Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Back in the Office

Well, this week I am back in the office. I kind of like it except that the traffic sucks and the hours are long. I am used to being home by 4pm or at least in my part of town. Here, I am 18 miles from home but it takes almost an hour to get home. There are only so many ways to get across the river to south side of town where I live. I went to Fort Worth this past weekend for a family reunion for my step father's side of the family. I saw cousins I have not seen in 20 years or more. It was fun catching up with them all and meeting their extended families. My sister,Anna, who has the transverse myelitis is doing better and appeared in better spirits. I was in constant pain from my knees. It seemed like everywhere I sat was too low! My sister commented that I must be doing better because I seemed to be getting around better. When I told her that in fact it was the worst ever she was surprised because I never said anything about it. I mean, you know, what is there to say? I hurt like a bitch every time I get up or walk or stand for more than 15 minutes at a time. If I walk too much then not only do my knees hurt but then so does my right hip start aching! I have 2 blown knees, 2 torn biceps and a right hip that is starting the decent downward. I am a big old mess people! Ok Off the pity pot!


Saturday, August 15, 2009


Wow I have discovered facebook and a lot of people I know are there. It is strange to say the least but kind of fun catching up with someone. I mean, I found three girls I went to Catholic grade school with. Relatives,classmates,etc. I can also put photos up easier on that sight for some reason. I have had a hard time of it lately. I guess ever since July for sure. I was on call the week before and it was the call from hell.I got a call every night and even one at 4am one night! I got totally lost out in the boonies and when I called the office to get someone to help me figure out what was what I was told they were busy and I needed to get a GPS mapbook or both. I had to call my cousin and she spent 2 hours with me trying to find this one guy. Then when I did find the dude he was living in this tiny fun down fifth wheel RV with rickety steps and when I was exiting the rat trap I slipped on the crappy step and fell out of the damn thing hurting my right knee and back! I hurt so bad. I rolled around in the guy's front yard all dust in a pair of white capris of course! He was 85 years old and weighed about the same. He wanted to help me get up! I told him to just stay back and I hauled my ass up and hobbled to my work vehicle and drove up the street and pulled over and cried like a baby! I went home that evening and my new laptop got knocked off the table onto the floor causing about $400 worth of work. Gosh, just talking about the whole thing kind of bums me out now. Sorry, although I do not know who I would be apologizing to because no one but me seems to be reading this. Hey, care it is all about me, right? My blog...
The whole point is I had a shitty few weeks. My knees hurt so bad that I am in constant pain. Most of all when I have to get up from a seated position. I take pain medication every day. I am afraid of the toll it is taking on my kidneys but without it I am immobile. I need to make an appointment with an Otho. Dr but I am afraid of the outcome which will be I need to have my knees replaced. I get it I know but I cannot afford to get it done. I do not have enough sick time to be off for the time it would require to rehab from something like that plus I really need to have them both replaced so if that were the case it would take additional time off. I feel helpless and sad about it all.I am like a 3 year old. I cry every day it seems.I am also afraid of what all bad things could happen to me. The anesthesia alone could kill me and I could wake up on a ventilator! That would so freak me out! I could throw a fat emboli or stroke out or bleed out or develop some god awful infection.It is so scary to me more than anything else!
Pity party...
I did see Counting Crows a few weeks back. They were excellent of course. I am hoping to see Better Than Ezra in September and oh yes Paulo Nutini is coming back. He has a new album out I have only heard it a few times and I am not in love with it yet. It sounds a little leprechaun to me is all.
It is so very hot here. Over 50 days of temps above 100.I shower in the morning and by the time I get home my hair is soaking wet along with my body. It is sick! Enough already!We get it. I always say we live at the back door of hell and this summer the devil has kept that door propped open!I am so hoping and praying for an early fall. It also almost never rains either.Annoying as hell. Ok enough verbal vomit.
And you....


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