Sad Christmas

I got a new laptop because my computer died finally. I nhave to work tomorrow morning but it's all good. I will get double time time so for about 2 hrs. work I will make around $300.My cousin,Linda has gone to Houston to be with her family for the holidays. Today is a beautiful day 70 degrees. The sad news is my cousin,Tammie who lives in Dallas lost her youngest son on Dec.12th.He was 29 yrs.old and was a policeman in the Dallas area. He took his own life with a gunshot wound to the chest. He left a note but it was so messed it didn't really make any sense but then should it?He was a wonderful guy.He has a 2 yr old daughter who lives with her mother.They were separated.He was my favorite kid too. He was always so nice and my cousin Tammie idolized him. He was her favorite child. She has been through so much this past year. She finally got out of a bad marriage but her other son and daughter had taken the dad's side and are not in touch with her at all and get this,they did not go to the funeral. Neither did the ex husband, his own father. that is fucked up big time. Thankfully, she has met a wonderful man who loves her very much and he paid for the funeral as the ex refused to pay a dime as he said. How can someone do that?There were a lot of police present at the funeral which is awesome since he was buried in Paris which is about 100 miles north of Dallas.I have just not been able to get in the spirit since then. My arthritis has been very bad too. Today, not so bad but on those cold wet dreary days I am in a world of pain. I have been eating a lot of junk food mostly chocolate but other crap as well.Guess that is my way of dealing. Stuff it downSo,here I sit eating chili fritos and smoking cigarettes!