new York where he was from. We stayed there thru the holidays and then continued our trek across the northern part of the US going into Canada a few times too. We did it all in the van and believe me it was camping in the wilderness with nothing but a little burner to cook on and keep warm by. We had a little bed in the back with these cute little granny square curtains to partition the front part of the van from the back. We would stop in the mornings at ranger stations or park stations, just wherever we could get cleaned up. Once, when we were in the Grand Tetons Dan got up early one morning and left me sleeping in the bed. he drove to the ranger station and got out to do his morning toilet. I got out too in my flannel nightie and fuzzy slippers with my toothbrush and soap and went to the Ladies room. When I came out the van was gone! It was below freezing and i went to the ranger station and got some coffee to wait on Dan to come back.Dan, in the meantime had gotten back in the van and lit up a fatty and went merrily along down the highway. He drove along admiring the beauty around him for a couple of hours and began thinking he should wake me up to see the sights. he pulled back the curtains to find me gone! he had to turn around and come back to the last place he thought I would be! in the meantime, I am sitting in the ranger station with the guy saying "are you sure he is coming back?" I was beginning to wonder the same thing myself until I saw him drive up with a sheepish look on his face! I was thinking how was I gonna call mm Mom and ask her to send for me.We went all the way to the pacific coast and drove the coastline down to California.

By that time we were both out of money and tired of the road so we headed back to my town. After that we came back to earth and settled into the routine of daily life. I got a job working as an agency nurse doing private duty and then went to work at the dialysis clinic. Dan started doing house painting. We were busy and didn't see one another too much. I was going in at 4am and off by 1pm. I was in bed by 7pm. He would get off at 6-7pm so we missed each other. We had gotten 2 little mutt labs-girls,Donna and Amber. I came home one afternoon and lay down to take a nap. I would nap and then get up when he came home and have dinner and spend a little time with him. I woke up about midnight and he wasn't home yet. This was before cell phones and beepers were for pimps and drug dealers.I was confused. I looked in the closet and the drawers and he was gone. I also noticed that one of the puppies was gone. Well, I had noticed that before but just thought he had taken one with him to work. He did that sometimes. I was frantic. I got in the car and drove out to the lake where we used to camp. Sure enough, he was there. I asked him WTF? I cried and he must have freaked out because he ended up coming back home with me and holding me and petting me all night telling me how much he loved me and how he would not leave again. I fell asleep in his arms, got up and went to work at 10am that morning. I had a bad feeling all day and sure enough when I came home that evening he was gone. Both dogs were home and he had left me a note saying he was just not the kind of man who could settle down. He said he loved me but if I could just understand that he was a traveller.It broke my heart. Again, I was left abandoned. I couldn't eat,sleep,think,nothing. All I could do was work and man did I do that. One good thing about being a nurse is you can always lose your problems there. Everyone has bigger more emergent problems than you and you can actually fix their problems,unlike your own.

I remember Nancy was so worried about me that she came and spent the night with several times but that just made it worse. Not only was I unable to sleep but I had to be quiet because I didn't want to wake her up. He wrote me a letter about 1 month later with a picture of him at a campground playing his guitar. He ended up in Oswego,New York. That was his home town. I lost contact after he called and said he missed me and would come back but the van had busted and he had no money to get here. So, yeh, I did, sent him western union enough money for a plane ticket. Guess what, I never heard from him again. When I tried to call his family's house I was told to leave him alone that he didn't want to talk to me.

I loved him so totally and completely that to this day if I think about him very long I can well up. I remember telling the next few guys I dated that I would leave them in a heartbeat if he came back. So, if anyone out there knows Dan Jennings from Oswego,New York age 55 0r 56 now,tell him I said hey asshole I am finally over you. We were together for 9 months. It seemed like a lifetime.

They say it is better to love and loose than never to be loved at all. I wonder about that. I wonder how you know if you are loved. I mean, maybe he was just hanging out with me and got tired of the domestic life and just wanted to be a roamer. Did he love me? Seems like if he did he wouldn't have left me. They always leave one way or another. Everyone I love or who loves me ends up leaving me.


Thursday, June 28, 2007

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

Woman's Answer: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the # &%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

I'm sorry. What was the question?


