365 Days Only 635 More To Go !

365 days ago today I found out the Rat Bastard was lying to me and cheating on me. It will be 365 days tomorrow since I last laid eyes on him. It seemed then that there was no future for me. I was so very hurt.Hell, I was devastated. Everything I ever knew to be true in my world was false. I still to this day do not understand how he could lie to me like that. I know now that she was in my house with him when I was gone. I know that they had been sleeping with each other since the beginning of August.Even now, to think about that makes me sick to my stomach. He told me that day she made him a better person. I still don't get that. I know that those of you who have walked this journey with me know how many times I was weak. How many times I cried over him.But one thing I am proud of myself for is I never once begged him to come back. For one thing he would never do that. Once he makes his mind up about something that is it. But the other thing and I think the most important thing is I didn't want him back. He might have been the love of my life for all I know but one thing is for certain and that is that he had all of my love.All of it. And he tossed it aside like yesterday's paper. He just didn't care about me at all. It was like I didn't exist. How can you do that to someone you say you love?Hey, I am officially through asking those questions.Because you cannot love someone and hurt them the way he hurt me. I am over 1/3 of the way done with hurting over him and for some reason I am okay today. Of course, it is still early in the day and I still have that empty house to go home to. I really don't want to treat it like any other day though. I would like to mark the day as a milestone for myself. I look forward to the day that October 9th and 10th mean nothing to me at all. I am all cried out for now and find the whole thing completely exhausting.I have to go do the "w" now so I can't dwell on this for too long. I will however be thinking of something to do this evening.