Rules of Austin

1. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Austin has its own set of traffic rules. There's no book about them. All you can do is get in your car and hope you survive to learn them.

2 . All directions start with "Go down Mopac...'cause you don't want to get on I-35."

3. Burnet Road, Braker Lane , and Lamar Blvd. have no beginning and no end.

4. It is impossible to go around a block and wind up on the same street that you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls this a scenic drive.

5. The 8:00am rush hour is from 6:30am to 9:30am. The 5:00pm rush hour is from 3:30pm to 7:15pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, then you cannot be from Austin . You may only apply your brakes when the end of a yellow light and the beginning of the red light create a burnt-orange hue. This is Longhorn Country, after all.

7. If you like being an individual, don't even think of working for Dell. You'll be branded like cattle and made to walk all over town with your Dell Tag around your neck or clipped on to your belt loop. Ninety-eight percent of the people within a 200 mile radius work for Dell. When someone says "Michael Dell", Dell employees are trained to face Round Rock, hit their knees, put their face to the ground,
weep, and rock back and forth.

8. Just remember that Mopac is Loop 1; Capital of Texas Hwy is 360; and U.S.183 is Research Blvd. , Anderson Lane, Ed Bluestein Blvd. and Old Bastrop Hwy; 2222 is Northland Dr. or Allendale Rd. or Koenig Lane. Don't try to figure it out. Just accept it. If you question the intelligence behind this naming convention, people will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you.

9. If moisture is determined to be rain, and not sweat, all traffic must immediately come to a screeching halt; ditto for a female UT student applying eye-shadow across the street, or a flat tire three lanes over.

10. DO NOT attempt to access any road during an apocalyptic event like snow or SXSW (South by Southwest Music Convention) or the ACL Fest or any one of the myriad running marathons held in Austin each year. Construction on I-35 AND U.S. 183 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. Get used to it!

11. Attn: All telephone solicitors...DO NOT correct my pronunciation when I say I live in Manchaca , TX . It's pronounced MAN-chack. Also realize that the city of Manchaca (MANchack) is in Hays and Travis Counties , and there is also a very long street in Austin named Manchaca (MANchack)! The city of Manor and Manor Rd. are pronounced 'MAY-ner'. We don't like corrections on that either. And, for God's sake, DON'T pronounce the 'E' at the end of Guadalupe. It's Gwada-LOOP and we like it that way!

12. Burnet Road is pronounced BURN-it, not Bur-NET. Koenig Lane is pronounced KAE-nig not KOE-nig. The old airport (Robert Mueller) is pronounced Robert Miller and is on Airport Boulevard . The new airport (Austin-Bergstrom) is no where near Airport Boulevard . It's in the city of Del Valle pronounced Dell Valley !

13. Keep in mind that the sloppily dressed 'hippie' in worn-out sandals and earrings is probably the latest IPO millionaire
around here.

14. Stay away from the Congress Ave. bridge at sundown if you do not like the thought of being in an Alfred Hitchcock movie. (Largest Mexican Free Tail Bat Population in the US )

15. And, yes, we all know that there's a man in a teddy and a tiara on Congress Ave. It's Leslie and he probably makes more money than you do. (Surely, you have a homeless, celebrity drag queen that likes to run for Mayor where you live, too, right?)

**Now you won't have to wonder why there are so many bumper stickers that say 'Keep Austin Weird'!

Middle Name MEME

Here's how it works I get to state a random fact about myself using the letters of my middle name. Theresa. Yes, i know Mary Theresa! A good Catholic girl name! Yep, that's me alright! I was named for 2 aunts. Now you know why I was called Poody in the family everyone's name is Mary! LOL!

T-two! I have 2 big dogs that are sisters, Osa and Chula (spanish for bear and sweetie) They are half rottweiler and half german shephard. They will be 9 yrs. old this October and they are the best dogs EVER!

H-House! I love my house so much I have bought it 3 times now! LOL I kept refinancing it till I got the interest rate and the years to pay on it to what I wanted!