Wednesday, June 27, 2007

My Life with men Part 2

After I moved here,I dated a lot of loser guys. I mean they were musicians,poets,writers,songwriters,painters,sculptors,well you get the picture. I was 25 and looking good. 5'11'' and 150lbs. I would go out dancing 3 times a week and that is great exercise. I met this guy Tom. He was a big beautiful Swede from Minnesota. He looked like Sting but better looking. Girls would stop us on the street because they really thought he was Sting. I fell in love with him. He was a poet and he would whisper lovely poetry made up on the spot just for me. He turned me onto Charles Bukowski.He was a good lover and had a huge dick. We were not that great together because he would be all into me one week and then blow me off the next. I was obsessed with him though. He was very charismatic.I caught him cheating on me. I went to his house with lasagna. I looked in the window and there he was fucking some girl. I took the lasagna and smeared it all over the door and wrote asshole in lipstick on his car windshield.Then I went home and got drunk with 2 girlfriends and we went back and slashed his tires. Yeh, I know I am not proud but he hurt me and I needed to retaliate. Needless to say we broke up.

But that was okay because I started dating a really nice guy, also named Tom.He was one of the residents from the hospital.He was the son of an air force chaplain.He was very conservative and used to the finer things in life. He would take me to five star restaurants where there was so much silverware on the table you couldn't figure out if there were more people coming to eat with you or not! I never wore the same thing twice around him. I also didn't cuss,smoke or act all crazy. He introduced me to his parents. I had told him I had always wanted to live in Perth. He applied for a fellowship in Perth. He got it and then he asked me to marry him. I knew before he asked me he was going to ask. He prefaced it with "I really am fond of you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. But, there is something I want you to know, I haven't been with a woman in 7 yrs.''

At first, I thought he meant he had not had sex in that length of time because when we finally did do it it was like the first time for high school kids awkward thing going on. Not true, he had been with men. I mean I saw the 2 story house with the white picket fence with the 2 kids and the golden retriever in the yard. Everything except the fact that he was gay. I was heartbroken but I really was not in love with him. He was just what I should have been looking for or so I thought.I had to turn him down!


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

I'm back

Well, the party was a lot of fun. I got a little tipsy on mojitas! I took all of 3 pictures if that tells you anything. The crowd was mostly young'uns in their 20's. But they were fun to party with anyways. The band that played was really good too. Reggae music and get this;the singer is married to my cousin's wife's brother. He was on America's Got Talent. He in going to be in the top 20. I think now they are still going through the auditions but he was on there and they all loved him and told him so. His name is Cas Haley and even though he says he is from Arlington, he is from Paris.I did however take some interesting pictures of Paris and I will post them sometime this week. Dooley stayed with my friend the breeder,Nancy. I went to her house yesterday to pick him up and he was so happy to see me! I was pretty dang glad to see him too, I tell you! It was a love fest. He kissed me so much I think he may have gotten to first base with me! LOL!I went shopping and got some great jewelry and a cool purse too. I am all about the bling ya know! I am back at work with the talker and she is not so mouthy today. Maybe she got used to being alone in here. Let's hope she keeps the quiet stuff up! My knee is killing me today. I spent too much time in the car yesterday and sitting in low places all weekend. I need me a handicapped hotel room next time. The toilets are too low in those places. You never think about that but hey when you gotta go and you sit down and all you can think about is how much your knee hurts well, let's just say it tends to cause a lot of tenseness in the muscles!I can hardly wait to get home and sit with my feet up.

I got to see my friend Connie in Dallas and her son and daughter too. Her daughter is married to an Air Force career man and they live with their 4 kids in Utah. Those kids were so cute and a handful!her son graduated from DeVry with a computer degree and his graduation was Sunday. I went over to his house to visit with everyone and there were these 2 snooty people who were there, friends of his and they were drinking bottles of wine. They would open one up, pour it and say stuff like it has nice crisp nose on it or it is tight. Connie's daughter,Jessica would say give me a sip and she would take a sip scrunch up her nose and say"it tastes like ass!"God, I love her so much! I am not much of a wine drinker either. I mean we all know when you drink 3-4 bottles of wine you are going to get drunk so don't go acting like you are drinking it to savor the flavor! Whatever!


