Dammit Dooley!

Ok, so you know I have a little weenie dog,Dooley. Or as we like to call him Double D for Dammit Dooley! He is a sweet little guy but he has a passion for crotches. Any kind will do. Clean ones,dirty ones, fresh out of the pack never been worn ones,jeans ones,pajama ones...well you get the picture. In fact, when my cousin,Linda, moved in he was about 6 months old. She had just bought a brand new pair of jeans ,worn one time. She had thrown them up on a chair in her room. She washed and dried them and when she went to put them on... yep, he had eaten the whole entire crotch out. He knows it is wrong but it is like crack cocaine to him. He physically cannot stop himself from partaking in the crotch. So,as we like to say Around here a clean crotched pair of panties is a scarce and wonderful thing.

He is housetrained but sometimes, for reasons we cannot possibly understand he will just take a dump at the foot of your bed. No reason, just thought he would run in and leave you a little sumpin'!

Anyways, the other day I am out running the roads visiting my patients when I see Linda has called me. I call her back and she says have you listened to your messages. No I say what's up? Just listen to the message she tells me. So, I am driving down the raod and listening to the message and she says We are having bbq weenie tonight! When I came out of the bathroom from my shower, he had shat in front of my bed and I smeared it all over the floor with my freshly washed foot. {I had heard her Dammit Dooley this morning myself}. She said she cleaned it up and her jeans were draped over the bed half on and half off the bed. She reached down and put them on and went to work. This is all around 7am. Very rushed and well... you know. She said around 10 am she was going back out to her truck and reached in her pocket to pull out her keys and pulled out 2 turds instead! MMMWHHHAAAA! hahahahahahahahah! I had to pull over on the side of the road I was laughing so hard! So, I call her and say {laughing my ass off as well} so when you pulled those turds out of your pocket did you just start laughing or what? And she says , hell no, I didn't start laughing I was holding 2 turds in my hand! OMG! I almost pissed myself right then and there! She says now whenever someone is bitching about their job or day all she has to say is hey, did you pull 2 turds outta your pocket? Because if you didn't pull 2 turds out of your pocket then you didn't have as shitty of a day as I have had! I say she gives new meaning to the term Hot Pockets! I had to call her later and ask if she had change for 2 turds in her pocket! She told me I was just being shitty! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!