Psstt,Hey I'm Over Here!

October update

2010-10-25T13:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here it is already October. It has been 5 yearas since the Rat bastard and I broke up and I have only dated one other guy who truned out to be a Rat bastard as well. I am giving up on the whole dating thing. I am not into shaving my legs and pubes for a man anyways. Plus, I am 53 years old now and I am not looking to impress anyone but myself. I bought myself a new couch. $3300. It is beautiful and I had it special made from the factory. It has a bit of a curve to it. It is big 8ft.11in. long. It is brown velvety feeeling materail. The matching pillows are the exact same blue,brown and green on the walls. I am so proud! Let's see what has happened since my last post. I didn't go to the ACL fest this year. Tickets sold out fast and I was not physically up for it either. I did go see Michael Frante and Spearhead though and they were great!I have been working on organizing my closet in the bedroom. I am such a messy pertson that if I do not keep things where they belong they would be scattered for here to there and everywhere in between! We spent weekend before last working on the yard. Picking up debris form storms etc. The dogs like to steal things and carry them outside to tear up like trash bags etc. I am on call for Halloween which sucks since it is my favorite holiday! How about those Rangers? Going to the world series! Yeah Texas! My alcoholic brother was admitted to the hospital last Friday for blood poisoning or sepsis from an infection in his foot that he will not take the correct traetment for. He checked hiself out AMA. It is only a matter of time before I get the call that he is dead. He is such a drain on the family as is. My mom is half crazy with worry. Every time someone calls from Fort Worth I know it is THE CALL. I know it sounds cruel but we have been dealing with his bullshit for too long. Alcoholics are selfish people who think only of themselves. I love him but hate his ways. I am working in the office this week which seems to be the only time I get to blog. I have almost all of my Christmas shopping done. I only have 3 more presents to get. It feels good too! I plan on going home this year for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I haven't been home for Christmas since 2005. My cousin JB remains seriously ill. He is home now still with a trach on oxygen and he is so thin he looks like an Auswich survivor! He has a tube in his stomach for feeedings and a huge wound from pressure on his butt. I help out as much as I can but his wife is such a trooper. She is with him constantly. She told me once she loves him so much and cannot even think of life without him. I continue to pray for him. Speaking of which I have been going to church lately. I go with my cousin Linda to the 7:30 am sunday mass. I figure I go that early I can't be sinning before time. But then again it is me we are talking about. Well, that is all I can think of except the big dogs turned 12 this week. It is hard to believe but they are old. Osa can hardly hear anymore and Chula has poor eyesight. If they were human they would be on Medicare! They have arthritis ,like me. It is hell getting old.

September Already?

2010-09-03T12:12:00.000-07:00

I have not been on here in a while. My friend Jana had her 50th birthday party at the end of July and we all had a great time. We had a big pool party and all the "clits" did a synchonized swim routine for her. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGn7Nyr9Aso go here to watch it. It took about 2 months of practice to do it. Her daughter Kaylee is first up with her rap about her mama. Jana is the one in the pink tye dye clothes. See if you can figure out which one is me. We had a blast doing it.
All except for one of the girls who is not even in it because she decided to throw a big hissy fit the night before and stomp off after screaming at everyone and calling me a fucking bitch to which I took offense and almost had to pull out a can of whip ass on her crazy butt! She is a manic depressive and thinks it is socially acceptable to scream and rant and rave if it will get your way. I have seen it about half dozen times already and was in no mood to put up with that shit. So now, needless to say she has unfriended me on Facebook. Wah! Give a shit! NOT! But, the fallout of it that 2 of the other girls have decided to not talk to me either. One is the skinny clit in the video and the other is the girl who goes under and kicks her legs in the air. She actually told me she was dissappointed in the way I handled the situation and asked me not to call or text her. Whatever! I am not gonna be chastised for standing up for not only myself but the rest of those bitches. No love lost over the crazy ass bitch and the skninny one is talking to me again but the other one still bothers me only because I thought we were best friends. Apparently not though. I do not abide by conditional love from anyone. You either love me or hate me. I am loyal to my friends and will give her the benifit of the doubt but I am sure as hell not going to reach out to her. She put me in time out so to speak. But, sadly enough, I am not missing her so much either. I mean, out of sight out of mind right? Ok so enought of my whining. Enjoy the show!

July 1,2010

2010-07-01T08:13:00.000-07:00

Here I am back in the office for a few days. It is cloudy and rainy today. Alex is making it's way to the Texas coastline and we will get some of it here too. We need the rain for sure. Now, let's dish. Right before my vacation I met this guy at a red light. He was cute and friendly and we ended up pulling over and chatting and exchanging phone numbers. He called me several times a day wanting to have coffee, drinks, movie, whatever before my trip. I put him off till after I got back from vacation. He told me he was a contractor and flipped houses. He had a job,truck, his own house, so he said. Sounds great right? Anyways, when I got back he would call me but only in the daytime and never at night or on the weekends. Sounding fishy yet? So, I asked him about it and he said he works so hard all week that he sleeps the weekend away. Whatever! Also, he was really fuzzy about his personal life. like where he lived, first he said he lived in Lakeway out by the lake then he said he lived on the other side of the dam so that would be like Cedar Park, Lago Vista, out that way. Then, he said he lived in Bastrop which is no where near the lake. When I asked him about that he said he owned 2 houses because he was living in one of the flipper houses till it sold.Okay, so everything can be explained away but there was always this nagging feeling in the back of my head saying this guy ain't right. So, anyways, he came over one evening and was all over me. I had to literally fight him off. I told him I wasn't that kind of girl an asked him if he wanted me to be that kind of girl and he said no. Then, I didn't hear from him for a couple of weeks. I kind of blew him off thinking hey I ain't no holla back girl!So, last week he calls me and says he has been thinking about us. He said he realized he had not been giving me enough attention and he wanted to rectify this by taking me out. I said ok sure why not. He called and made a date for dinner but never showed up. Then he called 2 days later saying he wanted to see me and I met up with him in the parking lot of a bowling alley for a chat. He said he was sorry and had been out of town working. He said he wanted to take me out so then Tuesday he called me during the day. It was raining really hard and he said he was done for the day. He came over to the house around 5pm. He came in, sat down, and immediately started trying to make out with me! I reminded him that I had not changed my mind that we needed to slow down and take it easy get to know each other,etc. He said we had known each other for over a month now.Whatever! I ain't going for it. HE said to me "so, that's it" I said yep that's it and y'all he got up and started to leave. I said what so if I don't fuck you, you are going to leave? He said he had to get back to work. I said bullshit, it is raining. he said I left the gate unlocked at the job site. he said I will call you later. I said don't bother. he said no you are upset. I will give you a few days TO COOL OFF AND CALL YOU. I SAID, NO, DON'T BOTHER i WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND. What an asshole! He told me he was Brad Cook and he was born and raised in Hawaii on Maui. He also told me he had been married in the past, had 5 grown children that lived in Hawaii. He said he had a girlfriend a few years ago but they had split up. Yesterday, I was sitting at the computer at work and thought hey I will run his phone number and see what it shows up. Yea, it comes up as a number for a Regena Smith who lives in Hutto a small town outside of Austin and a guy named Jose Sandoval who lives in South Austin! Ok, so I know I am not talking to him again! What a DICK!Hell, he could be a serial killer for all I know! I can sure pick 'em! I was minding my own business when he spoke to me! I guess no matter how old I get I will always have that sign on my forehead saying "all whacko come to me! "Man, I gotta get that sign removed!

Oil Slick

2010-05-01T14:03:00.000-07:00

Expert: Surface area of gulf oil spill has tripled - Yahoo! News: "Alabama's governor said his state was preparing for a worst-case scenario of 150,000 barrels, or more than 6 million gallons per day. At that rate the spill would amount to a Valdez-sized spill every two days, and the situation could last for months"

What the FUCK???? Fucking halliburton! Cheny is still making life for the peons miserable!I am so not liking the sound of this shit! I want to go on vacation and see beautiful white snad beaches! I guess now I better grab a botlle of Dawn and a bucket! Maybe I could sue them for fucking up my vacation! RAT FUCKING BASTARDS!Ok I am done cussing! Shit! OOpS!Ok now I'm done!

Fucking Friday!

2010-04-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

I hate working on Friday! I mean really now! I am on call all week and I had to go way out of town yesterday evening for an admit visit with wounds and IVs and the whole mess took me from 5:20 pm to after 9pm! I was exhausted and so was the client. I am so ready for this call to be over but now I have the weekend to look forward to. The title on call nurse is really a misnomer.It is really just mandatory work for the weekend because instead of just being on call and handling the on call problems they load her up with visits so that not only are you out all day seeing patients but you get to be constantly interrupted by the phone calls which are usually pain in the ass calls like where is my nurse or who is coming out to see me today! I am so ready for my vacation! Today has been so busy and the rest of the week I have been in here has been boring. I tried to get the scheduler to say she needed me in the field today but she said no, we were too busy in the office. One of the other nurses was in here yesterday with her hand loosely wrapped up in an ace wrap. She says she broke her hand and cannot work for 1 month. She fell on the job. Whatever. I watched her eat and write with the very same hand and she did great. I asked her why she didn't have it casted and she said as long as she keeps it immobile she does not need one??It is not immobile! I think she is trying to scam workman's comp and or short term disability. She says she can't work because she cannot lift anything iover 15 lbs. What? See, she has a grandbaby who must weigh less than that. I mean, really now what do we lift anyway? I have 2 torn biceps and can't go up and down stairs but they keep me pretty busy anyways. Ok enough of the bitching I gotta get back to work!

Office Life

2010-04-27T09:55:00.000-07:00

I am in the office every day this week and on call! Geesh! My two least favorites things together! Who did I piss off? Oh well, I can catch up on my blogging for a change. The weather here is so incredible. It is just the right temperature and the wild flowers are glorious this year. The best I have ever seen!I have a new camera and it takes awesome pictures! My internet is not working at my house or I would post some of them. Once I get it up and running I will post for sure. I haven't been on Facebook forever either. I find it easier to post pictures there as well. I cannot get on Facebook at work. It is a blocked site! Well!the weenie dog races were this p[ast weekend but we didn't go because I let it slip up on me! I thought it was this weekend! Crackhead baby!17 more days till vacation! I cannot wait! I am going to order a new bathing suit right now BYE

Vacation

2010-04-22T12:40:00.000-07:00

I so need a real vacation and in just 3 weeks I am going on one! I am going to Alabama. I know -what the fuck?? But really, they have a beautiful coastline and also Sherry lives in Alabama! I am hoping to talk her into coming down for a visity while I am there. My sister,Anna, my good friend,Debbie,her husband, Foots, her sister Helen , and Helen's grown daughter, KJ are all going. We have rented a beach house on a small island off the coast of Alabama Dauphen Island or maybe it is Dauphin Island... Anyways, we have rented a house right on the beach 4 bedrooms 4 bathrooms and you open the door and you are on the beach! I know it sounds wonderful! A whole week. I leave May 15th and will stay till the following saturday which is I believe the 22nd! The only drawback is the stairs I will have to navigate since the house is on stilts! There are no restaurants or fast food jpints and there is a little store where you can get a $6 loaf of bread so each person is resposible for 1 breakfast, 1 lunch, and 1 dinner for everyone. my cousin linda is making her famous chicken salad for me to take along and that will be my lunch for the day! I plan on sitting on the big covered porch every morning with a cup of coffee and bailey's. Maybe kaluha.. or both. I plan on switching to vodka and diet cherry 7 up for the afternoon! I got a new camera and plan on taking tons of photos! 21 more days! Oh yeah! My sister calls me almost every day to tell me what she has bought for us to take! I love her so much! Oops looks like the boss is back from her meeting I gotta go act like I'm busy!

I Miss Nancy!

2010-02-17T12:14:00.000-08:00

I think about my best frined in the whole world and how she just dropped dead on July 12th 2005. She had a bleed in her brain and probably died before she hit the floor. How fortunate for her. But me, well, you see I always thought we would grow old pissing our pants in the same nursing home together. She and I met in 1978 when I went to work at the county hospital in the trauma unit. She was without a doubt one of the funniest, nicest,smartest, sweetest people in the world. In fact, I will go as far as to say she was an angel here on earth. She made everyone who ever meet her feel better. I last saw her face in june of the same year when we were walking out of the airport together after a trip to Vegas. I talked to her almost every day on the phone but that was the last time I saw her. I wish I had known that was my last time to see her. Maybe I would have taken the time to really look at her, you know.We were supposed to meet up at Barton Springs on July 4th but I never showed up and by the time I talked to her to see if she wanted to go with us to watch the fireworks she said she was tired and just gonna go home. I play that over and over in my head and wish upon wishes I had made it out there that day ,but, I was in a relationship and he wanted to do something else. I think of her every day. I know that whatever happens in the rest of my life I will never see her again ever. This makes me incrediably sad. But last night, I had a talk with her. I mean it was so real. She was laughing and telling me how she had met Jimmie Hendriks, Albert Schwitzer,Groucho Marks ,and Jimmie Durante. I know that sounds bizarre but hey she was special. She also told me that when I die she will be right there to welcome me. She said I will not be afraid.This of course, made me very happy but today I am depressed because I know that no matter what happens to me -I could find true love and get married to a wonderful man or win the lottery or fall and break my neck. It does not matter because she will still be dead! Always for the rest of my life she will be dead!

Febuary Makes me Shiver!

2010-02-16T14:06:00.000-08:00

Ok! I am officially over the winter now! It was so nice here Saturday. Linda and I went to San Marcos for Mexican food at Mamacita's and it was beautiful-60's or so. When we left it was still sunny-but by the time we got home 15-20 miles away it was no longer sunny and the wind was whipping around and the temperature had dropped to 40's! Texas, if you don't like the weather just wait a bit, it will change!
Linda left this morning to go to Houston. She will have radiation therapy 5 treatments a week for 5 weeks. She is hoping to come home for the weekends but the gas is expensive. I told her I will pay her gas if she wants to come home! I will miss her!
Dooley was sick this past weekend. He had a temperature of 104.9 This is above the normal 100-101 temps they run. He was so pitiful! He is still not feeling up to par. He is not as playful or eating normally. He went to the vet who gave him a shot of antibiotics,steroids, and some antibiotics to take at home. He takes them in a do-nut hole! Dogs will take anything in a do-nut hole I have found! Hell, me too!
I am working in the office all week so I hope to becaught up on blogging for a while. I have not been on Facebook in a month at least. Linda says it has changed. I cannot get to the website from my work computer! How rude! Gues they want me to work! Whatever!

Febuary is Cold

2010-02-10T12:38:00.000-08:00

I am in the office again for the day. It is so cold in here I have my coat and hat on! It is cold outside too! I am looking forward to being home curled up in my jammies watching American Idol on TV. My arthritis has been especailly bad the last few weeks. I am taking pain meds daily now! I know this is not a good thing but I have no choice! I do ok in the mornings but as the day goes on I get more and more sore and hard to walk! It about kills me to go from sitting to standing position. My right knee gets a catch in it on the side and it about does me in! WAH!! Poor pitiful me!
Linda is back home now. They are talking about radiation therapy and want to do it all in Houston because of her size the Dr. says she would rather have her there and not so far away. Looks like she will get 5 days a week for 5 weeks. She plans on coming home on the weekends. Let's see how that plays out.
I have another dear friend who was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It is in her lymph nodes and they are not sure of the primary source. This is stage 4 and that is a very bad thing indeed. She is going today to have a port a cath placed in her subclavian vein for access for chemotherapy. I am worried about her. Such a nice girl!
Dooley is not liking the cold weather either. He has on 2 occasions this week opted to piss in the house instead of outside! Not cool! He pisses on the water cooler! Shithead!
My friend Connie had her 50th birthday party last saturday! It was a blast! All us clits dressed up like old ladies and did a line dance to Achy Breaky heart with walkers! It was hilarious! Yes, we tried to film it but the camera got blocked and the operator was drunk so... Well you just had to have been there! Happy birday Connie! Love you long time!
How about them Saints? I love it! The quarterback is from Austin ya know! Linda won $50 in a football pot! Go Linda! She says she will take me oput to dinner! that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
Ok gotta go look busy the boss is walking around!

Monday Morning

2010-01-04T10:37:00.000-08:00

Well, Linda has gone to Houston and will return tomorrow and stay for the week then back to Houston for her MD Anderson consult. She has called me every day so she must be homesick. She has a blow up mattress that sits on top of her bed. It is the most uncomfortable thing I have ever seen but she likes it. I have told her that if she wants to we can go to the mattress store and I will buy her a decent mattress. I think we can get one for 3-400 dollars that would last her for 10-20 years at least.Anyways, she said we will see. Stubborn girl. Dooley is missing her for sure as are the other 2 dogs.She gives them treats and scraps from the table which I will not do. Although, last night there was just a little bit of dog food left so they ate that then I ordered them a meat lover's pizza thin crust of course. They ate it and slept good, farting blissfully all night long! Stinky! I have to remember to go to the grocery store this evening after I get off work. I hate the grocery store and would gladly pay someone to go for me!
My good friend Jan came over yesterday and took my Christmas tree down while i packed away the ornaments. She also moved furniture around and back to where it was before Christmas. We had a Gazelle;execise equipment that was sitting in the living room right at the front door. We never used it and it became a coat hanger. So, we decided to move it into the spare room. Big mistake. Fisrt off, we had a hell of a time getting it to flod up and stay folded up. The stupid feet kept falling back and then the whole thing would open up and trip us up! We got it stuck in the hallway and wrestled it back into the living roomWe tried to fit it under the couch but it was too big. Then we tried to put it behind the couch but it got stuck there too! We finally had enough of it and we threw it outside and a neighbor came and got it! Yea neighbor! I never want tosee or hear about it ever again! I am sure Jan feels the same way. She then went into Linda's room and changed the sheets and tried to pick up a bit. She is the BEST!
The maid is coming today and she will be surprised at the shape of the living room since Jan got the dog hair out from underneath the furniture which is hard for me to do and a chore for the maid!I am sore from all the work from yesterday! Tomorrow I am off for my BD! And then I plan on taking friday off too! 3 day weekend. I was taking the whole week off before Linda got sick. But, someone has to stay home with the animals and she is not in a position to do this so I will wait until may when I plan on going to Alabama shores for vacation. That isn't until May man that seems so far away.

Another Day in the Office

2009-12-30T14:39:00.001-08:00

I am still in the office! I have to be here tomorrow too. Then back in the field Friday. I am on call all this week so no New Year's Eve Drinking for me. I really do not care. I don't even know of any parties this year. God, I am getting old. I am sure the girls will have something planned but have not talked to any of them. I know Connie reads my blog sometimes so if you are reading this call me and tell me what your plans are please. Jana is laid up after knee surgery last week. Jan will probably stay home Gail will probably stay home too. Man, we are some party animals!