Thursday, June 21, 2007

AM Radio

I grew up in the 60's and 70's. Back then, we had transistor radios. This was before boom boxes and CDs. Heck, it was before cassette tapes even!I grew up in a small north east Texas town and the radio stations I listened to were KLIF in Dallas and late at night WLS out of Chicago.I would listen to the radio all night long. You would have to listen to a lot of crappy songs to be able to hear your favorite songs. The other day I was listening to an oldies station and I was singing along to songs like "Love will keep us together" and "Rock me baby". I know the words to both songs. I know that back in the day I didn't like "The Captain and Teniele" but I know the words because I have heard them so many times. Back then, on the AM radio, you could hear your favorite songs maybe 10-20 times a day. But you could also hear all the suck-ass songs that much too.They would count down the top 40 every weekend with Casey Kasem.Some songs I hear and, of course, they are familiar because they are still getting played, but some of them I haven't heard in a long time. Like "Cherokee "" by Paul Revere and the raiders. I had such a crush on Mark Lindsey!Today, we have FM radio,Ipods,Mp3 players,walkmans,discmans, and CD players. I haven't seen a turntable in I don't know how long! I love it that music has evolved so much.I mean the sound is much better and the way we can listen to only the music we like. No more sitting through the lame songs to hear your favorite song. If you wanted to, you could program your machine to only play one song over and over again! Gone are the days of listening to the radio fading in and out.No more sappy commercials for the local Dairy Queen or Piggly Wiggly. But, sometimes, when I am going home from a crazy day at work, I turn on the oldies station and listen to those old songs and sing along. Yep, I can sing along to "Penny Lane" and "Mony, Mony" all the way home!


Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Men! Go Figure!

I first published this post in my old blog but I wanted to see what I had written and also to catch all of my 5 people who read this up because there are more to follow. I have had a wild ride with the men in my life and I am hoping some of you can shed some light on my dysfunction.So, here goes!

My life with men part 1
I have been trying to figure out what the deal is with me and men. My first serious relationship was when I was 20 yrs. old. I had just graduated from nursing school in my home town. I was seeing this man named Dave Mitchell. He was nice and good looking. He was the ex-husband of a friend of my then roommate. We started dating and he was all in love really fast and I was so young I think I could have confused lust for love. He was a Vietnam vet and had some anger issues.First off, let me just say NEVER EVER date a friend's old lover.Even a friend of a friend's old lover. This woman drove us nuts. She would break into our house and take his things, put them in a pile and set them on fire. Oh yeh, can we say dysfunction??? Anyway, things got hot and heavy and the next thing you know we are planning a wedding. We had decided to move out of town for obvious reasons. We went to a big city in the state. I got a job working in the trauma unit in town and he registered for classes at the university. We found an apt. and were getting married on Friday and leaving for our new life that same day. Wednesday night rolls around and Dave goes out with his buddies for a little bachelor party. We had packed up all our stuff. The apt. was furnished and so was the one we were moving into so we just had boxes and suitcases. He comes home after midnight way drunk and can't find his keys. We lived in a 2 story duplex with a slider in the kitchen. He takes a brick and throws it through the slider. I wake up of course and come downstairs. When I see what he had done I started bitching. I mean hello, we are leaving in 2 days not to mention there is a big gaping hole in the door. How's that for security? He kept telling me to shut up which I had no intention of doing. I continued to bitch and gripe about his actions and generally just becoming more and more excited. He pushed me to get me out of his face. I pushed him back and he turned on me and beat me down but good. I slid to the kitchen floor in a big old mess crying and cowering in the corner. He went upstairs and immediately fell into a stupor. I sat on the floor in the kitchen and thought about what had just transpired. I decided I was not going to be that woman. I got my stuff,packed my Camero up and went back in the house one more time to make sure I had everything.There was an empty 32oz. glass coke bottle sitting by the fridge. I picked it up and went back upstairs and stood there looking at him. He was on his stomach . I took the bottle and cold-cocked him first,then I beat him about the head,shoulders, and back with that bottle. Then I ran down the stairs,out of the apt. , and drove to my new life. A couple of months later I was working the night shift and I came out after work one morning to the parking garage and he was sitting on my car. We talked and he admitted he was way out of line. He was begging me to take him back and give him another chance. We went and got coffee and talked. He told me his car had broke down and he took the bus to get here. I told him he could stay with me to see how it worked out. That night he wanted to sex me up but I was not into that yet. He became violent and told me I was a prick tease. We must have been loud because the neighbors called the cops. They came and asked me if I wanted to press charges. I told them no but asked them to take him to the bus station and make sure he left town. They did. I never heard from him again. I did see him once about 3 yrs. later in my hometown. I was with my Grandmother in her car. We were stopped at a red light and he walked across the street and saw me. He didn't speak, just stared. From that I also learned that when they say give me another chance, it means give me another chance to fuck you over. Leopard's spots don't change and neither do people's.If they will hit you once they will do it again. I decided that night on the floor of my rented kitchen that I was not going to be anyone's victim. I would rather live under a bridge than let someone abuse me and all the while say they love me. Bullshit!