E-Elvis! I love Elvis! When I was a kid I used to go to the movies to see him. I never cared that much for his music because it was old fashioned when I was a teenager. But, then when I was 16 yrs. old I saw him in Vegas and let me just tell you I saw the light folks! He was so wonderful and charismatic! I became a faithful follower! I celbrate every year for my birthday by going to the Elvis tribute show at the Continental Club! His birthday is 3 days after mine! Yep, he is a Capricorn, me, Elvis, and jesus! hello, can it get any better than that! Hell to the NO!

R-Rocks. I have a rock collection. I have had it since I was a kid. I collect rocks from every new place I go. I have river rocks, mountain rocks, sacred rocks, well, you get the idea. No, none of them are polished!

E-Eat! I love love love to eat! That is probably why I am so fat right now! LOL I have been on this stupid diet for the last 7 weeks though and I am managing to lose some weight and eat things I like. Thank you Dr. Atkins!

S-Social. I am a very social person. I have a lot of friends and I love every one of them! I would so not make it as a hermit! I get by with a little help from my friends!

A-Ambedextrious! I use both hands depending on what I am doing. Like, for example, I write and eat with my left hand as well as start IV's or draw blood.Anything that requires fine finger movement. But, my right hand I use for things like bowling, batting, or anything else that requires strength. It has always been that way. I can reverse the things I do but they don't come out as well. I never learned to crochet because my Grandmother tried to teach me using my right hand.

Weekend Update Again

Wow! I am so busy at work that I do not have enough time to fuck off and post anything new! How rude! Hopefully, help is on the way! I hope everyone had a great weekend. I know I did! I got up early Saturday morning to go see some AM diabetics. You know ,go roust them out of bed, make sure they stay awake long enough to eat some breakfast, check their blood sugars, give them the insulin dose and say goodbye. One of them I fix breakfast for. I mean it entails throwing something in the microwave or else preparing a bowl of cereal for her as she is blind. I also had one other lady to see that morning too.
Once I was through with my visits I rushed home to pick up Dooley and then off I went with another nurse I work with and her teenage daughter to Nancy's housewarming party in Bruceville/Eddy about 100 miles north of here. Nancy is my nurse friend I got Dooley from. Her website can be found in my sidebar. She has a lot of new puppies! I got to pet them all! Dooley had such a good time. We had steaks she cooked out on the grill and spent the entire day hanging out in her beautiful backyard! She told me she thought I didn't like her little house because I stayed in the back yard the whole time! I couldn't help it! I love it so! The day was hot but not unbearable! You know the Texas sun! If not then let me tell you it is HOT!!!My friend Linda and her dauhgter Jenny that went with me also have a weenie dog from Nancy, her name is Chloe,she is a chocolate weenie! They ended taking a little longhair black and tan male home with them! I so wanted another one to but I was good! No playmate for Dooley yet! We still have the ancient cocker spaniel to look after!
Sunday I slept till 2:30pm.! I didn't get home form the party till after midnight but 2:30! Jeeze! I slept so long that my back hurt when I got up! I wasn't worth a damn the rest of the day.My cousin came home after spending the night at my aunt's out in Wimberly to find me lounging on the couch watching TV in my gown. In fact, I never got out of my gown all day yesterday. I never even bathed yesterday!How lazy is that? I did brush my teeth and wash my face but that was it!I went back to bed under the pretense of watching Family Guy which was a season premiere and funny as hell, hope you saw it! I was asleep again by 9:30pm! What a lazy butt! And today I am tired and ready to go home and get in the bed again! I think I may have chronic fatigue sysdrome and no one can prove i don't! LOL
I do have some chores that have to be done today! My house is too messy! I need to do laundry as well. I have no clean drawers to wear tomorrow and I do not fancy going commando, so to speak!
I got the new revised edition of Counting Crows; August and Everything After. It is a 2 disc cd with the original Cd on the first disc along with 6 unpublished songs. Some of them are demos of published songs and the other disc is of a live performance in Paris France, not Texas! They have a new CD coming out in November and since they are my all time very favorite band in the world I am gearing up to be in a Counting Crows bubble! Finally Nutini got out of my cd player!So, what did you do this weekend? Anything fun?
I have been having dreams about the Rat bastard. For the last 4 nights, he has haunted my dreams which is weird because I hardly ever think of him anymore but now he is in every dream I have! So annoying! I have no idea what that is all about because some of the dreams are sexual but mostly not just he and I doing odd assortments of things together! It almost makes me not want to go to sleep! I said almost! Ha! I love sleep too much for that! Maybe if I could kill him in a dream...