End of the Year

2009-12-29T12:58:00.001-08:00

Wow! What a crazy month this has been! I have been busy working both in the field seeing patients and in the office to relieve staff for the holidays. My cousin Linda who I told you had been diagnosed with uterine cancer was admitted to the hospital last Tuesday evening. She started bleeding again and had a total of 8 units of blood. Her blood count was so low they had to build it up enough to do surgery. She had a total abdominal hysterectomy on Christmas eve morning. She is still in the hospital. She might get to go home tomorrow. Her mom is here and she has been staying with her since Christmas day. She wants to go to Houston to recouperate. Her sister, who is also a nurse lives there and her mom would stay there to be with her. I guess she feels more comfortable there than here. Her mom says she thinks there is too much dog hair in my house? Uh, yeah, I got dogs but what the fuck? Whatever! I think she would have a hard time getting in and out of our deep tub and her bed is not easy to get in and out of either. Those are both good reasons for not staying here. That and the fact that her mom would be in my house for 3-4 weeks. I love her don't get me wrong but you know how it is. Everyone likes their house way it is and not the way someone else would like it to be. In other words, it is a good idea for her to go to HOuston for a while. Plus, she can go get worked up at MD Anderson for the cancer. We are still waiting for the pathology report to come back from the surgery.
Onto to other news. I have been living alone now for the past week. I do miss my roomate but it is ok. I come home. Eat dinner, take a shower , and go to bed by 8-830pm. I lay in bed and watch TV until I fall asleep. Before I was staying up until 11-12 at night watching TV in the living room. I kind of like it this way to tell the truth. Dooley is loving it too. He is all about going to bed and burrowing in. He is so cute.
I am on call all this week. GRRR! Oh well, it gets my holiday call out of the way early on. I will have to remember to tell the person who does the call list to look at someone else for the remainder of the holidays for 2010!
I got a speeding ticket on my way to Fort Worth a couple of weeks ago! I will have to do the defensive driving class to get it taken off my record so my car insurance doesn't go up. I hate that crap. What a racket! I tried to get out of it but the cop was not going for anything but a ticket. I am so sure if I was a skinny big titted blond in my 20's I would have gotten off but...Whatever!
My birthday os next Tuesday. I was going to take the whole week off and go on vacation somewhere but now I have to stay at home because the dogs cannot be alone. Such is the life of a pet owner. Just another perk of having the roomate. That and she is the cook. I am hurting here people!
Ok I gotta get back to work! More later I am in the office all week!

Merry Christmas

2009-12-21T13:04:00.001-08:00

I have been so busy lately. I went to Fort Worth this past weekend to have an early Christmas with my family. I have to work Christmas Day so we exchanged gifts Saturday night at my sister Anna's house. There were 12 of us there and she set a beautiful table for us. My other sister, Angela, and her roomate made a fantastic meal for us and my sweet niece ,Ashley , made a chocolate cake from scratch!I so enjoy being with them! My niece is 16 years old and she loves hanging out with my sister Anna and I. I am blessed that she is this age and still wants to be around this old lady! my roomate and cousin,Linda, was doagnosed this past week with uterine cancer. She has been referred to MD Anderson in Houston. She has an appointment to see them Jan. 4th. I am so hoping and praying this is going to be alright. I love her very much and would be lost without her! So would Dooley! he already thinks he is her dog! I went and had my eyes checked and I am offically old now because I am wearing bifocals! But, hey, I can see clearly now!
My laptop has been broken and I finally got it out of the shop for $300 ! Merry Christmas to me huh? I wasn't going to buy myself anything for Christmas but, oh well! My sister Anna gave me a big bottle of my favorite perfume, Flowerbomb, which is not cheap! My Mom gave me a beautiful mirror for the living room wall. I also got candles and a food processer from my sister Angela. My best friend Connie, gave me more candles from our favorite little candle shop. I had a great time and was sorry to leave but had to get back for work today. I am in the office for the next 3 days and am on my "coffee break" right now! Wishing everyone a Merry Christamas and Happy New Year!

Office Work

2009-11-05T12:41:00.000-08:00

Ok so I am in the office today to work for one of the girls who took my old job. Funny, but the job I was doing alone now takes 3 nurses to do! Anyways, I am a case manager in the field now. The office nurses are here to approve orders written, follow up on tasks ,fax labs, take referrals, order DME,etc. There is 1 nurse to do all the referrals and 2 nurses who do all the above mentioned jobs/tasks. The girl I am covering for has all patients whose names start with M-Z. So, the other girl who is here and is about as useful as a tit on a boar hog has all patients whose names start A-L. I am looking at the screen on the computer and there are all these requests from nurses out in the field from as far back as 10/9/09. Some are asking for wheelchairs to be ordered, some are asking for the note itself to be faxed to the dr, some are asking for referrals to house call doctors. As I scroll down through them I see a few requests that I have made! I have one patient who I asked be referred to a visiting podiatrist on 10/9/09! Every time I see the patient I ask her if the Dr has come out and she always tells me no! Now I know why! Well, needless to say I am not a happy camper!So, the girl goes off to lunch for 1 1/2 hours and when she comes back she walks into this office and I tell her I am kind of pissed off at her right now and she asks me why and I tell her! She kept talking over me until I had to tell her to shut up and let me finish. Then she starts telling me how busy it is in there and how she is up here until 1 am a lot of times and how when she was gone on vacation 3 weeks ago no one did her job which is bullshit and even if it is so then why the hell is it not done now! I told her that sitting here looking at this and now knowing when I go back out into the field there is a very good chance that anything I ask her to do will probably not get done and that is scary and unacceptable! I am an RN just like her and when I sat in this position I had to do it all no excuses and if it wasn't done I would have been fired! I told her to get out I was done talking to her and she told me that if I really needed something done I should email her! Bullshit again! If I want something done on a patient standard operating procedure is to enter it into the patients chart in the portion she sees and she is to follow up on it and enter it as a follow up to the same note. Part of the chart!Email is not part of the chart! Unacceptable! She left out of here went into her office slammed the door then came back out stromed into the DON's office and screamed I am going home! Mary has upset me! Now she is crying! There's no crying in nursing! Just do your fucking job bitch! Ok now! I feel better!

Bad Blogger

2009-10-17T23:34:00.000-07:00

I haven't written anything in so long it is stupid. I have been spending all my time on facebook. Look me up.

Back in the Office

2009-08-26T12:32:00.000-07:00

Well, this week I am back in the office. I kind of like it except that the traffic sucks and the hours are long. I am used to being home by 4pm or at least in my part of town. Here, I am 18 miles from home but it takes almost an hour to get home. There are only so many ways to get across the river to south side of town where I live. I went to Fort Worth this past weekend for a family reunion for my step father's side of the family. I saw cousins I have not seen in 20 years or more. It was fun catching up with them all and meeting their extended families. My sister,Anna, who has the transverse myelitis is doing better and appeared in better spirits. I was in constant pain from my knees. It seemed like everywhere I sat was too low! My sister commented that I must be doing better because I seemed to be getting around better. When I told her that in fact it was the worst ever she was surprised because I never said anything about it. I mean, you know, what is there to say? I hurt like a bitch every time I get up or walk or stand for more than 15 minutes at a time. If I walk too much then not only do my knees hurt but then so does my right hip start aching! I have 2 blown knees, 2 torn biceps and a right hip that is starting the decent downward. I am a big old mess people! Ok Off the pity pot!

Facebook

2009-08-15T21:02:00.000-07:00

Wow I have discovered facebook and a lot of people I know are there. It is strange to say the least but kind of fun catching up with someone. I mean, I found three girls I went to Catholic grade school with. Relatives,classmates,etc. I can also put photos up easier on that sight for some reason. I have had a hard time of it lately. I guess ever since July for sure. I was on call the week before and it was the call from hell.I got a call every night and even one at 4am one night! I got totally lost out in the boonies and when I called the office to get someone to help me figure out what was what I was told they were busy and I needed to get a GPS mapbook or both. I had to call my cousin and she spent 2 hours with me trying to find this one guy. Then when I did find the dude he was living in this tiny fun down fifth wheel RV with rickety steps and when I was exiting the rat trap I slipped on the crappy step and fell out of the damn thing hurting my right knee and back! I hurt so bad. I rolled around in the guy's front yard all dust in a pair of white capris of course! He was 85 years old and weighed about the same. He wanted to help me get up! I told him to just stay back and I hauled my ass up and hobbled to my work vehicle and drove up the street and pulled over and cried like a baby! I went home that evening and my new laptop got knocked off the table onto the floor causing about $400 worth of work. Gosh, just talking about the whole thing kind of bums me out now. Sorry, although I do not know who I would be apologizing to because no one but me seems to be reading this. Hey, care it is all about me, right? My blog...
The whole point is I had a shitty few weeks. My knees hurt so bad that I am in constant pain. Most of all when I have to get up from a seated position. I take pain medication every day. I am afraid of the toll it is taking on my kidneys but without it I am immobile. I need to make an appointment with an Otho. Dr but I am afraid of the outcome which will be I need to have my knees replaced. I get it I know but I cannot afford to get it done. I do not have enough sick time to be off for the time it would require to rehab from something like that plus I really need to have them both replaced so if that were the case it would take additional time off. I feel helpless and sad about it all.I am like a 3 year old. I cry every day it seems.I am also afraid of what all bad things could happen to me. The anesthesia alone could kill me and I could wake up on a ventilator! That would so freak me out! I could throw a fat emboli or stroke out or bleed out or develop some god awful infection.It is so scary to me more than anything else!
Pity party...
I did see Counting Crows a few weeks back. They were excellent of course. I am hoping to see Better Than Ezra in September and oh yes Paulo Nutini is coming back. He has a new album out I have only heard it a few times and I am not in love with it yet. It sounds a little leprechaun to me is all.
It is so very hot here. Over 50 days of temps above 100.I shower in the morning and by the time I get home my hair is soaking wet along with my body. It is sick! Enough already!We get it. I always say we live at the back door of hell and this summer the devil has kept that door propped open!I am so hoping and praying for an early fall. It also almost never rains either.Annoying as hell. Ok enough verbal vomit.
And you....

Back in the Office

2009-06-12T11:13:00.000-07:00

So my boss asked me to come back in the office for today and Monday. I guess they forgot about how they fired me from this position. Whatever! I find it funny that they now have 3 people to do the job I was doing alone. I find I have a lot of free time! I guess it is ok except that I sit for too long and I don't get done till 5pm! Bummer! Hey, at least I can catch up on my blogs!

WEENIE DOG PARADE

2009-05-25T10:50:00.000-07:00

Ok so I have some pictures from the parade. I went with my friends Casey and Connie.Dooley refused to participate by going naked. It was ok though because he is such a rare type that everyone wanted to touch and look at him.

Memorial Day

2009-05-25T10:23:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while. I am hardly ever on the computer anymore.I have been spending a lot of time in the DFW area. My brother who is 44 years old, barely, is also a big old honkin' alcoholic. He is in and out of the hospital all the time with complications associated with the drinking. He is dying and it is a drain on the whole family. He was in the ICU a few weeks back because he was bleeding in his gut and they couldn't get it to stop. The Doctor told him if he would just give up drinking he could maybe live but he cannot give it up. He went on a bender for a few days and wore his shoes the whole time, then when he took them off he had bad blisters which then turned into wounds that have now become infected.His roomate called my mom saying he was in the bathroom and had fired a gun. She got over there to find him in the bathroom hallucinating saying someone was standing on the other side of the door with a gun and he shot through the door. The roomate kicked him out and well he should. My 2 sisters who live in the same town went to his house and put all his stuff in storage. My brother went to the parents house where he pulled out another gun and was waving it around saying they were outside waiting to kill him.Mom had to call 911 and when her husband got home, brother gave him the gun. He went back to the hospital. He was seen in the hospital again and then checked himself out AMA when they told him they may need to take one of his feet off due to infection. He came back the next day with fluid on his abdomen and legs all swollen up. They drained the fluid and put him on IV antibiotics and now his feet are better. He signed out again this time going straight to the bar where he did not however drink. He just sat there playing a video poker game till his money ran out. He left the bar to go to the ATM machine for more money. His card would not work. It was late,around 1:30 am and he went back to the bar but they were closing. 3 guys pulled brother out of the truck and beat the living shit out of him,would have killed him perhaps but the bartender came out and they ran off. He went to the hospital with a closed head injury, 2 fractured orbits and a fractured nose. He signed hiself out AMA again and told my mom he was dying and had things to do. He cannot even see because his eyes are swollen shut. He called my niece to come get him and drive him around.This is exhausting, not to mention hertbreaking. My poor mom is gonna have a nervous breakdown. I am glad I am not in the same town although I do feel guilty that my 2 sisters have to bear the brunt of this. I haven't called my sister today to see how things are going because I am having a good day. My mom says she wants 1 day to just be alone to do whatever she wants to do which is going to Oklahoma to play the slot machines for a while. I say go for it but she is afraid if she does this he may need her! Bullshit! I call bullshit! Alcoholics are selfish people. All they ever think about is themselves! I am sick of this and it is far from over.

Dallas and King Tut

2009-04-08T15:43:00.000-07:00

I am going to Dallas this weekend to meet my friend Pam from Tulsa. We are going shopping and to the museum to see the King Tut exhibit. I am so looking forward to the trip. I love shopping in big D and I love anything remotely egyptian. Even the cotton! LOL! I have been busy at work too! I went to the Dr. last week and had blood work drawn. I have tested positive for Hepititis C but my blood work shows no viral load, and I am one of the lucky 20% who does not need the treatment. My liver enzymes are all normal. I am not even a carrier.! Yay me! I have been so tired lately and the aches and pains have exacerbated to the point of my crying with the pain. My Vitamin D level was 9 the normal is 30-60 so this is probably why I have weak muscles and pain. I have started on a replacement but I will have to wait for a few weeks before checking the levels again. I am out in the sunshine every day but I do use a sunblock. I have to or I would burn baby burn. Hopefully the replacement therapy will work and I am already feeeling stronger and less pain. Of course, he also put me on tramadol which my friend Connie the kidney nurse tells me is the least offensive to the kidneys. I really wish I had a vicodin because they work and I am tired of the pain! Whaa!!!Big baby!

Catching Up

2009-03-23T09:03:00.000-07:00

I have been bad about blogging lately. Well,actually ever since I quit working in the office with access to the computer all day.Truth be known I spent a lot of time at work goofing off. But now that I am back in the field I am busy all day and when I get home I am too tired to do much other than laundry,shopping for groceries,picking up the house,etc. You get the picture. I was on call this past weekend and I worked long hours both days. I didn't get off friday till almost 7pm. SXSW was going on all last week too. I did go to a free concert down on Auditorium Shores friday night though.It was Bob Schneider(missed him) then Raul Malo,and Arc Angels.The last band is a favorite of mine and the real reason even went down there to hang out with a feew thousand folks. They have 1 album and if you can find it get it because it is the epitome of Austin music.I have company too. My cousin from Chicago,her son and a friend of his came in late friday night and have been staying here soaking up the Austin scene. I asked my little friend Maddy who is a college student to show them around Saturday and they went to a few concerts SXSW style. I took them to the Oasis last night which is this restaurant on Lake Travis. The view is awesome for the sunset but the food sucks and I spent $130 on dinner and drinks for 4 of us which isn't too bad but it was bad that is! Today, I am off and plan of spending time either in bed or doing laundry. Haven't decided which one yet. I think the boys are leaving today to go to Houston. What a change of pace for them. I think they want to see the ocean but Galveston is still pretty tore up from Ike. I have been having more and more pain in my knees and so I have an appt. to see my dr tomorrow. I am going to ask for pain And yes, I have tried NSAIDS but they are bad on my kidneys.

Just Thinking

2009-02-18T13:11:00.000-08:00

I have been very busy lately. My sister,Anna, has a very rare neurological disorder called transverse myelitis. It affects the sheath that protects the nerves coming from the spinal cord. She has a lesion at c-4 which is pretty high up. She has lost feeling in both her hands and arms. She has trouble gripping things,writing,zipping,buttoning,etc. I went to see her this past weekend and she is scared stiff. There is only 1 clinic in the US that specializes in this and it is in Baltimore. But they are opening a clinic in Dallas sometime in the next few weeks. She will be seen there but in the meantime she can only wait. I feel so helpless in that there is nothing I can do for her except try to find adaptive devices to make her life easier. So, please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Cold

2009-01-18T11:11:00.000-08:00

I have arthritis and have had it since I was 25 years old. I have it in my ankles,knees,shoulders,and wrists. Lately, I have been feeling it attack my right hip. Soon, I will have every joint in my body affected. It is only a matter of time. I am overweight and sedentary for the most part so that doesn't help matters much either. I maen, work keeps me mobile but, once I get home I am a couch potato. It has been cold here lately and the cold makes my joints ache so bad it is unreal. I take aspirin but could use a morphine drip!I am kidding. I guess I just feel sorry for myself because really last Tuesday I had a pretty good day. I was walking without a lot of pain. With every step I was praising God's name for giving my what I pray for every day.Guess it's true what they about God. You pray on your own time and He answers on his. I know this sounds needy but I am praying again for one of those days.

Wintertime

2009-01-15T05:58:00.000-08:00

It is cold here this morning.Dooley will not go outsideand chooses to pee on the bathroom rug!I myself do not care for it either but since I live at the back door of hell it will only be cold a few days at the most. Jan 20th is fast approaching! Go Obama! How is the weather in your neck of the woods,so to speak?

New Beginnings

2009-01-10T14:30:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot lately about my life and the things I have and haven't done. I seem to have been in a holding pattern for the last 3 years. I guess it has taken the last 3 years to heal my broken heart. I have lost so many people in my life these past years either to death or devastation. I find that I miss the Rat Bastard the least. In fact, I don't miss him at all. I do find it strange that in the last 3 years I haven't seen him even once out and about.Not that I mind this you see it is just strange.My cousin,Linda,my roommate told me this morning that her best friend who has kids and just divorced is asking her to move in with her. Not sure if she will or not. I hope not because I do enjoy her company. I do not like living alone but I don't know if I could live with anyone else.As much change as I have had I still don't care for it any better. My friend Connie has been dating again. She was out of commission for a few years busy being a single mom but I guess she figures she is tired of being alone.You know, I really don't know what prompted her to try it maybe she was tired of life passing her by.I mean, I feel like life has been passing me by.I feel like I am waiting for something but I don't think it will find me in my dark living room or sitting in my bedroom watching Frasier. I used to be so adventurous.Now, I am doing good to get up and take care of myself every morning.I want a new beginning.

Always a Bridesmaid...

2009-01-06T14:33:00.000-08:00

Yours truly at my cousin's wedding I was the maid of honor

Sad Christmas

2008-12-24T14:50:00.000-08:00

I got a new laptop because my computer died finally. I nhave to work tomorrow morning but it's all good. I will get double time time so for about 2 hrs. work I will make around $300.My cousin,Linda has gone to Houston to be with her family for the holidays. Today is a beautiful day 70 degrees. The sad news is my cousin,Tammie who lives in Dallas lost her youngest son on Dec.12th.He was 29 yrs.old and was a policeman in the Dallas area. He took his own life with a gunshot wound to the chest. He left a note but it was so messed it didn't really make any sense but then should it?He was a wonderful guy.He has a 2 yr old daughter who lives with her mother.They were separated.He was my favorite kid too. He was always so nice and my cousin Tammie idolized him. He was her favorite child. She has been through so much this past year. She finally got out of a bad marriage but her other son and daughter had taken the dad's side and are not in touch with her at all and get this,they did not go to the funeral. Neither did the ex husband, his own father. that is fucked up big time. Thankfully, she has met a wonderful man who loves her very much and he paid for the funeral as the ex refused to pay a dime as he said. How can someone do that?There were a lot of police present at the funeral which is awesome since he was buried in Paris which is about 100 miles north of Dallas.I have just not been able to get in the spirit since then. My arthritis has been very bad too. Today, not so bad but on those cold wet dreary days I am in a world of pain. I have been eating a lot of junk food mostly chocolate but other crap as well.Guess that is my way of dealing. Stuff it downSo,here I sit eating chili fritos and smoking cigarettes!

