Thursday, October 18, 2007

The Most Functional Word In the English Language

Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.


You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and
tell others to eat shit.


Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit
and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse
shit, and chicken shit.



You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the
shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days
are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when
you feel like shit.


You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a
lot of weird shit.


You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek
without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a
bucket of shit
and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the
English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a
shit!

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go.
Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day,
without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some
shit-head...........
Well, Shit Happens!!!

--------------------oOo--------------------

7 Comments:

Blogger Lynda said...

Shit, that's funny!

9:30 AM  
Blogger Mz.Elle said...

Teehee!
I loved that;)

10:03 AM  
Blogger Crushed said...

I get this shit, even though I have shit for brains.

I suppose it means, language doesn't mean shit.

1:48 PM  
Blogger Steph said...

Well said.

8:39 PM  
Blogger Cyndy said...

I got this one as an email. It's certainly clever shit!

5:15 AM  
Blogger Bo... said...

I LOVE IT!

(And that shit totally cheered me up for the entire day---in fact, I may print it out and take it to my co-workers to help them out with the usual Monday morning blues....)

8:03 AM  
Blogger Mike Minzes said...

Great post!

12:02 PM  

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