I SUrvived AUstin City Limits Festival !

WOW! What a great weekend I had! I went to the 6th annual Austin City Limits Festival on the 14th,15th, and 16th. I had to take yesterday off to rest up!There were 65,ooo people there. There were 130 bands,8 stages, a record store, tons of local food booths, watering stations,local artists wares for sale,a massive amount of lawn chairs,parasols, hats, crazy t-shirts,and various bathing suits. I even saw a guy in a leopard print mini skirt with no underpants! Ewhh!

Where shall I begin? I guess at the begininng! We got there Friday afternoon hoping to catch a bit of Pete Yorn but unknown to us and a few thousand other concert goers there was a fire over by his stage and it shut the whole festival down. They made him quit playing and cleared that area, brought in the fire trucks and closed the gates to incoming people. We got stuck at the clusterfuck that ensued trying to get into the festival. It took us over 30 minutes of standing,shoving, and shuffling to get into the grounds. Once in we immediately sat down under the shade of the first tree we saw! I have bad knees and while walking is intermediate exercise for me standing is a killer! While we sat there a band started to play on the stage closest to us. John Ralston, he was very good! Then we made our way to catch the last of Joss Stone. Also very good! That gal can SANG I tell ya !While wating to hear Spoon we listened to a chick who looked Indian, sounded british and sang hip hop, pop music called M.I.A.She was alright. Not my kind of music though. Next up was one of my favorite bands, Spoon. They have been around a long time. They are from here and with the release of this last album I am thinking they are no longer an Austin secret! The sun was setting just as they came out to play and it was a lovely set! After hearing Spoon we walked over to catch some of The Mighty Clouds Of Joy! An all black gospel blues band that rocked the house! I have never had so much fun praising Jesus! We also caught a little bit of this band called The Gotan Project. They were trippy! Then on to hear some of the Kaiser Chiefs who also rocked. Rev. Horton Heat was likewise rocking the house and we shook booty there for a few songs before making our way to hear The Killers. Bjork was playing on the other side of the park and from what I could hear she was strange! Killers ruled the night!After a long afternoon and evening of music and walking we made our way back to the car and home to shower and rest up!

The next day was Saturday and we set out to hear more great music. Got there around 1 p.m. It was hot 90 degrees and the sun was blaring! We caught the last half of Dax Riggs who was very good. I had never heard of him but really enjoyed his set. Then it was tme for Paulo Nutini. It was a great concert! He is so fucking cute it is too much! It was so hot sitting there in the sun with no shade at all. The name of the stage was AMD which I am convinced stood for Almost Made me Die! I wanted to go and get Paulo's autograph in the nearby Waterloo Records store but the line was forever long and I desparately needed shade of some kind. We found it in the form of a little tree where we sat down to cool off and relax. While sitting there we heard a band from Nashville called Trent Summer and the New Row Mob. They were what I call Rockabilly. Very good indeed! Also while sitting there a golf cart whizzed by and came to a full stop in front of us and who was on the cart but Paulo! I was so starstruck that all I could do was stare and holler Nutini over and over again! He just looked at me and started laughing! I am sure it was a strange site indeed! Then we garnered up enough strength to catch Stephen Marley (son of Bob). After that we listened to a little bit of Damien Rice then it was time to head home. An early night for us but I tell ya the 3 hours in the sun did me in for real!