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-25T15:44:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are once again in the holiday season. I am going to my Mom's house for Thanksgiving. It is mandatory. I don't mind though. I will see my brother and sisters along with my favorite aunt. My Mom is a great cook. I will visit with them for a while and then go to Dallas and spend the night with my BFF since I was 12 yrs. old,Connie.She is going to Mom's house with me actually. I plan on doing a little shopping in Dallas on Friday then coming back home on Saturday. I may or may not stop and visit my friend who lives on the way back ,Nancy. She is the nurse friend of mine who raises weenie dogs. I got Dooley from her. I am leaving Dooley home becuse my cousin is not leaving town. She is spending it with friends. The weather here is nice crisp and cool in the mornings and evenings and perfect in the 70's during the days. I am still the road nurse and having a great time. I met a publishe author today. She was very interesting to talk to.
My sister,Anna has been having troubles. She has been having numbness and tingling in her extremities and has been worked up for a hundred different things. At this point, she has idiopathic transverse myelitis which is a fancy word for we do not know what is causing it. It is not M.S. but they are working it up for this as well. She has been on a treatment of steroids and afterwards will go on interfuron which is what they use for M.S. I am scared for her. Hopefully, she will get over al this but it really sounds as if she could be saddled with it for life!

My new do.

2008-11-16T21:35:00.000-08:00

I wish I could make this bigger but I am doing good to get it on here. My new haircut that is. I am the one on the left. the one on my right is my friend, Kelly.

I Believe in a Better WAY!!!!

2008-11-06T14:26:00.000-08:00

Yea! I am so stoked! I was elated to watch our country finally wake up and do the right thing for a change! I am so hopeful for our future. And I haven't been hopeful since 9/11. I love love love President Obama. He will be the best president since FDR! As many of you know I am a home health nurse. My patients are almost exclusively Medicare recipients. I had to laugh at my little old people who of course, all voted Republican straight ticket. They all were so sure that Obama stood for socialism. They were all against socialism in any form or fashion. I would periodically just for grins ask them what the defining point of Obama's plan disturbed them the most and almost every time they would say because he wants to socialize insurance. Now, I laugh because Medicare is a federally funded program so that means that every one of them is already on socialized insurance and have been since the 1960's when Medicare was started. And guess what people, it works. Yes, it surely does. And hopefully, one day when you get old enough you too will reap the benefits of socialized medical care. Of course, that is if any of you manage to make it till your ''golden years''. We all pay into it and therefore we are all eligible to use it. Now, think about it for a minute. Who would you rather have in charge of securing your insurance benefits? Your employer...or you representatives picked by you for service in the government? I mean, what does your employer care about? The bottom line that's what. Which insurance plan is the cheapest? Hell, they could care less which one is the best for you. Do not think for one minute they do. But, if government were in charge they would make sure you were seen before a problem arises. Getting regular check ups because you can makes a lot more sense than just dealing with your illness until you cannot anymore and then winding up in the E.R. with unfamiliar faces and again people who are dealing with the bottom line. Indigent patients are a drain ion the hospital system. I want my medical insurance benefits before I am too old to matter. So, I am an Obama Mama!
This is what I have prayed for since I was a little girl sitting in the front of the television listening to the likes of Rev. Martin Luther King tell us about his dream and that dream became my dream too. Not that we would one day have an African-American president but that one day we would cease to recognize color and like beyond it to the man who could lead this country the best. I know, I know, some of you will say that a lot of people did vote for him because he is black and hey, I am sure they did. Some people voted for McCain because he wasn't black! I am not saying there are not still racist in this country both black and white. What I am saying is that finally those of us who have known forever that the color of one's skin does not make the mark of that person. It is how they live their life. How they help others who are in need. How they love. Love is not an emotion it is indeed an ability. Can you love? It is harder than you think.Altruism is a hard thing to achieve. Look at all the people in this country who are unloved. You see them every day. They stand on the street corners with their hands outstretched asking for you to just acknowledge they they exist. Do you think anyone looks at them at the end of the day and says I love you? I think not my friends, I think not. And this makes me so sad. DO this one thing for me the next time you see one of them. Just look them in the face and smile. Give them that if you don't want to give them money. It won't cost you a thing and it will do wonders for that person. It will make him or her feel like she is worthy of love even if she isn't getting it. There but for the grace of God go I! Look at it this way, you could give them a dollar just for reminding you that you are who and where you are. Truly blessed and loved!

Holidays are Closing in!

2008-10-25T13:37:00.000-07:00

I have a love hate relationship with Christmas. When I was a kid being raised by my grandparents,for some reason, I was shipped off every Christmas to spend with my mom and her family. I absolutely hated it. My stepfather was mean spirited and treated me like shit. And then there were the children. My half sisters and brother.I adored my brother and got along well with my sister just under me but my other sister was 6 years younger than me and she was a monster child. Devious and petty she was the one who started each and every battle waged within that house. I was used to being the only child and didn't like being thrust into my "other"family especially during the holidays. Anyways, whatever, whatever. Let's move along shall we? I have been collecting doll heads now for a while and have amassed a sufficient quantity to do what I long ago planned and that is to have a anti Christmas themed tree. I have the rattiest nasty doll heads imaginable. Some of them are downright scary! The plan is to get one of those old aluminum trees you know the kind silver and the rattier the better I say. Then I hang the doll heads all over it and trim it in red lights! It is more of a conceptual idea I guess. Anyways, my cousin Linda of the turded pocket has told me she will move out if the offensive tree is displayed in the front yard! I mean really! She is such a prude sometimes! But have no fear my looney friend Lois has offered her yard as fodder for the doll head tree! Yea! Lo!Love her so much! More to come!

This Time of Year

2008-10-02T16:08:00.001-07:00

Here we are 3 years later. It has been 3 years since the Rat Bastard left. Well, on the 9th it will be but close enough anyways. It's funny because it still hurts and despite every effort I still think of him at least once each and every day. Yes, the 1000 days are past and although I am not burdened with the gut wrenching pain of the breakup I still feel the departure.Somehow,I still don't feel whole. That pisses me off too. I mean, come on already and get over it. I am of the mind at this time of my life anyways, that I am destined to be alone. That i not a bad thing per se, but I just don't feel like there is really someone out there that I can have a connection with.
Now, let me climb off this here pity pot and get on with the rest of the stuff I wanted to.I went to the Austin City Limits Festival again this year. But, I did what a I coined ACL lite. My friend and I went every day after 4pm for one thing. Too dang hot! But, this year the weather was fantastic.Never a swelter the whole weekend. If you were there between 12-4pm maybe but hey, ACL lite,baby! Friday we saw Patti Griffith who is a hometown favorite. If you don't know who she is then go find out. Listen to Heavenly Days- a song about her dog! That's what someone told me anyways. Then this band from Denton Texas Eli-Young Band who were touted as similar to Counting Crows and Jayhawks. They were more like Sunvolt meets Kenny Chesney. A little too country for my taste but the songs were catchy and all in all it was enjoyable. Especially munching down on some chicken in a cone from Hudson's on the Bend. That's this fancy smancy restaurant out at the lake where all the rich white people live. Anyways, they fry up a chicken breast all flattened out rolled in corn flakes,flour,nuts? hell if I know but then they put it with a mango slaw and drizzle on this sauce that is spicy! It is so good. Drool...
Then we ended the night listening to this guy named Donovan Frankenreiter. He was my favorite of the evening for sure. He was kind of like a Jack Johnson/Ben Harper kind of guy. You know, that whole genre. Got to heart a little bit of David Byrne too.Was home by 10:30pm.
Saturday, we saw John Fogerty and Allison Krause and Robert Plant.John did a lot of Credence which rocks cuz hello he sang Proud Mary! Knowing I was DANCING!!!!Then Allison Krause who has the most beautiful voice ever and Robert Plant...need I say more. They did a bluegrass version of Black Dog and Far and Away that was awesome!OMG! Allison sang that gospel song from O Brother Where Art Thou-When I went Down to the River to Pray that gave me chills. They were the best show of the festival. We ended the night listening to some Beck and again got home pretty early. Sunday, well, I didn't go. I was done. I couldn't think of how anyone could top the previous night. The only band I really wanted to see was The Raconteurs and I have seen them before. I know there were some really good bands playing like Band of Horses and Foo Fighters but I was done ACL lite.
Go, I mean run to the record store and get the Allison Krause Robert Plant album and I gotta get that Donovan dude's album cuz he was fabulous.
Speaking of fabulous have I mentioned my new haircut? I man my hairdo! Oh yeah honey, I gotta a new do and it is short!!!! Like boy short. I cut off 16inches! I gave it to Locks for Love. It is so cool ,literally.I will have to download some pictures and put them up for you to see. I saw this ad in the Alamo Draft House flyer that said Bad Ass hair so I went there and told them I wanted Bad Ass hair! I spoke with this girl and told her I wanted it short but I didn't want to look like a lesbian. No offence but I'm just saying. I wanted to look fabulous and made the appointment. I came back and she did me up then I went and got so very very drunk on tequila which IU vow to never do again. I was like lay down and put your foot on the floor give me a piece of bread, a cold washrag, and a trash can NOW!Oh yeah! Then I had to get up early the next morning to go to a big old swap meet in the heat and oh Lord Jesus! Please help me! I was sweating like a whore in church!I had to put myelf on probation after that. That is too much!But the great thing was I felt like shit but I looked damn good! That's what I'm talking about!

Dammit Dooley!

2008-09-12T20:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, so you know I have a little weenie dog,Dooley. Or as we like to call him Double D for Dammit Dooley! He is a sweet little guy but he has a passion for crotches. Any kind will do. Clean ones,dirty ones, fresh out of the pack never been worn ones,jeans ones,pajama ones...well you get the picture. In fact, when my cousin,Linda, moved in he was about 6 months old. She had just bought a brand new pair of jeans ,worn one time. She had thrown them up on a chair in her room. She washed and dried them and when she went to put them on... yep, he had eaten the whole entire crotch out. He knows it is wrong but it is like crack cocaine to him. He physically cannot stop himself from partaking in the crotch. So,as we like to say Around here a clean crotched pair of panties is a scarce and wonderful thing.

He is housetrained but sometimes, for reasons we cannot possibly understand he will just take a dump at the foot of your bed. No reason, just thought he would run in and leave you a little sumpin'!

Anyways, the other day I am out running the roads visiting my patients when I see Linda has called me. I call her back and she says have you listened to your messages. No I say what's up? Just listen to the message she tells me. So, I am driving down the raod and listening to the message and she says We are having bbq weenie tonight! When I came out of the bathroom from my shower, he had shat in front of my bed and I smeared it all over the floor with my freshly washed foot. {I had heard her Dammit Dooley this morning myself}. She said she cleaned it up and her jeans were draped over the bed half on and half off the bed. She reached down and put them on and went to work. This is all around 7am. Very rushed and well... you know. She said around 10 am she was going back out to her truck and reached in her pocket to pull out her keys and pulled out 2 turds instead! MMMWHHHAAAA! hahahahahahahahah! I had to pull over on the side of the road I was laughing so hard! So, I call her and say {laughing my ass off as well} so when you pulled those turds out of your pocket did you just start laughing or what? And she says , hell no, I didn't start laughing I was holding 2 turds in my hand! OMG! I almost pissed myself right then and there! She says now whenever someone is bitching about their job or day all she has to say is hey, did you pull 2 turds outta your pocket? Because if you didn't pull 2 turds out of your pocket then you didn't have as shitty of a day as I have had! I say she gives new meaning to the term Hot Pockets! I had to call her later and ask if she had change for 2 turds in her pocket! She told me I was just being shitty! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

The Change

2008-08-13T16:50:00.000-07:00

me in Las Vegas back in April.
I am 51 yrs. old and am now embracing my "golden years". I still have to get up every morning and go to work. The difference is that I have aches and pains now that I have to deal with on a daily basis. Then there are the "hot flashes" Oh yea, baby, they are fierce! I mean, you never know when or where they will turn up. I can be sitting in a cool room perfectly still chatting with someone and the next thing you know my upper lip is sweating and I am burning up lokking for a fan,breeze, open freezer...It only gets better too, I also have trouble sleeping, well, not actually falling to sleep just the staying asleep. I toss and turn all night with the night sweats and who knows what the hell else! And the mood swings! I will bust out crying over the simplest things and god forbid, if you are crying, hello, Miss bawlbag here will join right in! Oh, I ain't saying I am sitting alone in the dark feeeling sorry for my sweaty self. Quite the contrary, I am enjoying being a single woman and find not having to worry about a man a very liberating thing I tell ya! But, the thing is that now when I get together with my friends and we start getting crazy and I start laughing, the next thing i know I am peeing my pants! I laugh so hard I pee myself! Not a big gush, mind you ,but a tiny dribble that heck, even 2 years ago I could have held back. That and for some reason, I have great bladder control all day but the minute my feet hit my front porch I gotta go and barely make it to the pot before the big TT! The funny thing is that as I sit here proof reading this entry I keep moving the chair back and back...focus!
IT'S A GREAT LIFE IF YOU DON'T WEAKEN!

Catching Up

2008-07-29T14:27:00.000-07:00

I have been so lax in getting on the computer this summer. I had 300 plus emails when I went into check it today. That is ridiculous! I am busy every day seeing patients in their homes. I am having such a good time. I am still going strong on the whole low carb diet thing. I have lost 5 dress sizes to date. I am looking GOOD! I haven't had sex in almost 3 years though! Hello! I am a born again virgin! I am not seeing anyone and haven't even been attracted to anyone in so long I fear I may forget what that is like! I would like to find someone special bit then again am not up for any more heartache either. I still miss my best friend in the world and find it hard to believe I haven't seen or spoken to her in over 3 years now. It is funny because no matter what happens I could win the lottery tonight and she will still be dead. I hope to someday put that all behind me but for now it is still a challenge each and every day. I hope everyone is doing well and know that I am taking care of me and hope you are taking care of you.

Hey

2008-07-03T05:42:00.000-07:00

I am up early this morning. I have to go way out in the country this morning to see a guy who just had his knee replaced! OUCH! I am off tomorrow and look forward to getting in the pool and watching the fireworks tomorrow night! I hope everyone has a great holiday!

Back Door of Hell Baby!

2008-06-28T20:57:00.000-07:00

Seriously,are you kidding me with the freaking heat or what? I am so over the summer already and it just started! It has been hot here since May! Everything is brown and dead. All along the roadsides I see big patches of burned trees and land. I assume the fires are started from people throwing out their cigarettes. They always start at the roadside and head into the pastureland. This morning Jan and I went to Luling for the Watermelon Thump. It took us about 1 hour to get there. It was so hot that after 1 hour I had sweat running down my back and Jan was having mo more of the heat.! Sweltering it was! We had to get back in the car and head to Lockhart where we stopped for some to go BBQ at Kreuz's market! Just the best BBQ in the world! It was crowded and we had to stand in line in front of all the pits and sweated some more!But it was worth it. I brought home ribs,brisket, and smoked ham. We had ribs for lunch and brisket for dinner. Tomorrow we will have eggs and ham! Gotta love the low carb diet!I am so hoping it will rain soon. We saw all these beautiful purple wild flowers growing in the pastures today. I have never seen anything like them and of course did not have my camera with me. Everything else was dead and brown but these flowers were out there just blooming away. Heat and draught be damned! I may have to go back out that way soon to get a better look at those flowers and get a picture of two.

Sometimes

2008-06-25T20:36:00.000-07:00

I have been having a hard time lately with not wanting to work. I am tired all the time and have to really push myself to get up in the mornings and get going. I am taking aspirin for my arthritis and for the most part it seems to help somewhat but I am never completely pain free. I wonder if I will ever be pain free. I try not to complain but I swear some days are tough.I think the hot weather has a lot to do with the feeling of being wiped out. It makes me think about my future and how much longer I will be able to work. I am in no financial way able to even cut my hours back. I have a lot of bills for someone who has nothing. I mean I have a house,car,and that is about it. Even my computer is obsolete. My TV is over 10 yrs old and the one in the bedroom I got in 1989. My furniture is worn and the last piece of new furniture I bought was a console table 3 years ago. It was a splurge item. I am not trying to get sympathy from anyone I just worry sometimes that I haven't done enough preparation for my "golden years". I guess I thought I would be financially independent by now. How I have no idea. But I guess there is more to planning than buying lottery tickets!

Losing Weight

2008-06-16T06:16:00.000-07:00

I saw someone I haven't seen in about a year this weekend and she made me feel good telling me I had sure lost a lot of weight. My cousin,Linda who is also on the losing weight plan with me showed me this weekend how she can pull her jeans down without unzipping them. She is now wearing pants that were too small and even they are falling off of her. She is a tiny girl only 5 ft 2 inches but she is heavy too. When she loses weight it is not in one spot but more like a shrinking of everywhere. It is sometimes hard to see the loss yourself unless your cllothes are falling off and I am down to al my clothes including the ones that were too tight or too small falling off. I am reluctant to go out and get new clothes although I did do just that 2 weekends ago and the clothes I bought were 4 sizes smaller than from when I started losing weight. Even though I try I still do cheat every once in a while but I do not beat myself up over it I just make sure that whatever it is I am cheating with is worth it.Then resign myself to getting back on track not the next day but that very same day making sure not to let go all day. If I do cheat with sugar than the next day I wake up with a nasty taste in my mouth! Yuck!Ok so I am off to the W. Hope all is well in bloggerland.

Poor Osa

2008-06-15T18:10:00.001-07:00

So I decided to give Osa a haircut myownself. And let's just say well, it will grow back. I was using an electric shears and a guard but the guard was prohibiting any hair from getting off so I removed the guard and was doing fine but then she would move and then I tried to even it out...anybody know what kind of sunscreen is good for dogs?At least, she won't get any fleas and she cannot possible y be hot. I will admit her breathing is much less labored now. I gotta get some pictures of her shaved and post them I am a bad mommy.

Cheesy but True

2008-06-13T07:24:00.000-07:00

so I am working today even though it is after 9am and I am still at home. I have a light day today which is always good. I was thinking about life and how funny things turn out sometimes.My sister sent this to me and I want to share it with you.

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A hot shower.

4. No lines at the supermarket.

5. A special glance.

6. Getting mail.

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).

12. A bubble bath.

13. Giggling.

15. The beach.

16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.

17. Laughing at yourself.

18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you.

19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

20. Running through sprinklers.

21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS.

24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.

26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).

27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

28. Playing with a new puppy.

29. Having someone play with your hair.

30. Sweet dreams.

31. Hot chocolate.

32. Road trips with friends.

33. Swinging on swings.

34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

35. Making chocolate chip cookies.

36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.

37. Holding hands with someone you care about.

38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.

39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.

40. Watching the sunrise.

41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

42. Knowing that somebody misses you.

43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.

44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Weekends are too Short

2008-06-08T16:19:00.000-07:00

Dooley giving Osa the biggest wet willie ever!

I have been absent from the blogging world for a long time now. What happened is I switched internet service from AT&T to Road Runner with the cable so for some unknown reason I went withoout internet and phone service for 3 weeks. Now we have digital phone service and high speed internet! Whoo hoo! I have been busy with work as well. But still loving it compared to any other job I ever had...I mean at the end of the day, it is all only just work,isn't it?

My childhood friend,Connie, came to visit this weekend. She and I went along with one of the clits,Jan to Wimberly for Market day. We got out there early enought to beat the crowd and did pretty good at bargain hunting and getting. I also love all the free samples of food to be had from the venders selling their wares.I only purchased a mandevilla plant for the back yard.