Monday, June 18, 2007

Weekend Update

Ok so the mullet has left the state! He was here on a job interview and after 2 1/2 days of being with the guy he still has no answer as to if he got the job or not. Probably the mullet! He is a very nice guy though. He trimmed up some tree limbs in the back yard then he mowed. he fixed my lawn mower as well. He is really handy so I hope he gets the job and wants to come visit again. he lives in Arizona and says he has no grass or trees at all so my backyard was a paradise for him.I worked a little bit this weekend seeing a few patients. I also went to a festival downtown. Keep Austin Weird festival. They had a costume contest and no I didn't take any pictures! I know, devil! Why not? Bob Schneider sang. I love him. There was a nice crowd but not crowed. It cost $15 to get in so that could have been a factor. I didn't know it would cost so much if anything so I only brought $20. I had enough to get in and get some Amy's Ice cream. So, Bob, Amy's chocolate ice cream and a warm summer evening in the park. Not too shabby!


Thursday, June 14, 2007


Ok y'all guess which organization this is speaking of:

have been accused of spousal abuse

have been arrested for fraud

have been accused of writing bad checks
have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

have done time for assault

71 cannot

get a credit card due to bad credit
have been arrested on drug-related charges
have been arrested for shoplifting

are defendants in lawsuits, and

have been arrested for drunk driving
the last year

you guess which organization this is?

up yet? . . . Scroll down,


it's the 535 members of the United
States Congress.
same group of Idiots that crank out
hundreds of new laws each year
designed to keep the rest of us in line.


Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Linda and the Mullet

Okay, so many of you know that back in November of last year I moved my cousin Linda in with me. It has, for the most part, been a blast to say the least. She is the complete and total opposite of me. Where I am liberal she is conservative, where she likes likes all things country and western I like things city and modern. We get along like a house on fire but sometimes she makes me laugh so hard. Take for example the guest she has staying with us right now. Her best friend who came to visit a couple of months back(the one who was smoking in the house)anyways, her husband is in town. He came in yesterday and she asked me yesterday if he could stay over last night. He came in for a job interview which she thought was for yesterday but now the interview is for today instead so it looks like he will be staying at least another night. He is a very nice guy and I like him ok. It's just that y'all he has a mullet and it is silver! A silver mullet! He is not a bad looking guy to tell the truth and he is probably not even in his 40's. I remember the wife saying he was younger than her and she is in her mid forties. But the mullet, hello! Nobody wears those things anymore, do they?He is from Arizona so maybe out there it is different. He is all business in the front and party in the back. I wanted so bad to laugh out loud when I saw him. And I can't wait for him to leave so I can tease Linda about it because I know with her conservative ways she is already appalled by the sheer length of the hair. Come to think of it she kind of has a mullet hairdo! My lesbian friend Beth says she thinks Linda is gay and just don't know it.I don't think she is gay but she is definitely a tomboy. Has been all her life. The thought of going shopping with a bunch of girls or sitting around talking recipes or fat thighs is not her cup of tea. She is more comfortable being with the guys and watching the game or work on the car/truck. She loves John Wayne and thinks George Clooney is the sexiest man alive. But she drives a Ford pickup truck and goes to a lot of softball games! Maybe she is like me asexual! I mean, if you ain't getting it then it don't matter who you ain't getting it from does it?


Tuesday, June 12, 2007

A Dog Story

Anyone who has pets will really like this. You'll like it even if you don't and you may even decide you need one!

Mary and her husband Jim had a dog named 'Lucky.'
Lucky was a real character. Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a week end visit they would warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably, someone would forget and something would come up missing.

Mary or Jim would go to Lucky's toy box in the basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky's other favorite toys. Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular that his toys stay in the box.

It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer.
Something told her she was going to die of this fact, she was just sure it was fatal. She scheduled the double mastectomy, fear riding her shoulders.

