Doing Something Nice for Me
I took yesterday off as a mental health day. I have a little bit of a problem with being alone. I hate going home to an empty house. It depresses me so much. I also have problems with being out in public alone too. Like say eating in a restaurant or going to a movie. Today I decided to meet those demons head on and I went out to eat by myself. I went to Katz' which is a restaurant that serves New York deli style food. I bought a newspaper and sat there and had a lovely lunch. I then went to the movies to see Little Miss Sunshine which was way funny by the way. I felt ok coming out of the movies but I think it was because it was still daylight. I am not ready to get out and go home to a dark empty house yet. I just feel uncomfortable in public and actually feel uncomfortable at home too. I am so sick of my house being all upside down and in such chaos. I spoke with the guy who is putting in my cabinets in the kitchen. He says he will do them Oct. 11,12, and 13th. I am so ready for that to happen. I guess you could say I am uncomfortable in my own skin. I wish it were different. I am subjected to the big freeze at work from the boss lady so I ain't too cozy here either. I just wish there was some way I could get unstuck. I know I am doing much better than I was 6 months ago but I just am ready to be normal again. I am trying really hard.
Posted by poody at 7:27 AM::
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4 Comments:
Poods,
You should be very proud of yourself for at least trying to go out alone. I used to feel the same way long ago. I think it's because I was too self conscience and fearful of being judged by others. Now, I just don't give a crap! It's liberating and I actually look forward to doing things alone. I have however discovered that since I have returned to work I have a real problem being home alone during the day. I used to relish my time alone, and coveted every moment of it. I protected my "alone" time fiercly. But now, I dread it. I just end up spending too much time on the computer, and not getting anything done!
Your house will be ready in no time! I know it's a pain the butt for now, but it will be sooo worth it when it's all finished. Look back at all you went through to get to this point. A year ago you thought it would be impossible!
Chin up or I am flying out to Texas to kick your ass...lmao!!
Poody you really are making progress and you should celebrate that. Getting out and doing fun things is exactly what you need to be doing. Good for you. I can't wait until the kitchen is done. I want to see pictures.
I hope you have a good week.
Hey Poody!
I hope that once things are more settled at home you'll feel more comfortable there...As for "normal", I'm not really sure what that's supposed to be...
You've come a long way, Poody!
Take care out there!
Your Pal,
Zambo.
I do stuff alone or I dont get to do anything. Hubby is working so much and this week he is on nights so he sleeps during the day. I have to call him to talk to him, then he cant talk cuz he's busy.
I find I like going to the movies alone. I was so scared at first, but I can use both armrests and can slouch if I want!
I hope things get better at work. My kitchen also is not finished yet. IIt been a year now!! At least I can cook in there and the dishwasher works.
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