Then we went to a birthday party for another clit, Lois. I tried to get her a coca-cola cake for the occasion but the place I usually get it from says they no longer make them! What! Why? So, if anyone out there has the recipe for one let me know. I can make one next year. This year she got a pecan fudge pie from the Wimberly Pie Company. Yummy as it sounds too! I was not being a good dieter this weekend!

Not much excitement around here to speak of We had a burn party a couple of weeks ago. That is when the girls all get together and burn all our shred stuff. Linda, my rommate cousin, made fajitas for the lot of us and we sat around eating and drinking booze, and burning stuff. I know it sounds so exciting but it was a lot of fun.

My knees have been feeling better the last week for a change but after yesterday I was feeling all beat up again but then again I did walk around for over 2 hours!
I can lo longer take NSAIDS at all. Like Advil,Aleeve,etc. I already was unable to take tylenol due to the Hepatitis I got from a needle stick. So, now I am down to Aspirin. And maybe it is working better than the other stuff or maybe it is the warm weather or the weight I have lost or a combonation of all of it. Who knows?
WHat is everyone else up to these days?

Long Time No Blog

2008-05-13T15:29:00.000-07:00

Dooley stuck in the sleeve of my jacket He was so funny He could not figure it out. He kept wanting to go thru the wrist part of it and that was not happening!

Osa Bear! She is the nicest dog ever!

Chula Lee! My sweetheart!

I am so sorry that I have been neglecting my blogger friends. I am so loving my job as the admit nurse. I get to meet the nicest people in the world and the diversity of the places I go on a daily basis is phenomenal! I am never on the computer so today I decided to lurk about and see how everyone is doing!

Let's see I went to the annual Buda weenie dog races a few weeks back and I did get some great pictures and I promise to download them this weekend so everyone can see them. Dooley did not race nor did he wear a costume. In all fairness, the cape was too big. Like Janet Jackson, he had a wardrobe malfunction! He was a streaker! LOL!

I didn't enter him in a race because I had to leave early to go see my friend Jana's daughter, Kaylee perform in a one act play for the state finals UIL competition. She was great and played a character she made up from the "clits". See guess all the wildness pays off sometimes. She is so talented and I am looking forward to seeing her name in lights one day! She is now in a musical with a big role as well. I am so very proud of her!
The days are getting longer and I love that so much too! I think Spring is my favorite time of year. It is not too cold and not too hot! I am sad to say that Osa has heartworms. I am a bad mother! I took her to the vet this past Sat. for her annual checkup and she was positive for them. The treatment is harsh. They use arsenic! I have some holistic medication I am going to use to see if it will work. It has a good success rate anyways. Let's see. I am just giving it to all the dogs since they probably got bit by the same stinking mosquito! Bad Mom Bad Mom!
I am still losing weight and am walking 6 times a week. I can only walk for about 15 mins. at a time but the fact I am walking is nothing short of a miracle! I take a different dog each day so everyone gets a little 1:1 time 2 times a week. Of course, Dooley thinks he should get to go every time. Little shit!
My neighbor hit my car while it parked in front of my house the other night. She is 22 years old has 2 kids, lives with her parents still,no job, and get this no insurance and no license! Dumb ass bitch! Is it terrible that I hate my neighbors so much? They are the ones who never feed or water their dog. He keeps breaking out of his yard to come to my yard. He is a sweet dog but he is a pit bull and one bite from him would surely kill Dooley! I feed him and give him fresh water every day when I feed my brood. Dooley is allergic to corn so I have to feed him a special corn free food and it is expensive. I buy 40 pounds for $36. I can't separate it so everyone eats it. Oh well! He is looking good though. Before his coat was thin and he was losing hair along his back. Now, granted he doesn't have a lot of hair but what he has sure is pretty!
I am in the process of painting my front door. I am talking about a mural not just slapping paint on it. I am using baubles and shiny surfaces as well as some mirrors. It is going to be beautiful. Or as my Mom would say gaudy as all get out! Nothing like Southern Tacky y'all!
Okay for the life of me I cannot think of anything else to say so I am done and am off to check out a few of my favorite blogs. Love and peace to all. Hey, how about AI? I am thinking it is a David vs. David thing!

Weenie dogs

2008-04-16T19:56:00.000-07:00

So the big weenie dog races is coming up. It is the last Saturday of the month. I have already been working on Dooley's costume for the big parade. I won't say what it is because I want to surprise you!

Viva Las Vegas!

2008-04-10T20:25:00.000-07:00

Well, I am back from Vegas and I had a blast! We got there early Friday morning. 9am and got to the resort in no time. We stayed at the Stratosphere which by the way rocks! We checked in and went out to the casino floor to hit some slots. I was playing a penny slot machine when after about 3 pulls I hit a $100 pot. I cashed out and we went to eat breakfast. Then back to the floor for more slot action. I was playing blazing 7s and kept hitting pots of $30-200. Just enough to keep you playing and happy. Of course, there were the free drinks they kept bringing us. I was drinking double grey goose and cranberry juice drinks and my sister was drinking double crown and waters all weekend long. We turned in fairly early having been up since 3am that night and got up bright and early the next morning planning on getting a car and doing some exploring.We went downstairs and sat down at the wheel of fortune. I hit a $500 jackpot and cashed out! WHoo hoo! We went for breakfast then to get the car. We weren't able to get the car because apparently you have to have 3 major credit cards no debit cards accepted and 2 forms of photo ID. SO, we nixed that idea and went back to the casino. I sat down at the wheel of fortune and bam hit another $500 pot! I was up over $1000 and it wasn't even noon! We continued to roam the casino floor and play whatever struck our fancy! My sister was liking the Elvis slot machine but I didn't feel the love from the king and instead headed over to the John Wayne slot machines. I hit another pot for $300. I played it in honor of my cousin Linda who loves John Wayne! We went to a show that evening where drinks were $15.00 a piece and drank over $100 worth of crown and grey goose! Then we were back to the free drinks and playing poker. We ended the night with dinner at the top of the world restaurant where we ate $200 worth of food and drink. The best martinis ever! We were living large and loving it,baby! Now, this is where I have to say that really you only need to spend 3 days in Vegas because Sunday I could have jut stayed home on the couch but since that was not an issue we soldiered through drinking and gambling into the night! We did have our dinner in the room that night and forewent the exotic midnight show we had gotten comped to us for spending so much money at the casino. I hate to say it but we never left the resort,in fact we never went outside for 4 days. Monday was the going home day and we headed out to the airport. I was on US Air which I will never fly again. I had a layover in Phoenix and the plane was tiny as were the seats and there was little headroom. The plane was full and it felt like a cattle call. I was so glad to see my girl,Jana waiting out front to pick me up! Tuesday, I woke up hurting from my eyes to my toes. I told Linda this is what it feels like with no booze or drugs! I have been off all week and have been loving every minute f it. I plan on going tomorrow to San Antonio with Jana to see her daughter Kaylee in a competition performance where she plays a character inspired by Lois and Jan! ALCO...HOLIC!!

Dooley and Osa

2008-04-01T06:48:00.000-07:00

The Graduate

2008-03-31T15:19:00.000-07:00

I finally downloaded all the photos on my camera. Here is Dooley with his diploma! Ain't he cute??

I love English

2008-03-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

13) They were too close to the door to close it

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this . . . There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot o f your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .

Fess UP...you like this!

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so..... .. ...... Time to shut UP......!

Oh...one more thing:

What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P

Company Car

2008-03-20T20:50:00.000-07:00

I got a company vehicle today. It is a Honda Element,blue with the company logo on the sides. I guess that rules out roda rage,huh? I am glad to have it though. The Taurus has 139,000 miles on her. She is still going strong but it will be nice to let her rest up for the weekends.
I am planning on staining the concrete in the living room this weekend. I am already tired just thinking about the work involved. Not so much with the actual staining but the whole moving furniture out,cleaning the floor,etc.But it will be so worth it. Once we get it stained I can bring in the rug I bought for the room several years ago. I just could never put it down before now.
On another note Dooley is doing so good in doggy school. Next week he graduates! I am throwing him a graduation party!

2 posts in 1 week !!

2008-03-18T14:34:00.000-07:00

Well, I am home early today. I started early so it's all good! It is storming here and I have been riding around in it all day. I am exhausted! I am supposed to get the company car this week. Anytime actually,but I didn't want to get it today since the weather is so bad! I can just see me freaking out because I can't find the stinkin' windshield wipers! My cousin is ok but she did tell me she could hear Buffy barking all night Sunday night! Poor thing! I bought an orchid a couple of weeks back at one of my favorite shops called Happiness. It has the most beautiful purple blooms on it. The lady says it is easy to grow...we'll see about that!

South by southwest is over thank goodness. I was having a time trying to navigate all the closed roads and tourists in town! I am thinking the new Counting Crows album is coming out next week. I cannot wait! I love them long time!!!

I did buy the most fabulous earrings ever this weekend! I did take a picture but well we all know that I have no way of downloading them. I will try to get to the store this week promise! I have so much to show you guys! Ok, I have to go for a walk with Dooley. He is doing well loose leash walking y'all I am so proud of my little man!

Bye Bye Buffy

2008-03-14T15:44:00.000-07:00

Well, my cousin Linda had to put Buffy down today. She was almost 17 yrs. old,blind,deaf,and incontinent of both urine and feces. She was in pain and it was way past time but as we with pets know it is a devastating blow! I came hoem last night from doggie school with Dooley and she was crying and I knew something was up. She said she knew it needed to be done and she just had to wrap her mind around it was all.She has a friend who said she would come over and inject an air bubble into her vein and she would just go to sleep but I told her uh, no, that would hurt her and it would not be a good way to go. I told her if she took Buffy to my vet I would pay for it but she said no she would pay for it so she did take her into the vet this morning.
On a bright note though, Dooley is doing so god at doggy school. You know, forever he would not sit on command but just this past week he started doing it on the rug in front of the toilet. So, whenever I would come home from work and go to pee he would come in and sit in front of me on the little rug. So, I started praising him for it and started keeping the training treats by the pot! I know it sounds unorthordox but it works. So, last night at school I told the instructor he would sit but I needed a rug. She put the rug down and I told him to sit and lo and behold he did! Then we worked on lay down and again he did! he was so proud of himself! I was about to bust I was so proud! He is adorable to say the least. I want to download some pictures for you but he has chewed thru the camera cable so it is a trip to best buy for me tomorrow.
I am on call this weekend and by the look of my schedule I will be busy both days. Oh well, money in my pocket,baby!I am so enjoying being a road nurse. I have had a new nurse with me all week and she is so sweet but it does slow me down! But hey, whatever it takes. At least, I am not tied to that stinking desk.
I am still on my diet and I weighed the other day and I have lost over 60 pounds so far! I can really tell in my clothes and my mobility. Between the weight loss and the getting to walk and move around so much more now that I am out in the field my knees are so much better. Not to say they do not hurt because they do and will but unless I do something like climb stairs which I had to do yesterday(ouch)I am much more mobile!
I am going to Las Vegas on the 4th of next month. My sister Anna who lives in Fort Worth has a friend who lives in Vegas and she is gettin married. Anna asked me if I wanted to go and I said oh yeah! We will be there from the 4th to the 7th. Too bad I don't know the Vegas Princess that well or we could meet up! Maybe next time! We are staying at the Stratosphere!I have a change bottle that I will cash in and use that for my gambling money! I got a good deal on the air fare on priceline.com but my flight leaves Austin on the 4th at 5am! Hello!
The town is crazy this week. South by Southwest is going on and the rodeo is on town. So, needless to say there is a lot more traffic to deal with. I am staying far away from downtown this weekend!
I am so digging American Idol this year. I love the biker nurse chick so much. She sounds like Janis Joplin! But my money is on little David Archuletta for the win!I am also addicted to Survivor! I am such a tvidiot!
I am listening these days to Amos Lee. If you do not know who this is run out and buy any of his CDs. You will not be dissappointed!I cannot wait for the new Counting Crows album to come out. It is due out any day now!
Well, I guess that is all for right now.I can't think of anything I haven't told you that I wanted you to know!I am off to check out my peeps sites and see what you are up to these days. I hven't checked my email in a week and have over 200 emails! Geeze!

You Know You're a Nurse If...

2008-03-08T11:13:00.001-08:00

1) the front of your scrubs reads "Nurses... here to
save your ass, not kiss it!"

2) you occasionally park in the space with the
"physicians only" sign... and knock it over.

3) you believe some patients are alive only because it's
illegal to kill them.

4) you recognize that you can't cure stupid.

5) you own at least three pens with the names of
prescription medications on them.

6) you believe there's a special place for the
inventor of the call light.

7) you believe that saying "it can't get any worse"
causes it to get worse just to show you it can.

8) you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.

9) you believe that any job where you can drive to work
in your pajamas is a cool one.

10) you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil..

11) eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is
perfectly natural.

12) you've been exposed to so many x-rays that you
consider it a form of birth control.

13) you've even heard a patient with a nose ring, a brow
ring, and twelve earrings say "I'm afraid of shots."

14) you've even placed a bet
on someone's blood alcohol level.

15) you've told a confused patient that your name is that
of a coworker and to call if they need help.

16) your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's
water tank.

17) you have seen more penises than any prostitute could dream of.

18) you believe that not all patients are annoying...
some are unconscious.

19) your family and friends refuse to watch medical
sitcoms with you because you spend the whole time
correcting everyone and pointing out upside down
x-rays.

20) you don't get excited about blood, unless it's your
own.

21) you've sworn to have "do not resuscitate" tattooed on
your chest. Soon.

22) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is perfectly normal to you.

23) your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down
to eat.

24) your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift
change.

25) you believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.

26) you believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a
recognized diagnosis.

27) you believe that the government should require
permits to reproduce.

28) you believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who utters the phrase
"Wow, it's really quiet, isn't it?

29) you have even wanted to write a book entitled "Suicide: getting it right the first time."

30) you have ever had a patient look you straight in the
eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there."

31) you've had to leave a patient's room before
you begin to laugh uncontrollably.

Playing Hookey

2008-02-27T10:04:00.000-08:00

I am playing hookey from the "w" today. I am sitting at home in front of the TV and the keyboard! It took me a while to catch up with all of my favs but here I am. I am still enjoying the job but felt it was time for a break. It was so cold when I got up this morning it was 35 degrees! That is cold especially when it was 95 degrees Monday afternoon! Let's see what has happened since we last posted?? I went to a baby shower for a cousin of mine Saturday night. I know, I know , calm down already. I said she was a relative. I tried getting drunk but there wasn't enough wine in the house for that. I mean really, is there ever an end to the shower shit?

My Auntie who lives out in Wimberly is having a birthday Friday the 29th. that makes her 17th birthday! We are throwing her a party in WImberly at a BBQ place that serves booze and has live music! Looking forward to it.

I gave my cane up this week. I was sitting at a stop light and this poor guy had a sign up for money and when I gave him a couple of bucks and some clean socks he limped over to the car barely making it. I asked what was wrong and he said he had hip surgery and was out of his wheelchair. I asked him if he had a walker or a cane and he said he had a cane and someone stole it from him. So, I reached in the back seat and handed him my cane and told him if someone tried to steal it to beat them with it! Those streets are mean. I don't know if you realize it or not but all too often homeless people are jacked and robbed of what little they have. I know of one guy who is deaf that get rolled at least 2 times a week.That ain't right! Like I always say I will give you money to remind me how good my life is brother! Want to know if they are homeles or just scamming? Look at theor feet. Homeless people live in their shoes 24/7. They usually have trench foot which is why I like to wash thier feet and give them clean socks if they will let me. They are in pain folks! So, next time you see them give them a dollar for me ok?

On a lighter note, Dooley the weenie is doing much better in doggie school! He just is not sitting or laying down on command. I guess when you are already 2 inches from the ground it is just redundant to get any lower. He will however sit on the couch and lay on the bed. Smart guy. Yesterday morning it was cold and I had my jacket sitting on the couch. Dooley burrowed in under it to get snug and warm. I got up off the couch to go into the bedroom and when I came out he was laying on the floor thrashing about like a fish out of water. Seems he had burrowed into a sleeve of the jacket with his head poking out of the wrist part of the sleeve. He tried coming out that way only to be stuck. I guess when I got off the couch he tried to get up too and ended up falling on the floor flailing about when I found him. I wish I had a movie camera. I did take pictures but again am having trouble downloading them. But take my word for it was funny!

New Post

2008-02-19T15:30:00.000-08:00

Wow! I cannot believe it has been so long since I last posted.I am so enjoying my new job in the field. I work maybe 4-6 hours/day. I go all over the place. Last week I went out to Burnet/Inks Lake. It is in the hill country. I was driving out in the boonies surrounded by granite and marble hills filled with scrub brush and prickly pear cactus with lots of longhorns and black angus cattle scattered along with sheep and goats to boot! Then this week I was out between Elgin and Bastrop driving down road canopied by tall pine trees! I love the scenery and the people I meet are some of the best in the world! I am so loving this!

Ok, what else has been going on? I saw Velvet Revolver since my last post. I was in the VIP/handicapped section of course. I was so close to Slash I could smell his hair burning from the lit ciggy in his mouth! Let me tell you this though, Scott, the lead singer is one ugly SOB! He is skinny as a rail and had one tooth missing and another one broken! He looks like a homeless junkie! He was good though! It was a great concert!

Hope everyone had a great VD! I call it single awareness day! LOL! Dooley and I are going to doggie school. He is actually a pretty good student. Weenie dogs are smart but stubborn! We go every Thursday evening at 6pm! Yea Dooley! He is the cutest dog in the class of course!

How good is Collective Soul? I think they are one of the best bands ever! They have a new DVD and they are playing with the youth symphony orchestra of Atlanta.It is so good. If you haven't seen it then rent it and then buy it because you will want to after seeing it! Counting Crows have a new album due out next month! That means touring again! I am so ready to follow them all over Texas and parts of New Mexico if need be!

To answer your question Cyndy about my job. I work on a point system. I have to make 25 points/week. Each admit visit is worth 2.5 points. So I only have to make 5/day. If I don't have 2 admits then I make it up by doing regular visits or recerts(2 points) resumpuption of care(2 points) so as you can see I stay busy enough. I always go over productivity. Anything over 25 points is extra money. Last pay period I had 6 extra points($210), plus all the money I get for milage(40cents/mile) I made $700 more than I did in the office working every Sat. for extra money and I bet I only worked 20 hours a week!Now, I don't work the weekends!LuckY!I don't get much time on the computer though. My cousin is usually on it in the evenings and I sit and watch TV or something!

Ok, enough for now I need to go check out some of your sites to see what is new with all of y'all!

OMG I Have SO Much To Tell You!