The next day I was seriously debating going back or not! You have to be a real trouper to hang in there I tell ya! But Deb showed up around 4 p.m. and away we went. Now, the day was a nice one not too hot only around 88 degrees with a nice little breeze ever once in a while but that sun is still hot enough to draw a sweat bead or two for sure! We walked past Patterson Hood jamming out on our way to see and hear Amos Lee who by the way was one of my favorite shows! He is so good I am gonna be buying his CD today! Then we saw My Morning Jacket and a little bit of The Jazz Preservation Band from New Orleans while waiting for Ziggy Marley(son of Bob) to start up. He jammed out the little tent he was in! Not sure why he was playing such a small venue but the crowd was huge! Next up was The Decemberists which I know a lot of people like but I am not really one of those people. They were ok,but I am not running out to buy their record anytime soon! The event was topped off by a performance by Bob Dylan and his band! It was a huge event and lots of people stayed to hear him. There was a big Jumbotron but no close up shots of Dylan which must have been in his contract because we saw close ups of the band members but no Bob! It reminded me of Futurama where all the famous people are still alive but only their heads! LOL! His voice was cracking too. He had sang the night before at Stubbs' so I am guessing he used it all up then! We left the grounds happy and spent! I was tore up from the floor up!

Yesterday, I took the day off to regroup and relax. I started out with a nice breakfast of Migas with my dear friend Pam who had come down with her boyfriend, daughter and her friend for the Sunday show from Tulsa Oklahoma! After seeing them off I took my car to be washed,waxed,buffed,spiffed up and smelling nice! Then I went for an hour massage! Getting the kinks worked out was heavenly! Thank you Delia! Then I went to the gym and got in the hot tub to further pamper my tired muscles! After showering and feeling rejuvenated I took a car trip to Lockhart for the best BBQ in the world! I got it to go and came back to share with my cousin Linda. We feasted on Brisket, ribs, and pork chops! An Atkins dieters dream meal! After that I was in bed by 8p.m. and never woke up til 6a.m. this morning!

Now I am back at the "w" and things are status quo! Only 3 more days after today til the weekend but I am planning on working this weekend so we will see what the future brings! Hope everyone else had a good weekend but if you weren't with me you didn't have as much fun as me!

I am so Excited

I am at work and I cannot wait for the day to be over! I have my gear laid out, my schedule made up. I even know what kind of food they are selling and where the booths I want to eat from! I just found out that after Paolo Nutini's show he will be signing autographs! I am so gonna go get a signature and a picture with me! I am in such a Paolo bubble right now I cannot tell you! Him and Spoon are my favorites this summer! If you haven't heard either one of these artists then I can't even talk to you! OHHHHH! I have a new hat with a huge brim to cover my shoulders. I am going after work to get myself a soft sided cooler on wheels. I have one of those foldaway chairs and a parasol! OMG! This is the lineup for me:
Friday-Pete Yorn,Joss Stone,Spoon,and The Killers!
Saturday-Raul Malo,Paolo Nutini,Blue October,Damien Rice,and Muse or Arcade Fire not sure which one of them yet!
Sunday-Charlie Musselwhite,Amos Lee,Wilco,,The Decemberist, Bob Dylan!
Doesn't that sound wonderful?
Don't be hating! You can go to the Austin City Limits website and get information on how you can get a webcast going! And start making plan now for your trip here next year! I got my tickets in march before I even knew the lineup! It is always be someone you like! There are over 130 bands this year alone! Gotta go back to the "w" and try to get it all done so I can go have a life!