The night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled with Lucky. A thought struck her...what would happen to Lucky? Although the three-year-old dog liked Jim, he was Mary's dog through and through. If I die, Lucky will be abandoned, Mary thought. He won't understand that I didn't want to leave him. The thought made her sadder than thinking of her own death.

The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors had anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two weeks. Jim took Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the little dog just drooped, whining and miserable.

Finally the day came for Mary to leave the hospital.
When she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she couldn't even make it up the steps to her bedroom. Jim made his wife comfortable on the couch and left her to nap. Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn't come to her when she called. It made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame her and she dozed.

When Mary woke, for a second she couldn't understand what was wrong. She couldn't move her head and her body felt heavy and hot. But panic soon gave way to laughter when Mary realized the problem. She was covered, literally blanketed, with every treasure Lucky owned! While she had slept, the sorrowing dog had made trip after trip to the basement bringing his beloved mistress all his favorite things in life. He had covered her with his love.

Mary forgot about dying. Instead she and Lucky began living again, walking further and further together every day. It's been 12 years now and Mary is still cancer-free. Lucky? He still steals treasures and stashes them in his toy box but Mary remains his greatest treasure.

Remember.... Live every day to the fullest. Each minute is a blessing from God. And never forget....the people who make a difference in our lives are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care for us.

If you see someone without a smile today give them one of yours!

Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.


Friday, June 08, 2007

Fabulous! How are you?

One of the things I do here at my job is customer service. Actually that is a big part of my job. I have to make people happy. The patients,doctors and their office staff, the nurses in the field, the family members of the patients, and anyone else who may happen to call with a complaint! Today is already starting out to be a doozy! I love when the phone rigs and it starts with " My mother is out of her heart medicine and I want to know what you are going to do about it!" Good morning to you too!Put that fire out and get the next call. "I want to complain about the home health aide who comes out and helps with my bath" Ok fixed that one up, next! "Yeh, I'm not gonna be able to see Mrs. Jackson, my car won't start!" "Hey Mary, can you go out to see Willie B. he isn't feeling too good and I don't have another nurse to see him today?" "You have a call holding on lines 2 and 3"Calgon take me away! Job security people! And let's not forget the talker who can't do shit without talking it over with me!

I am going to Dallas in the morning. I thought it would happen this evening but I don't think I will be able to get out of here before 6 or 7 tonight. I hate driving in the dark. I have night blindness! My nephew is out of the ICU. He is feeling much better. They took the tubes out and he had a real shower, and put on real clothes. He wants real food. He just wants to be a real boy! It looks like it is an ulcer that just eroded and when he started vomiting it tore causing the bleed! I am so sure the stress of that job is astronomical! He is such a sweet guy too.I hope to get out of town by 8am tomorrow. I gotta go answer that call now break time is over! I hope everyone has a nice weekend and stays cool. It was in the 90's here yesterday and the heat index was 107. I hate those dang heat index reports! Why make us feel hotter?


Wednesday, June 06, 2007

The Cop

My cousin Tammie lives in Dallas(don't all Tammies live in Dallas?)She has a son,her baby boy, who is a policeman. He is very good at this job and is always getting awards and commendations. He was teaching a class to some ladies on self defense over the weekend and he was dressed up like a bad guy with the padding on so they could practice their moves on him. Anyways, after the class he came over to Tammie's house and was complaining of his abdomen being sore. That night he got nauseated and started throwing up blood. By the next morning he was still complaining of pain to the gut and was still throwing up bright red blood and clots as well. They took him to the hospital and he is in ICU now. They scoped him and found a tear in his esophagus. Dang! I spoke with her this morning and they had taken the tube out of his nose and he was taking juice and jello in small amounts. If he continues to be stable they will move him to the floor. I told Tammie that once he hits the floor she will need to make sure someone is with him at all times. The ratio of nurse to patient is unsafe in any hospital on the floor. I am planning on going up there as soon as I get off work on Friday. He is my favorite "nephew".I guess the moral to this story is do not piss off a Texas woman, she will kick your ass! HE SAID HE WAS PROUD OF HIS LADIES!


Tuesday, June 05, 2007

16 Things

Sixteen things it took me over 50 years to learn: by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. No body cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (This one is very important)

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes; and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.