2008-01-29T12:29:00.000-08:00

Hey there everybody! I am back after a week of being out of pocket in the blogging world! I got fired from my job last Wednesday afternoon! Yes! Shut up! I did! My boss, who I love by the way, came to me with the weirdest look on her face and I said " what am I in trouble?" She nodded yes and I said" are you firing me? " She said we are going to have to let you go! I said" why what did I do wrong?" She told me that it was a corporate decision that I had alienated a referral source and it is all about the money honey with corporate so I was fired rather than even have a inkling of thought that we would lose a referral meaning loss of revenue! I know I know! Me too! I was dumbfounded! But in true Poody form I said" you don't want to fire me!" She said no she didn't but it was not her decision. She looked like she was gonna cry!I said" don't you want to counsel me like verbal warning or written warning?" I just got the best evaluation of my life less than month ago! I told her she should just put me back out in the field! She asked if I was willing to do this. I said "Hell yes! I love doing patient care. I am a nurse. I am not into making people happy. I make people feel better and if you feel better then you are happy. If you are not sick and not happy and you are looking to me to make you happy then it is probably not going to happen." I went to nursing school not charm school people! I suggested she put me out in the field to do all the admits on the patients. I am good at it and my documentation is great. Then she said" yea I like that idea. You could also precept all the new employees and show them the ropes in the field."She told me to just pack up my office and go home taking a vacation day for the next 2 days and she would work on making this happen and call me the next day. I went home in shock to say the least and had the weirdest dream about being in Iraq hiding from the Taliban with Stockard Channing who was married to a Muslim man(he beat her). Hey, I have no idea why but that was the dream. Anxiety I guess. I got a call the next morning from the boss and she asked how I was doing. I said" I don't know how am I doing?" She said she thought I was doing great and then offered me the job of being the admit nurse for the company. I have to do 2 admits a day and orient all new staff. Y'all it is a great gig! I started my day yesterday at 8:40 am and finished by 3pm. Today, I left the house at 8:30am and got home by 1:15pm. I am done people. They are also giving me a company car with a company gas card! No more getting up at 6:30am to leave the house by 7:10 to get to work by 8am. No more getting off at 5pm to battle traffic and get home at 6 or later. Hell, most of time I never even left work till 6 or later. I am salaried so all that time after 5pm was free time for them. So, I am thinking getting fired for me was the best thing to happen in a long time! The down side of it is I am not on the computer as much as I was when I was in the office but it is all good. I promise to check in on everyone at least once a week maybe more. My home computer is so fucking sloww I tell ya it "works" me! am looking into getting a whole new system to tell the truth. I have to see how much income tax return I get first.I want you to know that during all that turmoil I never cried or got upset. I just prayed to God and said you know God, I know you have a plan for me but I cannot for the life of me figure it out. I am leaving it in your hands. I had what alcoholics call an epiphany of sorts. I mean , I just gave it up to a higher power! And in true God form he bailed me out of a tough jam and gave me a wonderful gift! Thank you Lord!

Morning Thoughts

2008-01-21T07:13:00.000-08:00

this is from Lynda's blog. I thought it was fun. Try it yourself!
Zeuss
Only Fools are Positive.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random You use the title of the first article for your band name.
http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 Use the last four worrds from the last quote for the title of the album for your band.
http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/ Use the third picture no matter what for the album cover shot.

I hope everyone had a great weekend. I know I did. I didn't work this weekend because I had been sick the week before and wanted to make sure I was well rested. I am sorry for this now that I see my paycheck. Can you say budget? I am on one for the foreseabble future!
I went to the IMAX theatre this weekend. Myself and 2 girlfriends went to see a documentary on Botswana and their huge wildlife preserve. It was in 3D and so cool!You could almost reach out and touch the animals.I want to go back and see the 3D movie about dolphins and whales now! They are going to have U2 concert on the screen next month.
My good friend Kelly is a BIG U2 fan so I am sure we will all be going to see that one.There was a big wedding reception going on at the museum where the IMAX is housed. It was a big fancy affair and we tried in vain to crash it but the guard shooed us out. Dang it looked like fun too!
It got down to 15 degrees here Saturday night! I am not a fan of the cold weather especially that cold! There is just no sense in all that. Heck! I don't even own any clothes for that kind of weather! I was thinking about that last night while watching that football game between Green Bay and new York. it was cold there and some of those guys didn't have anything on their arms! And the fans must have been freezing their butts off! My friend Jana's husband Dale says yesterday was his favorite day of the year. He looks forward to it more than the Super Bowl because he gets to see both games to determine the players in the Super Bowl.
Today is a holiday for Martin Luther King's birthday. There is always a parade downtown.Today is a crappy parade day though. it is cold and rainy with no sunshine at all! My cousin works for the state so she has the day off. jan and jana are both off too!I am jealous and wish I had it off too! I know they will go do something fun! WAH!Hope everyone has a great day!

Happy Period???

2008-01-17T14:45:00.000-08:00

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to
American
company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine
products.
She really gets rolling after the first paragraph...

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over
20
years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without
the
Leak Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never
go
horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer
clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white
shorts.
But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary
Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to
realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I
can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing
there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever
suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my
time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can
already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my
body.
Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be
transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred
hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no
doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens
during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'.
Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and
cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings,
crying
jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a
tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my
friend
Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's
testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told
her
he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.
Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that
America
is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants...
Which
brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in
the
throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my
body
and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and
there,
printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a
Happy Period.'

Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of
your tiny middle-manager masculine brain really think
happiness
- actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a
menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the
least
bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?

FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there
will
never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to
jack
yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your
house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's
armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your
life
in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head
out,
man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi
pad,
wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually
pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular
Manslaughter is Wrong', or 'Consider the implications of 25
to
life,' or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that,
effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits,
for I
have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And
though
I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one
minute miss your brand of condescending bulls*t. And that's
a
promise I will keep.
Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons

Austin, TX

OMG!!

2008-01-17T10:08:00.000-08:00

I am so excited I just found out The Counting crows are putting out a new album in march Saturday nights and Sunday mornings. If you go to their website site at countingcrows.com you can download 2 songs off of it for your MP3 player or just listen to them. One is kind of heavy for them anyways! I am so excited. As you may know they are my favorite band ever!
I am feeling so much better thank everyone for your wishes. I so laughed my butt off last night watching American Idol in Dallas. Leave it to the Texans to come out in full force for the crazies. the last guy thought from Nevada was the best! Honestly though, I really liked the girl Katy from Houston. I am gonna say she was my favorite for real.

Back to "W"

2008-01-16T08:35:00.000-08:00

Well, I made it into work today. I am sitting in here coughing up a lung but hey the seat is filled! I have no idea how old folks make it through this shit I tell ya I have never been this sick before at least not that I can remember anyways.My nose is runnig like a river of snot! Yummy! My eyes are watery and I look like death eating a cracker. Everyone is avoiding my office for fear of contracting this fucking flu! I don't think I am contagious but I do sound horrible. No singing for me today! I just wanna lay my head on my desk and take a little nap right now. My office is cold as usual. I have a little space heater that I keep going at my feet.One of the girls is bringin me soup for lunch. I am so sick of soup I cannot tell ya but I have no taste for anything. I have lost some more weight as a result so I am thankful for that but I am done with it and ready to get back to normal. Wah! I hate being sick!
I am so glad that American Idol is back! Who saw last night? Let my people go!Tonight they are in Dallas always a fun place to visit in my book.

Flu Zone

2008-01-14T08:48:00.000-08:00

Well,I am officially off vacation. I spent my vacation in bed with the flu. In fact, I am still at home with the flu! My cousin(roommate) got sick on my birthday the 5th. She was feeling pretty bad and by Sunday she was down for the count. I sequestered her in her bedroom and looked after her. By Wednesday when I was goijng to leave town I was sick and in the bed as well. I am still tryin to kick this shit! I didn't get a flu shot this year but rest assured I will never ever go without one again! I am miserable not to mention the fact that my vacation was a total bust! I have a crouppy couch and my nose is like a faucet stuck in the on position! My head is about to burst with all the pressure! Misreable! That is is. i thought I could sit here and type more but alas I am done for!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2008-01-04T08:20:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is my birthday! I am also on vacation starting tomorrow. Actually at 5pm today! GO me! I am so looking forward to not being at the "w"! I got a beautiful martini glass from my boss. It is studded in red rhinestones and has little red hearts painted all over it! I cannot wait to break it in! LOL! I am sitting at the "w" now listening to the best radio station in the world! KGSR. They play all kinds of music except for top 40. If you love music go to kgsr.com and listen to it yourself. It has an Austin flair for sure!
I just found out Velvet Revolver is coming to town! The tickets go on sale tomorrow 10am on the internet. Now, if I can get my slow ass computer to work in the morning...Wish me luck! I am so going to that concert! It will be in a small venue so the tickets will go FAST!
Today is the Rat Bastard's birthday! I always hated that. I like to start my birthday festivites as early as possible and with im it was all about him on the 4th! Whatever! Not anymore! In fact, I have deemed it my birthday weekend and possibly week! Side note, It is Michael Stipe's birthday today too! RB always hated him and REM! Not me I love them long time! He thinks MS is a homosexual! And I would care because...
Radio Freedom!
I saw Adrian yesterday with his little brood! He now has the 5 year old brother of Sarah, Jordan. he is adorable and smart as a whip to boot! I fell in love immediately! I gave them all Christmas presents and they were happy. Brock is doing well and has had no more seizures to date! He looks healthy. Adrian is still mourning the loss of Caden, poor thing! But now, he has the whole little family Jordan, Sarah, and Brock. How wonderful is that?
Ok gotta get back to the "w"! HAppy birthday to me!

Happy New Year!

2008-01-02T07:15:00.000-08:00

Hey there! I hope everyone had a great New Year's celebration! I ended up staying home and watching the mexicans next door spill out of the house and drunk drive down the road. They were having a grand old time and myself and the neighbor across the street sat in the front yard drinking wine and watching them hoot and holler and pop a bunch of fireworks. It has been so dry here I was afraid they may set my house on fire! That would not do at all. The dogs were also freaked out from all the noise and stuff. I missed my friend Gail's party and I have not spoken to her since.I hope it was a good one. That's the 2nd party in a month I was invited to but did not attend. I am getting old!

Speaking of which,my birthday is Saturday! I am taking a vacation starting the 5th and ending the 14th. I have no special plans other than not working. I may go to Dallas -Forth Worth and hang out with my family and friends up there for a few days. Forth Worth has a few museums worth looking into.

I was pretty good about the whole diet thing over the holidays I was tempted to eat all the little candies and sweets people kept bringing to work. I did however have a chicken fried steak with a baked potato loaded with sour cream,butter,bacon bits and cheese yesterday topped off with a Dr Pepper with cherry and vanilla.It was good too. But that was all I ate yesterday. Nothing else. No black eyed peas for fortune or greens for prosperity. I do that every year and still I am poor!

Today, I am back on track but know that my birthday is looming ahead. I have already decided to stay on track and my cousin and I will be going to Lockhart for the best BBQ in the world at Kreuz's Market. They have prime rib and ham on the weekends! Yummo!I can get into all that and maybe even a little low carb ice cream for deserrt. The Elvis show is that night so I am sure to dance off any extra calories I may pick up!

I did see my family this past weekend. I met up with my 2 sisters and my mom at my friend Nancy's house which is about half way between me and them. We went into this little town Lorena and had a nice lunch and then shopped in their town square. They have all these little antique shops along the streets. One of them is in the old bank building and one of them was in the old post office building. If I had some money I could do some damage. I thought of you Cazzie and all the pretty stuff you would fill your home with.

My mom gave me an IPOD nano which I have yet to figure out. It have an account with the ITUNES store but I cannot register my IPOD! WHATEVER!My 2 sisters gave me a red sweater set and a docking speaker for the IPOD so I can listen to it in the house! GRRRR! I wish I could figure this shit out!

While we were having lunch my mom pulled off this ruby and diamond ring and handed it to me asking if it fit.It was too small and I gave it back to her and told her I didn't want any of her jewelry except for my grandmother's wedding ring that she wears with her own wedding rings. She took it off and gave it to me. It is platinum with 9 diamonds in the band. I love it so much. My grandmother raised me and she is more like my mom than my real mother. My mom has had the ring since Grandmother died in 1989. My sister, Angela was not happy with this as she thinks she should have any and everthing of my mom's. I heard my mom tell her later that when they got home she would let her go through her rings and get what she wanted. I could care less. I am so proud of this ring. It is the most precious thing I own.

I will try to come back later this week before I go on vacation but I wanted to wish everyone a great New Year!

Goodbye Caden

2007-12-28T06:42:00.000-08:00

My friend Adrian is losing his little boy Caden today. He is 8 months old and has been with him since he was 4 months old. he spent the first 4 months of his life in the back seat of a car with his crackhead mother. he was listless and smelled like smoke when he came to live with Adrian and patrick. he is now a happy healthy animated little guy who is loved and cherished by all of us. His paternal grandmother is going to have custody of him. I think he is autistic and worry that she will not have the skills nedded to care for this special boy. Adrian says if she doesn't treat him well he will go tip over her trailer! LOL!

Other news, I had a sex dream last night. it was weird too. I dreamt that I was making out with the guy from Six Feet Under,he was Claire's boyfriend,Gabe, whose little brother accidentally killed himself with a handgun. He was kissing me and it was like kissing a dead fish! I was dissappointed to say the least. I mean, really now, can I not have a decent sex dream? I am not particularly attracted to this guy and in the dream I was thinking that if he was this crappy of a kisser then I was not sure if I wanted to go any farther with him. We were on the U.T. campus and I needed to go to pee so I went looking for a restroom. But, then it turned into one of those dreams where you need to pee but the bathroom is out of order or the door on the stall is gone, toilet is gone,can't find the restroom, that sort of thing. It is usually then that I wake up having to pee really bad!

Post Christmas Update

2007-12-27T14:23:00.000-08:00

Hope everybody is doing okay after the big day! I worked the morning seeing a few diabetics and was done and home by 9am! I made $300 from 6:30 to (am. That's what I'm talking about! I met up with 3 other nurses and one them had her 20 year old daughter in tow at the Four Seasons Hotel(posh) *****. We ate at their Christmas buffet. It was so GOOD! I had sea bass, lamb chop, pork loin, beef wellington, huge boiled shrimp, cracked crab legs,assortment of fine cheeses, bread,dried apricots,chicken salad(my favorite),ambrosia salad,an artichoke, fresh mozzarella cheese and pepper with crouton salad,(to die for), carrots and brocolini with an orange sauce, asparagus with blue cheese and walnuts, and mimosa to drink. Then we moved into the desserts: OMG! triple layer chocolate fudge cake, white chocolate cheesecake(the best ever), eggnog pudding, a multi layered cake with white cake strawberry mousse, and kiwi mouse, pecan pie, this little fudge covered cake with layers of dark and milk chocolate mousse(delicious)sticky toffee pudding(okay)some kind of rice pudding with rum raisin and coffee. I tell ya I ate and ate and then rested and ate some more. Hey, for $73 and some change I am getting my money's worth! I was miserable of course and went home to lay on the couch watching TV with Dooley. I got up again and went to my friend Jana's house and had supper with them. Lasagna(yummy), bow tie pasta with a spinach and pesto sauce,some kind of bread with cheese and mushrooms cooked right into it,peach cobbler, blackberry pie, ice cream, 3 different kinds of fudge,and vodka with diet cherry 7-up(hey a girl has to watch her figure)! Lord Jesus, I was in a carbohydrate coma after that. I slugged home and went to bed without even taking a bath! Sorry Dooley! I woke up with a chocolate hangover! Bleck!I am still no wanting chocolate so much anymore! But, my oh my, to be able to eat what ever and when ever I wanted it! I have never before been such a glutton! I was back on track doing the low carb thing though yesterday! I have a chocolate orange sitting in the fridge as I type. I always get one for Christmas The Rat Bastard always gave me one and now my cousin Linda puts one under the tree for me! Sweet girl! I gotta get back to the "w" Looks like a long night for me!

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-24T07:30:00.000-08:00

Caden, Sarah, and Brock The foster kids I love so very much!

Below is a copy of my favorite cookies! I hope you enjoy making them as much as I do!

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies:

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl,
check the Cuervo again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer.. Beat one cup of butter in
a large fluffy bowl.

Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK. Try another
cup...just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup
of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor...

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry
it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves
a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain
your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can
find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall
over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the
Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Cherry Mistmas

More About Brock

2007-12-21T06:59:00.000-08:00

He is home now and doing much better since he had a ventriculostomy! He was in the office with Adrian and his partner Patrick yesterday for the office Christmas party. Sarah was there as well. Adrian had Brock's chart with him and we were reading through it. I was so appalled by the things I read. He had several fractures I think I had mentioned before but even I had no idea the extent of the damage done. Remember he is only a few weeks old as in less than 12 weeks old.When he was first brought to he ER for his diaper rash, he also had the following;both ankles fractured,both knees fractured, and a pelvic fracture. Also the 11th and 12th ribs were fractured along with his skull fracture!Yep, you are reading this right!

Adrian said he was having breakfast with some friends of his the other day and he was showing someone a picture of Brock. It was back when he was still in the hospital and Sarah saw the picture and asked him what was wrong with Brock. Adrian told her he had been badly injured and was at the hospital to get all fixed up. She then said "Mommy beats on Brock". Needless to say the whole room went quiet as everyone stared open mouthed at her.I ask you, how can anyone be so cruel and heartless as to beat on an infant? It makes me kind of mad at God. I mean, why would He let something like that happen to such an innocent helpless being? You got some 'splainin' to do!

He is the best little thing too. he eats well and when he finishes he curls up on your shoulder and goes to sleep. he is a bundle of joy! I could hold him for hours! His little breath on my neck smelling like formula and baby! He is even adorable while passing gas in my arms! HAAHA!

I am going over to their house on Christmas day. They have a 5 year old brother who lives in a foster house not too far from them. He will be at Adrian's on Christmas day and Adrian says he is in the process of getting him too. He feels it is important to keep the 3 of them together if at all possible. He will come to live with them on the 27th! Not far off now! That will give Adrian and Patrick 4 kids altogether. They already had Caden, the 8 month old baby boy they have had since he was 5 months old. Wow, full house! They couldn't be happier!Neither can I ,knowing I get to share the holidays with them!

A Christmas Card for You All!

2007-12-20T07:09:00.001-08:00

Dentist Day

2007-12-18T06:56:00.000-08:00

I thought everyone could use a nice picture of sweet Dooley! It is an old picture but how cute is he? Really!

I have a dental appointment this afternoon. Just a cleaning but it will get me out of the office this afternoon! Whoo hoo! I am so ready for my vacation. I am taking it after the holidays. I haven't decided what I will do yet if anything. I may just stay at the house and do day trips around Austin. I haven't made up my mind yet.

I got a present from one of the girls in the office this morning. It is a leash holder for the wall and it says no outfit is complete without dog hair! How true! We slept last night with the front door inlocked. I guess I live in a good neighborhood because we woke up not dead and nothing gone. Dumb asses! I thought Linda had locked the door and she thought I did!

I am so proud of myself this morning I put on a sweater that is like 2 sizes smaller than the clothes I have been wearing and in it I can tell I have lost weight. I am looking... not bad people!Hopefully, by this time next year, I will be shopping in the front of the store! Steph, I am gonna need some designer clothes. I know you can get them in your fabulous high fashion job! Hook me up!

This morning something else happened that I am so grateful for and that is I woke up without pain! I know this sounds trite but I have wicked bad osteoarthritis and live in pain constantly but this morning I woke up and my knees were not screaming and my shoulder is not hurting either. Now by the end of the day, I could have a different outlook but I am grateful for ever how long it lasts. A truly wonderful gift! I laugh when I tell people that pain free days are so infrequent that I mark them on the calendar.

We had a big meeting this morning in the office for the office staff about bonuses and tiers and the like. Basically, it means we get nada this year or the next. If we meet the goals set forth for census and budget we can get bonuses based on this for the year 2009. Crap on a cracker! What about all the hard work done this year or next year! I see this as a load of bullshit. And we all know that money talks, bullshit walks and right now it is walking all over me! I don't even know if I will be here in 2009. Man, I gotta get my drink on!