I hate Mondays

Ok, so I get to work this morning and all hell has broke loose. I was out in the field on friday so the big dogs were in charge of the office and it is a mess. Seems the Medicare surveyor showed up for a surprise visit. I am thankful to have missed that! The administrator took care of that, but my job is very complicated and multi-tasking is the theme. I have so many things up in the air at all times and one little thing getting missed can upset the apple cart so to speak. I am trying to fix things now but am taking a break to blog and clear my head.
I went to a party Friday night for my good friend Polly who lives in New Mexico, her daughter Madison turned 19. She wanted us to all meet up with her at Trudy's ( local restaurant) but she got kicked out trying to get a free margarita with her fake ID! LOL! We call her a baby clit in training. So, in true clit fashion Jana, Gail, and I head over with vodka and party makings to her house. We get there and her and her roommate are there with 7 guys(most of whom are from New Mexico).I was so proud of her! They are sitting around trying to have a good time. Well, of course, wherever the clits go there is always a party to be had. Connie showed up around 8:30 or so and we ended up having a very fun night with all the younsters.Of course they did! Hell, we know how to party. How sad is it when 20 somethings have to look to the old farts to get down and party?
Saturday morning I had to get up and see my early morning diabetics. I was done with all that by 10am and ready to get on with my day. I swept and mopped the kitchen and living room and with that done did a load or 2 of laundry and then set out to Jana's house where we left to go out to the boonies to look at this little shop that sells mexican imported stuff. She got a stand to hold her gazing ball and I looked at a glass face that was way cool but ended up not getting it! When we got back to town I dropped her off and headed back to the house. It was 100 degrees at least so I went inside and took a shower and then put on my gown and was in bed asleep by 8pm! SAD!!
Sunday I woke up at 12:15pm Sleep much? My eyes were swollen from so much sleep but man did I feel good. I went over to Jana's house again where she ,Jan, and Lois were in the pool. We have to plan a party for another clit,Gail. She is truning 50 in October. She wants to see a drag show but lo and behold there are none in this town! WHAT??? So, we have decided that if it is a drag show she wants it is a drag show she will get. We are all gonna dress in drag and put on a show. I wil ask a few of my gay male friends if they want to participate. I need to find a male stripper who will dress in drag and lipsynch while stripping. Shoudn't be too hard to find huh? After planning and floating in the pool for the better part of the afternoon, Jana and I went back out to the boonies to get that mask I was telling you about. Too cool!
This morning is shaping up to be a pretty suck ass day but it will end eventually I know! I am so excited about the ACL fes t this weekend it is all I can do to just pay attention. Break's over gotta get back to it!

Weekend Update

Ok so I am back from the boonies! I do mean boonies too! I was so far back in the woods I swear I couldn't get cell phone service. Connie has a cabin off in the woods down by the Red River. I left work Friday afternoon and went to Dallas. I got to Dallas about 8:15pm. It was dusk and the light was poor. I am wicked night blind to begin with and I got off on the wrong road and ended up in the worst part of Dallas proper! I wondered around until I saw something familiar(the square Kennedy was killed in)and managed to get back up on the freeway. Dallas roads are huge (6 lanes) and very fast. There are all kind of veer offs and turn offs and what have ya!I finally made it to Connie's apartmant about 10:30pm. We sat up talking until 1am. We got up the next morning went to breakfast and then to the grocery store for essentials and then back to her place to pack everything up, get her puppy, and then off to Paris.
We got to Paris around 3:30 pm, pulled into her Mom's house to drop off said puppy and then out to the boonies. We get there and there are a lot of people out there in the other cabins. Let me stop here to explain about the cabin. it sits a on a little lot surrounded by other cabins. it was her Daddy's hunting/fishing camp. But mainly, everyone just comes down to party and get away from everythig. What happens at the cabin stays at the cabin! Some of the folks who had been there a while were cooking brisket and ribs and we got invited for dinner right off the bat. We fixed a couple of drinks Raspberry vodka and diet cherry 7-up Yummy! The brisket was tender and the ribs fell off the bone. Then it was on to the drinking. Some friends from Longview came down to visit and we had a blast. I never saw my friend Connie so drunk and I have known her since junior high! She was trying to make speeches and all I could do was laugh my ass off at her.
After everyone left the cabin for the night I went to find my overnight bag only to realize we never put it in the car! I had to go to bed with no clean panties and a dirty mouth. The next morning we woke up to the sound and smell of nature and my stinky breath! Connie had a headache! Wonder why? We had to drive into to Oklahoma to the Walmart store for clean panties and a toothbrush!
When we got back the camp was quiet with everyone either napping or off fishing. We went in to lay down for a while and when we woke up everyone was back and a friend I have known since 5th grade came out to visit. I had a couple of drinks but nothing too drastic. Connie had 1 drink and she was done drinking for the night.LOL We are such wimps. I enjoyed the visit with Patti my childhood friend. She looked almost the same as when we were in high school except for gray hair and a few wrinkles around the eyes.
We got up and came back to Dallas the next morning and I got home yesterday afternoon about 4pm. I was glad to be back and spent the afternoon with the dogs and laundry!
Now I am back at work and actually I have to go to the dentist right now to get a cleaning! Bye for now!