Monday, June 04, 2007

Monday Report

Well, I have been busy today at the "w" today. The talker is out having tests done for her impending surgical procedure. My weekend was fast and fun filled. I got up early on Saturday morning(6:30) and met up with Nancy at Sam's Club. She is a secret shopper and had to do a visit there before we left. We went to Wimberly which is a little village in the hill country. They have a market day every first Saturday of the month. They have venders from all over the area. There were a lot of antiques and just old junk too. But there were also a lot of old estate jewelry. Lots of brooches which I love so much. I ended up buying only one and was proud of myself for that! I got several plants. Really nice ones; 2 cactus and 1 desert rose,and another some kind of succulent. Hopefully, I won't kill them off too fast! We got there about 8:30am and stayed until just after 11:30 AM.My friend, Nic who lives in Wimberly, came out to see us and went around with us.

From there I came back home and put on my bathing suit and went to Jana's for an afternoon pool party for one of the girl's;Lois' birthday. I got her a shiny ring and a coca-cola cake. She is a cokaholic and I felt it was fitting for her birthday cake to be made out of coke. It was delicious. It is like fudge with nuts and a chocolate cake underneath!She also got a float for the pool that was rainbow colored. It sits up high out of the water and Jana said she wouldn't like it because it sits so high. I told her it wouldn't sit so high for me! LOL!I left there about 4:30pm.

I went out to dinner with my friend Ricky who is in from Fort Worth. We ate with my friend Annie and her new hubby who just bought a house not 1/4 mile from me! We ate at this place up in the north part of town called Amaya's Taco Village and believe me when I say they make the bast tacos in town.They make their own corn tortillas and they are nice and thick and so very yummy! I was so full by the time we got ready to leave I was ready for a nap before bedtime! I was invited to a house warming party later on that night but I was exhausted and was in bed by 9pm! OLD LADY!!

Sunday, I got up and started doing chores like swiffering the floors and attacking the pile of laundry in the laundry room! Dooley helped by chewing some crotches out of some panties that fell out of the basket! He is so thoughtful that way! Less to wash I say! I mainly watched TV all afternoon because it was so hot and humid I couldn't go out in the back yard to mess with anything. I watched the whole Star Wars episodes. Not the new ones but the original ones with Luke and Han Solo! It was great but they had all been changed I guess by Lucas himself. The Empire Strikes Back(my favorite) was missing the part where Luke gets away from the Ice Monster. I thought he slid down something to get away but he just kills the thing and then he is outside! Maybe I remembered wrong! In The Return of the Jedi there are extra charcaters in the Jabba scenes and at the end when Obi-Wan and Yoda are looking over Luke now Annikin from the other stories is there as well.And in the Star Wars one the scenes with Jabba in the hanger and also some extra critters in the bar scene and the town scape too!

Anyways, last night about 9pm we got a really intense thunderstorm. Over 3500 lightening strikes in 1 hour. We lost power for about 10 minutes.Just long enough to find the candles and flashlight and get them all going. The big dogs were freaking out big time.Osa tried to get underneath me and I was sitting down on the couch. Chula just jumped on top of me like a big old lap dog! I swear they are such big babies!

Now, my cousin is calling me from Dallas to say her son, the policeman, is in the intensive care unit throwing up blood. He taught a self defense course over the weekend to some ladies and he was dressed up in the body armour for when they clobber you and I guess he taught them well because she said he was coplaining of abdominal pain right after the course! Do not piss off a Texas woman she will kick your ass! I am hoping he is alright because he is one of the sweetest guys you would ever know!

This post is getting long and my phoe keeps ringing and I keep ignoring it!


Friday, June 01, 2007

Hooray for the Weekend

I am so looking forward to the weekend.It is beautiful here in Central Texas and tomorrow is market days in Wimberly! I am going out there in the morning. It is a lovely drive thru ranch country. I will take some photos along the way so y'all can see some Texas ranch country.After wards, I will meet up with my good friend Nic. She is a nurse who lives in Wimberly.She and I worked together years ago in the recovery room. She is from Wales! I have so much fun with her.

Once I leave Wimberly (with something in tow for Cazzie), I am heading back into town to my friend Jana's house for a pool party for Lois'(clit)birthday.I am bringing the cake. Should be a fun time with drinks and lots of laughter all around.

Then it will be off to have dinner at the best taco place in town. My good friend Ricky is in from Fort Worth and we have a lot of catching up to do! And that is just Saturday! Sunday will be a chore day around the house and I will see a couple of patients too. Hope everyone has a great weekend.


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