I am reading a great book called A Thousand Splendid Suns. It is about Afghanistan.I have it on audio CD and listen to it on the way to and from the "W".I read the author's last book The Kite Runner. Also a great read. Check it out! Ok, I am off to save the world of old sick people! Hope eveyone out there has a wonderful day. And notice it is Tuesday which are historically bad days for me but not today! Peace out!

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

2007-12-14T15:06:00.001-08:00

I have been working for the same company for 5 years now and every Christmas we get a Christmas bonus which is anywhere from 300 to 1000 dollars right before Christmas. Today we found out there is no bonus.Seems we are now going to get the bonuses based on our performance at the "w". Hello, I have been doing this freaking job alone now for 3 years. Let's not forget the talker who made my life hell and the workload doubled. I get paid a salary for 40 hours a week but am usually here from 8am to 7-8pm every night that is free work for them. I also work every Saturday to help out the field staff. I mean how much more performing do you need from me to give me a lousy bonus because believe me when I say the big dogs are probably getting a bonus for sure. They were all here too yesterday all smiles and how are ya's! Whatever! They knew back in June I bet we weren't getting a bonus but no, let's wait and tell them 2 weeks before Christmas that they are not getting any money. We all count on that bonus to buy presents. In my case, I forgo the bills that are due to buy presents and wait to pay them with the bonus check! I know we should never expect the bonus but like I said 5 years running. One of the office clerical staff is so upset she says they will have to forgo Christmas altogether because she does factor that in to her budget. Guess she paid her bills already. I hope I get cash for Christmas because I need it!Fuck it I am off to get my head stuck in some kind of liquor bottle! I said good day!

What a week!

2007-12-12T11:18:00.000-08:00

Baby Brock after surgery.

Hey! I have been so very busy at the "W" lately. I have been going home at 7-8pm every evening. The good thing about that is the traffic is all gone and it only takes me 20 minutes to get there. But, the bad thing is I am at "W"!

It is cold and rainy here today. The weather has been schizophrenic. Monday, it was hot and humid temp around 78. Tuesday morning, it was in the 40's. Today, it is in the 40's and nasty wet out there! I am not a fan of dreary overcast days. These were always the Rat Bastard's favorite days! Go figure!

My fiber optic tree is dead. The lights just quit working! Whatever! I will just have to put lights on it next year. I ain't buying another dang tree! Unless it's a bright orange one which I saw at Garden Ridge the other day! My cousin says no way! It is not a Christmas color!I have about 2/3 of my Christmas gifting done. I have the package ready for Cory in Australia but doubt if it will see him before Christmas. I am going to send it off this week though! For some reason, I am always broke! I cannot figure it out!

I am still going strong on the diet front. It is going to be a challenge what with all the food people keep bringing to "W"!I swear if I see another tin of butter cookies... I haven't weighed in a long time, back in Sept. Then I had lost over 30 lbs. so no telling how much I have lost now. I do know that all my clothes are hanging off me and this morning I put on a pair of trousers I have not been able to wear in 3 years! Yeah,me!

Sarah is now in preschool so she doesn't come up to the office as much anymore but she is coming up today! We are going to see Santa sometime this week.Y'all she doesn't even know who Santa is! How sad is that? We were going today but Brock is having surgery. He is having a ventriculostomy.This is a procedure to help keep the fluid from building up in his brain! Please pray for him! Adrian is worried for him and is wondering how much permanent brain damage he will have. Not that it matters as far as him coming to live with him. He is dedicated to taking care of him no matter what! I guess when you get kicked in the head when you are 2 months old you have a lot of problems for the rest of your life! If that ain't a pisser to have your whole life fucked up for you I don't know what is. I do fantasize about meeting the parents of these kids and beating the shit out of them and then leaving them for dead! But then again, I think I would take them to the ER afterwards. I am a nurse after all!

The owner and the CEO of the company I work for is here in our offices today. I dressed up for the big event and when i got out of the car this morning and looked down at my clothes I was covered in dog hair! What's up with that? Hey, that's just how I roll! Sad, huh?

My computer at home is all wonky and I fear I will have to toss it! I hope I can retrieve the stuff I have on there. When I went into it last night in the safe mode I could see all my stuff so I am going to Circuit City after I leave here to get some memory sticks to download it all onto. I mean I hope i can do that . Who knows? I guess I will be shopping around for a new computer after the holidays.

Ok, gotta go for now! I hope everyone out there stays warm,dry,and safe! I will be back later to lurk on your blog site! How about them Cowboys! WHoo Whoo!

Friday-Yeah!

2007-12-07T07:48:00.000-08:00

Hey, I got my yearly evaluation yesterday and it was excellent! Seems I am doing a great job! She even told me she was asking the powers that be to give me a bigger raise than what is suggested! How is that for ya?? Finally, I get some props! Represent! Yea, me!

I went to the Children's hospital last night because the baby boy is back in with seizure activity and had to get more fluid drained off his little baby head. They were doing an EEG on him to check for seizure activity overnight. He is so small and those wires are everywhere. I fear he will not get out of all this unscathed. he will most likely have some brain damage from being kicked in the head! Man, every time I think about it my blood boils! How could anyone abuse an infant?? God, I need some answers here!

I am doing the"w" on Saturday to make some holiday bucks! I am so broke it ain't funny people! What do I do with my money?

Sipping Vodka(for Crushed by INGSOC)

2007-12-06T07:50:00.000-08:00

"I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell. I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have the faith needed to move mountains-but if I have no love, I am nothing. I may give away everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned-but if I have no love, this does me no good."
1 Corinthians, 13:1-13

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.' So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, 'Take this and eat it for it is my body.' He did not say 'Eat me'.
12)The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

I'm Sick!

2007-12-04T19:07:00.000-08:00

Baby Brock with Adrian

Yuck! I have been home sick for the last 2 days! I have a sore throat ,cough,and headache! I have been eating zinc,vit. c and trying to take in a lot of fluids. Mostly though, I have been laying on the couch watching TV.I want to go do something somewhere but I can only just make it to the couch and that is about it!

I am going in to the "w" tomorrow. I am going stir crazy! Dooley is digging me being home all week though! He loves laying on the couch watching TV. I watched all the Dexter series up to the latest one,and some videos. The Good German, John Lennon vs US and Ghostrider. I liked the John Lennon one and the Good German has George Clooney, very film noire all done in black and white, but the Ghost rider I slept through so there ya have it. Now come to think of it I slept through National Treasure so maybe Nicholas Cage puts me to sleep!

My friend Annie came by today and brought me a beautiful poinsettia. I love it.It was cold this morning. I had to turn the heater on for a little while to knock the chill off the room.

Adrian got the 2 month old little baby from the hospital Friday afternoon. His name is Brock and he is adorable. He had seizures last night while Adrian was feeding him! He had to go back to the hospital for more shunt work. His head was full of fluid again! He also told me the parents have no intention of getting the kids back. They both look at this as a clean break and new start for themselves. I find this disturbing but also am happy that this means Adrian can adopt them! Hopefully, he will be able to adopt the older brother as well.Keep them in your prayers!

Sarah Smile!

2007-11-30T12:41:00.000-08:00

Ok,so I told you last week about Adrian's new foster daughter,Sarah. She is a very bright and beautiful 3 year old sweetheart. She comes to the office every day and we all are in love with her! She has big blue eyes and long curly blond hair. She is so full of love and is such a joy to be around.

The great state hasn't sent her paperwork to the day care center so until they do she spends her days with all of us here in the office. So many new aunties to spoil her doncha know!

I gave her a little Christmas snowglobe on Monday and she was so excited to get it. I swear she acts like nobody ever gave her anything. She took it and her eyes got bigger and she said "Oh my! For me? To keep forever?" Well, don't you know that I have given her something each and every day since then!Tuesday, I gave her a little nativity set with all the main players,animals, and an angel to boot. She was so happy to get it she hugged my neck hard. I asked her if she knew who Jesus was and she said no! Y'all, she don't know who baby Jesus is! I almost cried right then and there! But, I told her daddy Adrian would tell her the story of Baby Jesus when they got home and she was so happy to hear this she told him take me home now! LOL!

Yesterday, her social worker took her to see her mom in jail. Whatever! She was very upset afterwards and soiled her pants and cried and cried first for mommy then for Adrian. I felt so bad for her. We all did!

Her baby brother is still in hospital with hydro cephalic brain syndrome now. That is a fancy word for he is a waterhead baby! They are going to have to put a shunt in his head to get the fluid off. Poor guy! Adrian brought pictures of him and he is adorable as well.He goes to the hospital every day to see him and hold him!

I think I already told you that the parents took him to the hospital because of a bad diaper rash that had literally burned his skin- 2nd and 3rd degree burns, and that was when they found he had a skull fracture and several old fractures of his body too. He is 2 months old! 2months old! Both parents are in jail now because of the kids! I hate them so much and have never even laid eyes on them!

I cannot wait for Christmas this year! I have already ordered her a beautiful Corolle Les Charies Doll named Camille. She is a ballerina. Do you know how hard it is to find a beautiful doll for 3 year old girl? I had to sort and sift through all manner of Bratz,Barbies, Cabbage Patches, and even a Strawberry Shortcake or two!Then there are the porcelain and collectable dolls! I had no idea! I am going to get her some Disney princess DVDs and a tea set too! I had given her a tiny little tea set one of the first days I saw her and she carries it in her purse! Very special indeed! I love spoiling her! I figure she has had enough bad things happen in her little lifetime that if I can make her happy then I certainly will indeed!

She is asleep on a pallet in my office right this very minute! She said she was not sleepy but I asked her to just lay there and rest and she agreed. About 1 minute later she was conked out! How sweet! I have some pictures of her and I will try to get my camera to download so I can post them and you can see for yourself how beautiful she is!

Hey Gang I,m Back!

2007-11-29T08:11:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone out in blogland had a great Thanksgiving! I went to see my family in Fort Worth/Dallas area.I left here early that morning and got there just in time for it to start snowing! It snowed hard for about an hour but it was too warm for the flakes to stick but it was quite impressive. They were the biggest flakes I have ever seen!

I did some pigging out too. My mom makes the best pecan pie and banana pudding in the world and her dressing is to die for too! Needless to say I was back on the diet wagon by the weekend. I am not used to eating that way and believe it or not my knees hurt much worse when I have sugar in my body! Wah!

Dooley went with me and he is a great travelling weenie! He was well behaved as well. My evil stepfather tried to be mean to him but even he couldn't keep my weenie down! Haha! I spent the night in Dallas at my cousin Tammie's house. She is going through bad divorce and she was a bit of a downer but I love her and will be there for her when she needs me.

The weather sucked(rainy and cold) but I did manage to get some shopping in. I have now bought almost half of my Christmas presents! Yea Me! Not much else to report.

Got the tree put up this week. It is so pretty.I love all my ornaments! I am all about the bling! I have a fiber optic tree. I am allergic to the real ones. I am getting into the spirit this year too. Last year I was not so much but I am feeling it this year. I think it should be like leap year and only come around once every 4 years! I am planning on working Christmas day(double time) but have plans to meet some friends at a swanky hotel downtown for a champagne brunch! Yummy!How about you? Any plans made yet?

Kids and Dogs

2007-11-20T07:09:00.000-08:00

My dear friend Lewis, who almost died 2 years ago from the AIDS is doing so much better now I thank God every day. Anyways, he has a little brown and white speckled weenie(he looks like a cow) named Mork. Anyways, they live in an apartment. Lewis had told me about a month ago that Mork was not happy living alone and being alone in the apartment 12-14 hours a day and was actually becoming destructive in his demeanor. He chewed a hole through the wall of the kitchen! He was very upset and said he had to give him up. He asked me to take him. He is 10 months old and is Dooley's half brother in fact. So, of course, I said yes!

He brought him over to the house Saturday was a week ago now. He is a sweet loving little guy and very smart too. He is house trained and loves to cuddle. He and Dooley get along like a house afire. Except that he is not "fixed" and wants to hump Dooley like nonstop! Dooley, of course, does not like any of that and so they fight. Mork is the dominant one so poor Dooley gets beat up a lot. I thought this would settle down after a period of adjustment and I even made an appointment with the vet to get Mork neutered after Thanksgiving.

Sunday morning everything changed. Dooley and Mork were rough housing as always when I heard this blood curdling scream. It was Dooley and Mork had gotten ahold of his little nose and bit down. Now Dooley has 4 deep gashes in his nose and hunk out of the tip of it where Mork bit him. Poor Dooley! Well, now I start looking at poor Dooley and he is tore up from the floor up. He has scrapes and scratches all over his little weenie body! I felt so bad for him!

I thought about it all night and cried myself to sleep. When I woke up the next morning I had made the decision that Mork had to go. I love him really I do but Dooley is my main man and he is suffering too much from this. I told Lewis it was not working out and that he would need to take him back. I thought he would be like all -oh I miss him and wanted him back anyways but it was more like-great well maybe I can sell him and get some of my money back that I have put out on him!

Well, that upset me to no end! Having been a person who was unwanted and unloved I would never wish that on anyone or thing for that matter. So, I called all my friends to see if someone wanted Mork. I called all my relatives too. Everyone was sympathetic but no takers. I called my friend Nancy who raises weenies and was who Lewis got Mork from to see if she had any ideas.

She called me back and said she had another nurse friend who lives outside of San Antonio who wanted him. I talked with the lady,Cindy is her name last night and emailed her pictures of him. She also has one of his sisters . She and her husband raise them and she told me her children are all grown and the dogs are now the kids in the house. She said she just built a new kennel but that since he is house trained he will probably stay in the house with them! Yea, Mork!

So, she wanted to come and get him last night but we settled on this evening. Her and her husband will drive up from SA to get him. My cousin gets home before me so he will probably be gone when I get home! I am sad to see him go but glad he will be able to hump away and make some babies even!

But, here is the thing... I told Lewis I was giving him to a relative. I don't know why I just did. I mean, really he is my dog now so I can do what ever but I feel like if he knew he went to this lady he would want money for him and I am just happy to place him with a loving family. Am I wrong??

On the kid front, my friend and co-worker, Adrian, owner of the original weenie, Akasha, the red weenie, is a foster parent. He and his partner Patrick, and their roomie, Dwayne have had a little boy Caden, who is now 7 months old. He is so sweet and they are such good parents.

Anyways, yesterday Adrian says I have a surprise for you and he brings this precious little 3 year old girl into my office. She is adorable. She has big blue eyes and blond hair and was dressed so cute! She is shy and at first didn't want to have anything to do with me.

But, I have a goody drawer in my office full of toys for girls and boys. Mostly junk from the $ store but I have learned that with kids it is quantity not quality they enjoy. So after a little coaxing she finally went to the drawer and picked out something. I got a hug out of it.

When I went to hug her I noticed she has bruises on the backs of both arms. Faint old bruises. I said as much to Adrian. He said to me" those are not the worst bruises". Apparently, she has been abused both physically and sexually by her father.

In fact, she has 2 brothers, one 5 and the other 2 months. The 5 year old is living with another foster family about 5 miles ways from Adrian and so he has set it up so that they will both go to the same day care every day so they can see one another at least. The 2 month old will come to live with Adrian after he gets out of the hospital. Yep, he is there with a skull fracture and I think he said a fractured leg as well.I about cried my eyes out after they left my office!

He told me she flinches whenever he moves, like to put his arm around her or even on the back of the couch if they are sitting there watching TV. She is so used to being hit for no reason I guess. He had trouble bathing her as well and said she finally let him bathe her after sitting her down and telling her she was safe in his house.

He told her that in his house no one ever hits anyone else ever for any reason at all.If she misbehaves she will sit in time out and he showed her the chair for this. He told her time out is 3 minutes and quiet time. He also told her that he would never try to do anything to her so when he bathes her he doing just that, bathing nothing more. She is warming up to him and this is good considering she came to him last Saturday night after midnight.

What a great person he is. So full of love and ready to help out when ever needed. I have really come to respect him. I am so in love with this little girl too. I cannot wait till Christmas! I am so buying her all the princess stuff I can find.

She was in here in my office this morning and she was playing with this little snow globe I have with Cinderella in it. Her eyes were so wide and she looked at me and said she loved Cinderella! Me too! I am so spending Christmas day at their house. I already invited myself! HAHA! I just got to get past wanting to cry every time I see her!

New Rules From George Carlin

2007-11-19T09:06:00.000-08:00

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com ! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days --- mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot,blonde teachers are permanently damaged . I have a better description for these kids: 'Lucky bastards.'

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keep sakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Good, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but, without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and One NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering My PIN number, pressing 'Enter,' verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want Cash back, and press ing 'Enter' again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you Spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to 'beef with broccoli.' The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN Recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait, they're already doing that. It's called 'The Howard Stern Show.'

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on c rappy old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: And this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After the guy zips up, some guy is offering him a towel and a mint like he just had sex with George Michael. Is he really supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than Minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, 'Do you want fries with that?'

I love the Job It's the People I hate!

2007-11-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

Conversation between myself and the daughter of a new patient this morning;
Me: Good morning, this is Mary. How can I help you?
Ms. Thang:Yes, Hello I am Mr. Oldfart's daughter.I need to speak with you about the nurse who came out to see my daddy yesterday.
Me: Ok ma'm. Tell me what's going on.
Ms. Thang: Yes, I don't want her coming back out here.
Me: Ok, may I ask why?
Ms.Thang: Well, I just wasn't very impressed with her is all.
Me: Was she inappropriate?
Ms. Thang: No, she was very polite and professional.
Me: Was your father not happy with her visit then?
Ms Thang: No, Daddy liked her good enough I guess.
Me: Ok, well what seems to be the problem?
Ms. Thang: Well, she didn't have the right address for one thing.She called here twice to get directions to the house.
Me: Well, Ms. Thang she is a visiting nurse and she does need to know how to get to someone's house to visit them
Ms. Thang: Well, I know that but I just feel like it was poor planning on her part. She should have had the correct address.
Me: Well, ma'm the address she had was the address the discharge planner at the hospital gave us.If she had the wrong address it was because that was the address on the chart.
Ms. Thang: Well, I understand that and all but then she had to call me twice before she could figure out how to get here. Don't you think that is a little excessive?
Me: I am not sure I do. I mean, if she needed to get to your house where your father is and she didn't know how to get there and she is in her car without the benefit of a map or computer to aid her, then it is appropriate for her to call you to ask for directions.
Ms.Thang:Really? Because I am of the mind that she should know her way around town. You know, I used to do home health 20 years ago and I always knew my way around town.
Me: Yes, ma'm. Well, that nurse has only lived here in Austin for 1 year so she is not as familiar with the town as say someone who has lived here a long time.
Ms. Thang: Exactly! I would like for you to send someone out here who is familiar with this area.And also, the little mexican man you sent out here to bath him is too small. My daddy is a big man. he stands over 6 foot tall in his stocking feet and weighs over 200 pounds. He needs someone height and weight proportionate.
Me: Ma'm, I do not have a home health aide that is 6 foot tall weighing over 200 pounds. Francisco is very capable of bathing you father. he is used to working with all types of patients.
Ms. Thang: Well, another thing is he called here this morning and said he wanted to come over after lunch. I need a more specific time. He just said he would be here between 12-1:30 pm.
Me: That is pretty specific. We never give any of our clients a set time for our arrival.We can never know the flow of traffic or how the patient we see before we see you is going to be. We give everyone a window of time usually between 1-2 hour period.
Ms.Thang: Oh, I can tell we are not on the same page here. You do realize that I have other things to do than sit around waiting for someone to show all day!
Me: Ma'm I can try to work with you to make you happy. Let me talk with the scheduler to see if we can find the right staff members to assist your dad at the house.
Ms.Thang:Yea, you can try, we'll see what happens.
Click-dead phone line

Acroos The Universe

2007-11-14T07:57:00.000-08:00

I saw this movie last night and it was incredible!It is a musical with all Beatles songs.I loved the cast too. The lead guy was an Englishman that was way cute too! Bono and Joe Cocker along with Eddy Izzard were in there as well. I want to see it again in fact.

