2 year anniversary

It has been 2 years since the Rat Bastard was caught cheating and lying to me. I am still mending the broken heart he left me with. After today only 323 more days to go before I get over him. That is, if the whole it will take 1000 days to get over him theory works. This past weekend I went thru the room of pain and found some of his stuff in there ;like old pictures of him and his family when he was a kid that sort of stuff and old letters and cards that he had saved over the years. I did not throw them out. I took them and placed them in a container and set it out on the front porch. Now, I just have to figure out a way for him to be notified of them being out there without me actually having to call him and risk him picking up the phone. I want him to have the stuff but I do not want to talk to him about it. I wish I had his email address so I could just email him and tell him to come and get his stuff. I guess I have been a little on edge this whole past week and today because of the time of year and all. I so want this to just be over and am mad at myself for not being over it after 2 years! What is with me anyways? I want to not be alone but I don't want to date. I cannot even imagine a date with someone at this point in my life. I am just now being ok with who I am.
When my friend came to help me clean out that room one of the things she did was move the furniture around in the living room and she put the couch in the same spot that it sat for so very long while he lived here. I am still not ok with it although spatially it works. The way I had it made the room smaller and hard to get around but I swear it makes me feel uneasy sitting there on the same couch albeit with a different cover in the same spot where we sat side by side each and every night.I know, see what I mean ?I am perserverating on something that is so long gone it ain't even funny people and still I cannot move forward and put it behind me. No matter how hard I try, I miss him! FUCKING shit! And that pisses me off to no end! I do not want to miss him. I don't want to wonder if he misses me. I do not want to think about him at all! Ok ,I am gonna climb off of my pity pot now and go empty it hopefully for good! Yeah, right!