I was 10 years old in 1967 and so I remember the Vietnam war vividly. We watched the war every evening while eating dinner. I remember being in the 10th grade when they started bringing the guys back home. I had a POW bracelet that I wore for 3 years. My friend Connie and I both had one. Her POW came home and years later we found him adn she gave the bracelet to him. he was very sedate and I remember her being a little dissappointed thinking he should have been more friendly. I guess looking back he was just fucked up in the head like most everyone who came back from over there. My POW never returned. I still have the bracelet and I looked for his name on the Vietnam memorial wall but he wasn't there either. James Elmo Powell.

Anyways, the movie is set in the late 60's early 70's era. I love the look of that time. I was so enamoured by the whole hippie movement. For those of you who are too young to remember those days.It was something else I tell ya. See back then, we had the draft and no one was exempt that I knew. Plus, if you got busted with weed back then you had 2 choices, go to jail for life or go to Vietnam.The war dragged on for what seemed ever. The turning of tide to renounce the war and get of Vietnam was done by the youth of America. I am talking about the hippies. The young kids and college students of the day made so much noise and would not back down even in the face of violence from our own militia they stood firm and protested the war. In fact, in Ohio the National Guard killed several students who were peacefully demonstrating the war. Yes, right here in our own country. There was much unrest in the entire nation.

Thinking about it I feel that is is once again time for the youth of the country to stand up and show this country that the war is wrong and we need to stop NOW !But, somehow, I feel that they are too busy with their IPODS, cell phones, and virtual realities to make a difference like we did so many years ago. But then again, I could be wrong. Prove me wrong!

MondayMonday!

2007-11-12T08:40:00.000-08:00

Well, another weekend has come and gone. I didn't make it to the play as planned on Friday because I ended up spending too much time at work! I was not a happy camper either because everyone else abandoned me and left on time but no one to help me get out of here! GRRR! Oh well, I am sure she was great in it!

I did get the little doggie on Saturday. he is so cute. He is 10 months old. A chocolate piebald is what they call him. He is brown and white spotted. I did take pictures of him and Dooley this weekend. Dooley is warming up to him. he hasn't been fixed and he wants to fuck any and everyone much to the chagrin of all the other dogs! But especially Dooley. he had to lay down the law to him and by yesterday the humping was still going on but much less so.He had a bad first night and none of us slept too well. But last night he went to bed at the last call and slept right next to me all night. This morning when my cousin came in to take her shower he woke up barked at her when she came out but then hopped out of bed to go outside. Dooley's a late sleeper and never gets up until I am ready to leave the bedroom!I fed and watered the dogs as usual this morning and then when I went to lock the slider,Mork was standing there looking at me like,what now? Hopefully he will be OK today in the back yard! I have an appt. to have him neutered on the 26th of this month. I would have liked to have it done before then but it is what it is.

Linda, my cousin, thinks this is too many dogs to have in the house. I said, well, there is your cocker spaniel who is blind,deaf, and demented. She has to stay in the house and I don't see you putting her down any time soon. Then there are the 2 big dogs who have been here 10 years and they are not about to stay outside. Then there is Dooley who is the king of the dogs and he sure as hell ain't staying outside. That just leaves Mork who is potty trained and will also be in here so there you have it. I agree 5 dogs is a lot to have in the house but it is what it is! Nuff said! I cannot choose any of them to be outside dogs.I have dogs because I love them. Why would I make them stay outside?

I have to get back to the "W". I am however going to the store for lunch to get Mork a new collar. He is gonna get a UT Longhorn collar. Dooley sports a Dallas Cowboys collar so my boys will be flying their colors so to speak! I will post some photos as soon as I can figure out why my pictures are not downloading to the computer. I suspect a faulty cable!

Hell yes It's friday!

2007-11-09T07:25:00.000-08:00

I am so glad to be done with this week. It is not that I had a bad week I just am ready to not be here at the "W". I have a play to see tonight. My friend Jana's daughter,Kaylee(16) is in a play at her high school and I have to see her perform. Someday she will be famous and take care of me in my old age!

I just want you to know I got hit on this week by a 24 yr. old guy. What is up with that! He seems to be very horny and wants lots of sex with me! WHATEVER! Could ya not? How come I can't meet somenoen nice and normal. And before you go getting your panties in a wad, no I will not have sex with him. Oh, I thought about it... a lot in fact but ya know if I did that I know he would want to talk to me and then maybe plan on doing other things with me and I am not about to get involved with another young'un. Can i just get a man closer to my own age?

Anyhow, I am going to accquire another weenie dog! His name is Mork and he is a brown and white little guy. He belongs to my dear friend Lewis and he is sad at the thought of giving him up but he says he is never home and he lives in an apt. He is lonely and if he comes to stay by me he will have company. I told my cousin last night that we would be getting a dog to keep for a while. She asked how long a while was and I told her it was Lewis' dog. She knows he has AIDS and so she said ok. That was easier than I thought. I know once she meets him she will fall in love and that will be that! I am already gonna tell her she has to let him sleep with her because he sleeps with Lewis and I have Dooley in my bed! I know once that happens she will be a goner! LOL (evil laugh)

So, what do you have planned for the weekend? Something fun I hope! I am going to work Saturday morning a little bit for some Christmas money! I cannot believe it is so close now! I mean, when you make a list and think about the fact that you have to come up with money for gifts it seems way too close!

This is Cracker Soul!

2007-11-05T08:40:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I had a great weekend! How about everyone else? I started the weekend out with a live music concert on Friday night! I went to this little club down off of Red River and 10th st. called the Mohawk. It is a small little place but the stage was outdoors like on a patio. They had 2 upper levels with seating around tables on the 2nd level and couches and easy chairs on the 3rd level.
I hauled my fat ass up to the 3rd level for comfort and a great view of the whole club! I went with Jana, her very inebreiated husband, Dale, Polly from Hobbs,New Mex., Trina from Naples, Fla., Madison, Polly's daughter, Gail, and Kaylee, Jana and Dale's teenage daughter who came with some of her teeenage friends, and last but not least Drew, a friend of Madison's who we all love to pieces. He is probably about 22-24 yrs old. Ok, so the girls, Polly, Jana, Gail, Madison, and Kaylee and crew all headed to the front of the stage to hang out. Dale, Trina, and Drew all joined me on the 3rd deck for relaxing and libations.
The first band came out and Dale was in fine form! He was up by the railing which was right over the band and he was dancing his little heart out and having a big old time, I tell ya! He gets a little gropy when he gets drunk and wants to pet on ya, so of course, he was petting on me. He likes my long hair and will twirl it around and rub my shoulders and tell me how much he loves me!Whatever! At least, we weren't in the pool! LOL!
He was so funny though because he was doing this dance where he would cast out his fishing line and then reel it back in! Madison was down there acting like the fish he was reeling in and he was pretty much entertaining the whole crowd since he was right there above the band like I said.
Anyways, when Cracker started to play he could not contain hiself and ran downstairs to be behind the "girls". Trina by this time was sacked out on one of the couches "resting". Drew went downstairs to the bathroom and now I am left up there on my own, so to speak, to take in what followed... now stay with me because remember, I can see everything and have been imbibing my own self.
I see Dale down there flouncing all over the place but now he is in the crowd some of which are not as happy or drunk as he is. He is falling all over them and this one guy has a camera in his hands and is attempting to take photos. He also has a girl with him who is getting a beating from Dale and his moshing abilities!
The guy says something to Dale. I assume asking him to calm down and let his girlfriend continue to stand there as well as himself. I see Dale screaming at this guy. Probably something obnoxious as drunks do. I see the guy flinch like he is afraid Dale is gonna smack him and then I see the girl go flying backwards after gettin the elbow from Dale. All on accident I think?
Anyways, the girls are still up front and are oblivious to the whole scene behind them. Then I see the crowd parting and here comes security to the front and the guy is talking to Dale who is now screaming at this little guy. He is a young guy with dreads and glasses. He is now trying without much luck to pull Dale thru the crowd! Dale is fighting him and another bigger guy, the bouncer steps in and puts Dale in a neck lock and drags him to the back! He drags Dale thru the crowd kicking and screaming.
One of kaylee's friends see this and tells Kaylee who goes running back to see what the deal is. She is told that her Dad is drunk and has to leave! She says everyone in here is drunk and why they gotta be picking on him! LOL! Then she runs back up front and tells Jana the deal and the look on Jana's face was priceless. It said I am so pissed off! This better be good!
I see her go outside to stand by Dale and talk to the bouncer who tells her he has to leave the premises. In the meantime he is still yelling and carrying on and a cop car pulls up. She tells him to calm down and asks the bouncer if she can go back in. He tells her yes and she comes back in and is up front again. Drew ,in the meantime, comes literally running upstairs hollering that Dale is going to jail. Trina in the meantime is asleep on the couch and gets rousted by the waiter to wake up. When she hears Dale is going to jail she gets up and runs downstairs to tell the gang who are still enjoying the concert! Little did she know the whole thing had just transpired. Gail then goes with Trina outside to find Dale and the 3 of them walk to Gail's car and bring it to park in front of the bar.
Trina gets carsick on the way and once they get back she pukes and then passes out on the hood of the car. Gail comes back in to the front of the stage and Dale stands in the street yelling "take some more pictures!" and "reggae redneck" to any and everyone.
At one point I did see him talking to a female cop who he later told me was hitting on him because she wanted his phone number. I asked him if she wanted to know where he lived too and he said she did! LOL!
I had about the most fun I have had in forever just watching the whole thing unfold! I kept waiting for Dale to get thrown in jail for PI or Trina to get hauled in too for the same reason but they were allowed to just be! Gotta love a weekend night full of drunks!
After the show we all piled into the cars to go back to Jana's house. I was laughing so hard all the way home listening to Dale's version of the events. Needless to say, Drew who had no idea what he was in store for now has a man crush on Dale. Why I don't know!
All I know is I had to leave at 1:30am because I had patients to see the next morning! I went by to see everyone Saturday afternoon but they were all drinking again and I was done with all of that! I had to go home to bathe and rest up! When I left Dale was telling Drew we don't tell stories, we make them!

Physical Fitness my ASS

2007-11-02T13:24:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to lose weight so I decided to get myself a week's worth of personal training at my health club.

I am not a "exerciser" but thought hey what the hell I will give it a try. it's only one week right?

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Melissa, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:

Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Melissa waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair,dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Melissa gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Melissa was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

TUESDAY:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.

Melissa made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Melissa's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Melissa was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Melissa put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Melissa told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.

THURSDAY :

Melissa was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Melissa took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny bitch in to find me.

Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY :

I hate that bitch Melissa more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Melissa wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.

Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY :

Melissa left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY :

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that I can still continue to lose weight without having to work out. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-31T11:48:00.001-07:00

I hope everyone out there is planning on having a great halloween! It is by far my favorite holiday!

I am staying in tonight and dressing up like a witch. Dooley is dressing up as Dead Elvis!

Stay safe!

Halloween Greetings!

2007-10-30T06:51:00.000-07:00

This is Kaden.Or you can call him Flower! He is the foster child of Adrian and Patrick. He was taken from his crackhead mom and has been with them for about 2 months now.This is his halloween costume. He will so hate this photo when he gets older. He is so sweet.

I had such a good time at Collective Soul over the weekend. I had a great view form the VIP section. We were up above everyone else. They are so good. I think it was one of the best concerts I have ever seen and most definately the best Collective Soul concert I have ever seen. I love them so much!

I didn't go to work yesterday. I was out with a virus. A I don't want to work virus! I had a flat tire. I ran over a nail and it stuck in the side of the tire so I had to get a new one rather than get the other one patched. I have a traffic ticket I have to pay today. I am always shelling out maoney I am not bugeted for so I am once again broke!

I am loving the wheather right now! It is cool on the mornings and then warms up to the 70's during the day! Finally, the heat is gone! The dogs love it too! Dooley spent the whole day yesterday outside which if I am home is unusual for him. He is generally in the house underfoot.

I never know how to end these things! So, that's it!

Collective Soul Tonight

2007-10-26T12:34:00.001-07:00

I am seeing Collective Soul tonight at Stubb's. It is an outdoor venue. I am so excited because this is one of my top 3 favorite bands! I had to call them this week to get a spot to sit down. I told them I was handicapped and I am. I have a placard for the car and everything. Because of my osteoarthitis I cannot tolerate standing for more than say 20 minutes tops! So, I get to sit in the VIP section(with the movie stars)!I can have 1 guest join me so Jan is gonna hang out with me while Jana and Gail stand down front! I am thinking VIP is all about wait staff so can you say vodka martini please? I am so LUCKY!!!(in my best Napoleon Dynamite voice)

What is Butt Dust?

2007-10-25T07:44:00.000-07:00

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The story of the kid in church is my favorite goes like this.... this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust..." He would have continued but at that moment a little girl who was listening leaned over to her mom and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

Yes Sir, things are definately virtually starting to go our way!

2007-10-23T08:19:00.000-07:00

Baghdadis gather round the wreckage to remark on how much more gory the explosions clearly could have been.
Things are definitely starting to almost look up," Donnelly added.
Not-So-Horrible Thing Happens In Iraq

October 22, 2007
BAGHDAD—In a development Pentagon officials are calling not nearly as horrifying as usual, three car bombs ripped through a Baghdad marketplace Monday, killing fewer than 15 innocent civilians, severely injuring no more than 30, and merely maiming one U.S. soldier.

The car bombs, which were detonated by Iraqi insurgents at approximately 2 p.m., left slightly less than complete and utter devastation in their wake. As of press time, barely five families were believed to be trapped beneath the resulting wreckage, although upbeat U.S. authorities have estimated that number could be as low as four.

'[Iraq's] once-appalling conditions become measurably less dreadful with each just barely tragic bombing.'
U.S. Iraq Commander Gen. David Petraeus
"Not bad—not bad at all," said Lt. Col. Michael Donnelly, who claimed the attack is conclusive proof that the tide in Iraq is somewhat turning in a vaguely less-ghastly direction. "This is hardly the parade of death and destruction we've grown accustomed to. In fact, I've recently received word that our injured soldier isn't even going to lose his other leg."

According to Pentagon sources, the fact that only a handful of the casualties were elderly women is a testament to the success of President Bush's latest troop surge. In addition, because only the easternmost portion of a nearby Sunni mosque experienced severe structural damage, Monday's events will go down in military records as a "relative victory for the U.S."

High-ranking commanders agreed with the assessment, saying that the scarcely atrocious incident of mass violence was just one in a recent string of less than dreadful occurrences in the not quite as, but still very troubled region. Last week's suicide bombing of two schools in Fallujah, for example, left nowhere near 500 Iraqi children dead, and Thursday's sniping of three U.S. soldiers killed just two instantly, while the other, a 19-year-old Marine, was able to survive for nearly a whole day before succumbing to internal injuries.

"This just shows that we are getting to a point where things here aren't absolutely appalling and are now consistently just god- awful," U.S. Iraq commander Gen. David Petraeus said. "And that's great."

Noting a minute decrease in helpless cries for mercy, Petraeus added that the blast's aftermath was "not even close" to being as grisly as it could have been. A satisfied Petraeus also told reporters that Baghdad streets and avenues could be more accurately described as "blood-splattered" than "blood-soaked."

"This makes the tragedy that occurred in Samarra—when eight of our men were killed in a helicopter crash, half a dozen water mains were destroyed, a major bridge was bombed to rubble, several oil fields were set on fire, and an attack on an outlying power station caused widespread electrical outages—seem like a distant memory," Petraeus said of the massive damage inflicted four hours earlier in a separate insurgent attack. "Yes, sir, things are definitely starting to virtually go our way."

Upon receiving the not-altogether-hideous news, Defense Secretary Robert Gates was reportedly optimistic, but could not predict a realistic time frame in which the overall conditions in Iraq would become the opposite of terrifying, or even sort of halfway livable. However, Gates did say that if the bombings are any indication of future conditions, the situation in Iraq could be upgraded to "nightmarish" within months.

"We see before us the promise of a new Iraq, one that is only marginally devastating or even, God willing, just temporarily horrific," Gates said. "A couple more days like this and I don't see any reason why our troops won't be able to come home slightly earlier than never."

Broke Back Poody

2007-10-22T09:31:00.000-07:00

I am so broke. I have no idea what happened other than I just spend more money than I make! I am so not enjoying this. I have till Friday to get paid and only $40. I still need gas $2.69/gallon but it is really $2.70 /gallon because it is $2.69 and 9/10ths. What is that all about? Why can't they just say what it really is? I worked all day on Saturday and then took Sunday off. I just pretty much lounged around in my jammies till around 2pm then I got up and went to the store, came back home, put my jammies back on, and the only thing I did was let the dogs in and out.

This morning around 4am I awoke to thunder and a rainstorm. It was chilly when I got up at 6:30 am around 57 degrees. That is downright cold here at the back door of hell! I guess a cold front came through. I know to folks like Ms. L. who has already seen snow this month this is not chilly at all.But believe me when I say this is autumn weather for us. I really do not have winter clothes. I mean, winter dressing for me means no sandals! Dooley was not having any of this cool weather this morning either! He stood at the back door crying to get in this morning! Needless to say because of the rain they are all in the house all day! I have a dog door but the neighbors have a little black mut dog and a blue pit bull. The pit will not let the little dog eat so he comes to my house every morning to eat. I do not mind but he wants to come in the house and I will not have it. He is not a good houseguest!

I am in week 12 of my Atkins diet! I haven't weighed again though since the week before Austin City Limits. My cousin was gone last week from Wed to Sun and when she came back I swear she looks like she is losing weight too. I mean, we see each other every day so I haven't noticed it before. I guess when you see someone every day it is harder to notice things like that. I asked her if her family commented on how much weight she had lost and she said no they had not! How rude!

Friday night the girls came over and we had a burn party.You know where you burn all the stuff that needs to be shredded. I had a huge garbage bag full of stuff and Jana had 2 bags and a box. Gail had almost a bag full. We started burning about 8:30 pm and we finished about 12:30 am! That was a lot of stuff. Of course, I looked at my fire pit this morning and it is sitting there full of water and ash! NASTY! That is going to be a chore I am not looking forward to!

Is anyone else watching the Psychic's reality show? I have caught a few of the episodes but it is interesting. The one I watched pitted 4 of them against each other in challenges. One of the challenges was to go into a hotel room and say what famous person died in there! It was where Janis Joplin died. I got chill bumps watching these people work! My cousin says I watch too much reality shows! Whatever! How about you? Do you watch reality shows?

The Most Functional Word In the English Language

2007-10-18T07:24:00.000-07:00

Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and
tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit
and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse
shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the
shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days
are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when
you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a
lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek
without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a
bucket of shit
and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the
English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a
shit!

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go.
Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day,
without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some
shit-head...........
Well, Shit Happens!!!

Summer is Almost Over

2007-10-16T07:25:00.000-07:00

So, my friend Beth just bought a house and there is a swimming pool in the back yard. It is a nice yard but there are too many trees and the pool stays in the shade most of the day. We tried to swim the other night but it was just too chilly.

In fact, this Friday night the gang is all coming over to my house for a burn party. We are going to take all the stuff you save to shred and burn it instead! Sound like fun? Come on over.I have a fire pit! My friend Annie is coming over with some things she still has to get rid of her son's. He overdosed last year and she still has this stuff. She says she is ready to part with it all and a burning ceremony is what she needs! Then that is what she shall have!I have a big bag of stuff myself!

I had the worst day yesterday which is a bad sign when you are stressing out on Monday but listen to my tale of woe! It actually starts on last Saturday. I had worked all morning and when lunch time came around and I was done for the day, I decided to take a trip to Lockhart for the best BBQ in the world. So, I get down there and I have no money on me so I hit the ATM machine which is going to charge me $2.00 to use so I decide to get out enough money for the week. $100. I do not have my purse with me and no pockets so I put the money in the food bag and sit down to eat and then head home. I eat out that bag the next 2 days on the food I had brought home. Come Monday morning I get ready for work and carry out the garbage to the curb since they pick it up every Monday morning. Come lunch time I go to pay for my food and no money! I think to myself, hey ,where is the $75m I had from Saturday? Oh no, I rush home only to find the trash has come and gone along with my money! Damn the devil! Ok fine, shake it off. But, now I am on empty for the gas in the car and need to go get more before heading back to work. I go to the gas station and pull up and ding ding ding... no money card either. I am still out of money! So, I head to the bank which thankfully is close by and sit in line for the slowest teller in the world! Finally, I get my money and go back to the gas station where I have to get out and go pay! What? I am so not used to doing things with real cash! I take $40 and get $30 worth of gas and a Dr. Pepper. I go back out to pump the gas and toss the 3 ones and a five spot in the open window of the car. As I am pumping gas a bum walks up and asks me to help him out. I tell him, sorry I am having my own money crisis toady. He mumbles something under his breath and then reaches in the open window grabs my $8 and turns to leave. I see this and start yelling,"Oh hell to the no, you did not just take my damn money muther fucker!" I am still holding the gas nozzle in my hand and I turn pulling it out of the car and am spraying gass all over him and the surrounding area. He starts yelling back at me and this Mexican guy on the next pump steps up and stops the guy shoving him up against the pump and gets my money back. He stands there talking to the guy and ends up giving him $5.00. I by this time am through pumping gas and get in the car and as I am driving off I stop and offer the bum the 3 one dollar bills I have. He reached out and took it then realized it was me and threw it back in the car cussing me and saying he doesn't want my fucking money! I drive off in a huff and when I get to the stop light I look down and notice he threw my money and the 5 dollar bill the Mexican had given him as well! I got jacked by and then in turn jacked a homeless guy! This cannot be a good omen!

I get back to work only to be bombarded by a constant barrage of phone calls each one more annoying than the last.A daughter of a patient called me. She is a verbal vomiter and will keep you on the phone repeating the same things over and over again! I finally just put her on speaker phone and continued working on putting a referral into the system. She has ADD or something and talks so much that you need not even throw in a uh huh! This went on for about 20 minutes which seemed an eternity. After that I get a call from a Dr. office looking for lab work on a patient that was done early this morning. Where is it? I call around to find out the nurse did not mark it as STAT even thought it should have been so now I have to call the Dr. office and explain to them in a way without saying it that yes we do employ ididots here! I rounded the day out at 6:30 pm only 1 1/2 hours after hours with a call from a demented patient who kept telling me the same things over and over again. Wheew!

Today is Tuesday and as such are historically, for me, bad.I am going to keep my hopes up that it will be a good day but it has not so far shown itself to be a good one! Ok, I am done crabbing! I am thankful for a job to be bothered at and thankful for.. hey wait a minute I am not gonna be thankful for the "w"! Fuck that!

2 year anniversary

2007-10-11T14:53:00.000-07:00

It has been 2 years since the Rat Bastard was caught cheating and lying to me. I am still mending the broken heart he left me with. After today only 323 more days to go before I get over him. That is, if the whole it will take 1000 days to get over him theory works. This past weekend I went thru the room of pain and found some of his stuff in there ;like old pictures of him and his family when he was a kid that sort of stuff and old letters and cards that he had saved over the years. I did not throw them out. I took them and placed them in a container and set it out on the front porch. Now, I just have to figure out a way for him to be notified of them being out there without me actually having to call him and risk him picking up the phone. I want him to have the stuff but I do not want to talk to him about it. I wish I had his email address so I could just email him and tell him to come and get his stuff. I guess I have been a little on edge this whole past week and today because of the time of year and all. I so want this to just be over and am mad at myself for not being over it after 2 years! What is with me anyways? I want to not be alone but I don't want to date. I cannot even imagine a date with someone at this point in my life. I am just now being ok with who I am.
When my friend came to help me clean out that room one of the things she did was move the furniture around in the living room and she put the couch in the same spot that it sat for so very long while he lived here. I am still not ok with it although spatially it works. The way I had it made the room smaller and hard to get around but I swear it makes me feel uneasy sitting there on the same couch albeit with a different cover in the same spot where we sat side by side each and every night.I know, see what I mean ?I am perserverating on something that is so long gone it ain't even funny people and still I cannot move forward and put it behind me. No matter how hard I try, I miss him! FUCKING shit! And that pisses me off to no end! I do not want to miss him. I don't want to wonder if he misses me. I do not want to think about him at all! Ok ,I am gonna climb off of my pity pot now and go empty it hopefully for good! Yeah, right!

Cleaning House

2007-10-10T09:25:00.000-07:00

I have been off for the last 2 days from work to get my house in order. I have a room I call the room of pain. It was a kind of catch all storage room before the Rat Bastard moved out and then when he was moving out he just chunked stuff in there. The result was a jumble of trash and discarded, sad, junked up crap! I kept putting off going through it because I knew it would be a big chore and it would hurt me to have to rummage through his trash! So, enter my friend Connie from Dallas. She is in between jobs and came down last Friday to help me get through the room of pain. She was brutal too. She was throwing everything out. I had to keep sneaking out to the curb to rescue things that I still wanted to hang onto. Like...my bowling shirt from 1977. Or my great aunt's nurse's cape from when she graduated nursing school. Probably almost 100 years old!Don't get me wrong though, there was a LOT of stuff that got tossed! I threw out a lot of stuff I had been holding onto for whatever lame reason. Like a broken wall clock I was going to take to be fixed about 15 years ago. Or a pair of stiletto heels I will never wear again. Or my favorite was my biniki from age 25! Damn, I was hot back then! But, it is all gone now.I now have 1 plastic box that houses old letters,postcards,pictures,concert stubs, and other various sentimental items. The room is a lot emptier but I still need a storage shed in the back yard. I have a lot of stuff and my cousin's stuff is all in the garage so no more room in there. I think I will start saving back the $ amount it would cost if I was to rent a unit and then when I have enough saved up go buy one! Maybe, but in case that takes too long I am also going to look into just going ahead and getting one sooner than that. I have to say that although it was hard on me both emotionally and physically to clean that room out it does feel better now that it is done. I keep going in there and looking around at what is left. It feels better too!

I Owe My Mother

2007-10-05T09:46:00.000-07:00

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're
in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry
about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your
neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went
through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you
out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in
this world who don't have wonderful parents like you
do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are
going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when
you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come
running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow
up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were
born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about
JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out
just like you!"

Quick Note

2007-10-04T16:36:00.000-07:00

I am still at work and it is almost 7pm. I am done now except I wanted to post something but I hate the computer when I get home. I sit in front of one all day so when I get home it is the last thing I want to do and my cousin is usually on there playing games. I had a bad day yesterday. It started out yesterday morning when I went out to feed and water the dogs. I saw the neighbor's dog in the yard. She is a sweet little black dog,a mutt about 20 pounds.This does not worry me but there is another dog in their yard and she is a pit bull. I do not need a pit bull getting ahold of Dooley man. So, I put the dogs in the house and set out to find where this dog got into the yard.I looked and looked and never saw it. She, by the way, was gone back to her yard when I went back out to check the fence line! Ok, so maybe she jumped over!
I got in the car and took off for work. Traffic was exceptionally heavy and I inched my way to the "w". I was clipping along on Mopac when I got pulled over for changing lanes and signalling at the same time. He said I cut someone off! Whatever! I didn't have my seat belt on. I told him I have a torn bicep in my right shoulder and it is excruciatingly painful to try to put it on and take it off. I know it sounds lame but it is the truth. He could have cared less! I also had an expired inspection sticker! He ticketed me for the seat belt($145) and the expired sticker($123). Fuck me to tears!
I got to work and it was busy as usual. I am on my own and my job is very hectic. I got 16 referrals and I usually only get 3-5 a day but oh no we got 16 of those suckers. This is not that bad except that I kept getting interrupted while trying to enter them all. I could not verify medicare because for some reason my password to get in the system was not working! I had to leave to go to the Dr (psychiciatrist) who labeled me as being distraught when he asked me how my day was going and I told him I was having one of "those days". He increased one of my meds and told me to come back in a week! On the way out of his office I stopped at the soda machine to get a diet Dr Pepper. I opened it up and it spewed all over the place, me included! I went to the bathrooom to clean up and the paper towel holder broke open spilling out about 300 paper towels. I tried in vain to stuff them all back in there but the dang door was broken! I just started laughing! I mean really!
I go back to work and was thinking to myself I am stressing out and need to quit it now! Now is not forever! (My favorite mantra)But, no one of the anal marketers comes in hollering at me that a referral that had come in that morning had come in Monday morning and needed the nurse out there now! I explained that no, it came in this morning and the nurse could go out tomorrow. He insisted that the referral had come in Monday because the Dr's nurse said she sent it in Monday! (Right, like she wasn't lying to cover her ass) Whatever! I called the guy and talked to his daughter who told me she wanted the nurse to come out because he was so weak he couldn't get out of bed and wasn't eating.I suggested a trip to the ER. She said a family friend who was also a Dr. had suggested this also but she was reluctant. I explained the while we could come out and see her father that our services are not emergent and it sounded like he needed to be assessed by a Dr. in an emergency room setting. Ok, so that is taken casre of right? She will call me back to let me know if he is staying there or not. Now, here comes the anal retard hollering at me saying I need to send the nurse out after he comes home from the ER! Excuse me, medicare will not pay for the nurse to see the pt. the same day he is seen in the ER! If he is in need of nursing services that would be done by the ER staff! God,I hate when dumb asses try to tell me my job!After much cajoling he finally left with a sound verbal thrashing from me! In other words got the hell out of here!
I didn't get out of there until after 7:30 pm ! GRRRR!!!!I was so tired when I got home I just took a shower and went to my room and watched TV from the comfort of my own bed.
Today has been busy too. I have company coming in tomorrow and my house is no where near clean! I gotta get home now and do some laundry and sweep up some dog hair!
I hope everyone is having a good day and not joining with me in wondering where the hell my Calgon bath is!

What's on my Mind

2007-10-02T08:06:00.001-07:00

I am at work and of course I am fucking off! My favorite work activity! I was sitting here listening to my radio station on Yahoo! The Counting Crows are singing about a long December. They have a new album coming out next month and I can hardly wait! They are without a doubt my FAVORITE band in the world! I have seen them so many times I can't even count anymore... well wait a minute,11 maybe 12 times. I know that seems excessive but believe me it isn't near enough.

I got the new K.T. album yesterday. It is sounding pretty good too. Matchbox 20 has a new album out this month. I think it is a lot of old songs with a few new tracks. The new Collective Soul album is great! I love the single Hollywood. Now if Better Than Ezra can just put a new album out I would be a happy woman indeed!

My friend Kelly and her husband went to Houston the other night to see Velvet Revolver who also has a new album out! She said they rocked! I saw them a few years back and it was one of the best performances I have ever seen. I haven't gotten their new album yet. What is up with that?

The "clits" are working on a birthday routine for fellow "clit" Gail's 50th birthday party. She wanted a drag show so we are putting one on for her and we have been meeting up every evening after work to rehearse our dance moves! It will be a fun time. I have been trying to find a stripper who will dress in drag and strip for us but I am having a hard time finding this. The people I have talked with all have a problem with the guy dressing in drag and then stripping. I do not see what the issue is I mean, what difference does it make whether or not you are stripping out of a police uniform, pizza guy outfit, or a mini dress and fishnet hose? The final result is you in a g-string on the table , right?Whatever! We may not get a stripper! The menu is vodka punch and and a penis cake! She didn't want a big party but we had to invite someone to come and watch the show! It will be less than 20 people though! To us, this is a small gathering! I still have to go buy her birthday gift and get my costume together. I have to have BIG hair for sure! Luckily, being a Texas girl, I can make big hair no matter what!

My old boss is now my counterpart. The talker is gone for good. She is not a well person and has retired. I hope she gets better but do I miss her? Hell to the no! My old boss knows her stuff and will be a lot of help when she gets through orienting the new boss, who by the way, seems very nice indeed!I hope she likes me OK because I have a very dynamic personality. I mean, you either like me or you hate me. There is not much grey area there. This is why after 30 years of nursing I am not in a power of position. Oh well, I don't feel like I am missing much. Maybe, a little more money and a lot more responsibility. To tell the truth I never wanted to be a nurse all my life! Too late now!

Dooley and I went to an open house over the weekend at the new Petsmart. Thye have a doggy hotel and it was so niice. They have individual rooms for the dogs with a nice little bed with sheepskin covers and a little pillow. They have TV sets that show doggy movies. They get 3 walks a day and have soft serve ice cream treats with doggy cookies! For bedtime they give them a kong filled with peanut butter! There is even a telephone booth so you can call and talk to them! I may have to use their services if I ever get to go anywhere.$25/day. Seems reasonable. Of course, everyone was fawning all over Dooley because he is so different. Plus, he is adorable to boot!

Last thought is about TV. Have you seen the new show Moonlight? I love it. The main guy is so hot. He is from Australia, of course! He was in a very bizarre movie,Feed. it was without a doubt one of the weirdest movies not to be from David Lynch I have ever seen! I am not recommending it but he is a looker!I think he may have been on The Shield last season as well. Anyways, check out Moonlight and see what I mean.

Ok, then back to work!

Rules of Austin

2007-09-27T08:29:00.000-07:00

1. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Austin has its own set of traffic rules. There's no book about them. All you can do is get in your car and hope you survive to learn them.

2 . All directions start with "Go down Mopac...'cause you don't want to get on I-35."

3. Burnet Road, Braker Lane , and Lamar Blvd. have no beginning and no end.

4. It is impossible to go around a block and wind up on the same street that you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls this a scenic drive.

5. The 8:00am rush hour is from 6:30am to 9:30am. The 5:00pm rush hour is from 3:30pm to 7:15pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, then you cannot be from Austin . You may only apply your brakes when the end of a yellow light and the beginning of the red light create a burnt-orange hue. This is Longhorn Country, after all.

7. If you like being an individual, don't even think of working for Dell. You'll be branded like cattle and made to walk all over town with your Dell Tag around your neck or clipped on to your belt loop. Ninety-eight percent of the people within a 200 mile radius work for Dell. When someone says "Michael Dell", Dell employees are trained to face Round Rock, hit their knees, put their face to the ground,
weep, and rock back and forth.

8. Just remember that Mopac is Loop 1; Capital of Texas Hwy is 360; and U.S.183 is Research Blvd. , Anderson Lane, Ed Bluestein Blvd. and Old Bastrop Hwy; 2222 is Northland Dr. or Allendale Rd. or Koenig Lane. Don't try to figure it out. Just accept it. If you question the intelligence behind this naming convention, people will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you.

9. If moisture is determined to be rain, and not sweat, all traffic must immediately come to a screeching halt; ditto for a female UT student applying eye-shadow across the street, or a flat tire three lanes over.

10. DO NOT attempt to access any road during an apocalyptic event like snow or SXSW (South by Southwest Music Convention) or the ACL Fest or any one of the myriad running marathons held in Austin each year. Construction on I-35 AND U.S. 183 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. Get used to it!

11. Attn: All telephone solicitors...DO NOT correct my pronunciation when I say I live in Manchaca , TX . It's pronounced MAN-chack. Also realize that the city of Manchaca (MANchack) is in Hays and Travis Counties , and there is also a very long street in Austin named Manchaca (MANchack)! The city of Manor and Manor Rd. are pronounced 'MAY-ner'. We don't like corrections on that either. And, for God's sake, DON'T pronounce the 'E' at the end of Guadalupe. It's Gwada-LOOP and we like it that way!

12. Burnet Road is pronounced BURN-it, not Bur-NET. Koenig Lane is pronounced KAE-nig not KOE-nig. The old airport (Robert Mueller) is pronounced Robert Miller and is on Airport Boulevard . The new airport (Austin-Bergstrom) is no where near Airport Boulevard . It's in the city of Del Valle pronounced Dell Valley !

13. Keep in mind that the sloppily dressed 'hippie' in worn-out sandals and earrings is probably the latest IPO millionaire
around here.

14. Stay away from the Congress Ave. bridge at sundown if you do not like the thought of being in an Alfred Hitchcock movie. (Largest Mexican Free Tail Bat Population in the US )

15. And, yes, we all know that there's a man in a teddy and a tiara on Congress Ave. It's Leslie and he probably makes more money than you do. (Surely, you have a homeless, celebrity drag queen that likes to run for Mayor where you live, too, right?)

**Now you won't have to wonder why there are so many bumper stickers that say 'Keep Austin Weird'!

Middle Name MEME

2007-09-25T16:14:00.000-07:00

Here's how it works I get to state a random fact about myself using the letters of my middle name. Theresa. Yes, i know Mary Theresa! A good Catholic girl name! Yep, that's me alright! I was named for 2 aunts. Now you know why I was called Poody in the family everyone's name is Mary! LOL!

T-two! I have 2 big dogs that are sisters, Osa and Chula (spanish for bear and sweetie) They are half rottweiler and half german shephard. They will be 9 yrs. old this October and they are the best dogs EVER!

H-House! I love my house so much I have bought it 3 times now! LOL I kept refinancing it till I got the interest rate and the years to pay on it to what I wanted!

E-Elvis! I love Elvis! When I was a kid I used to go to the movies to see him. I never cared that much for his music because it was old fashioned when I was a teenager. But, then when I was 16 yrs. old I saw him in Vegas and let me just tell you I saw the light folks! He was so wonderful and charismatic! I became a faithful follower! I celbrate every year for my birthday by going to the Elvis tribute show at the Continental Club! His birthday is 3 days after mine! Yep, he is a Capricorn, me, Elvis, and jesus! hello, can it get any better than that! Hell to the NO!

R-Rocks. I have a rock collection. I have had it since I was a kid. I collect rocks from every new place I go. I have river rocks, mountain rocks, sacred rocks, well, you get the idea. No, none of them are polished!

E-Eat! I love love love to eat! That is probably why I am so fat right now! LOL I have been on this stupid diet for the last 7 weeks though and I am managing to lose some weight and eat things I like. Thank you Dr. Atkins!

S-Social. I am a very social person. I have a lot of friends and I love every one of them! I would so not make it as a hermit! I get by with a little help from my friends!

A-Ambedextrious! I use both hands depending on what I am doing. Like, for example, I write and eat with my left hand as well as start IV's or draw blood.Anything that requires fine finger movement. But, my right hand I use for things like bowling, batting, or anything else that requires strength. It has always been that way. I can reverse the things I do but they don't come out as well. I never learned to crochet because my Grandmother tried to teach me using my right hand.